I can't remember what I was like before my daughter was born. She is about to turn twelve and lives with multiple special needs including a mild cognitive disability, a motor planning disorder called apraxia and an arachnoid cyst flattening her cerebellum. In our house we've always described her as Shirley Temple with issues. She is pure and
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First of all, I want to apologize to you for having offended you with this entry.
If I were to be in your shoes, I'd probably say the same thing. I'd probably get offended just the same by insensitive people giving hurtful remarks. It'd be hard living and coping with people not taking into consideration how the "R" word may be affecting the families of and those who are mentally challenged (I hope to be politically correct, please correct me if there is a more accepted word for that).
Reading your blog entry about the "R" word, I'd say I'm shocked and enlightened at the same time. Shocked because I didn't realize how awful the question made by the speaker I blogged about. Honestly, I was thinking that you may have misunderstood it, that the speaker didn't really mean it that way. I really tried to remember how the speaker asked the question, what words did he use exactly in order to somehow defend his point. But no matter how I tried to rephrase it: 'Who would you rather be: weak or retarded? Give me a logical explanation', I realized that it's still wrong because it's as if we're limiting what the 'mentally challenged' can do and that they can only stay that way. In which I truly felt bad having known that your daughter can do lots of things now and is constantly improving. I'm happy to hear that.
Allow me to share something: Our school conducts this annual 'For the Kids' event wherein the students spend a day being a sister and/or a brother to kids who are mentally and physically challenged. Last year, I volunteered and I spent a very tiring but fulfilling day with a kid who has ADHD (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Hundreds of kids who have special needs with their parents joined the event. We started the day with a mass, getting-to-know-you activities, mini-olympics, eating together, and basically having fun.
That was really fulfilling for me because Henry (my super active kid for the day) said touching remarks which I would never forget. It was my first time to actually be with a special child so I didn't know what to expect. Henry said to me "Ate, nananaginip ba ako? Ang saya-saya ko kasi eh" (Am I dreaming? I'm so happy right now.) and "Ate, sama kayo sa bahay namin mamaya ah, kayo na lang mag-alaga sa akin" (Please come to our house, I want you to be the ones to take care of me).
YET, I realize there is so much more for me to understand, to consider, and to learn.
Ignorance is never an excuse, I often say. Truly, I was one of the 'ignorant, insensitive, inconsiderate' people who would use the slang and remarks such as "Are you a retard?" to refer to someone who is being stupid, funny, etc. not knowing that it's painful for others to hear.
I just want to again apologize for having offended you and thank you for opening my eyes to this kind of reality. You're doing a good job in speaking up for those who can't defend themselves, for you have allowed me to speak up for them also now that I came to this realization. I hope to have the same effect to others as you have on me.
Allow me to post this including your comment on a separate blog entry.
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Of course you have my permission to post your comment along with mine on a separate blog.
Best wishes.
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Best wishes for a very happy and healthy new year. I very much appreciate your kind reply.
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