I don't have to be careful. I got a gun!
Okayokayokay. So Doggett has been giving me dirty looks from his security post on my dresser, and I couldn't figure out why until canis_m put this up and I remembered that I never posted Doggett's first mission report. Strap yourself in and read on...if you dare.
As soon as the most intense, manly, and intensely manly action figure ever (surrounded by his patented Shell Of Manliness (TM)) is unpacked, he immediately sets out to explore his surroundings and set up a secure perimeter. Doggett is wired for sound. On the grid, if you will. Suddenly, he receives a transmission: an intruder has been spotted not far away!
Doggett busts out his trusty flashlight, and keeping his even trustier sidearm at the ready, stealthily moves out.
Suddenly, he hears a noise! Arming himself heavily, Doggett advances. Silently...silently...until he spots a shadowy figure. He swiftly takes aim, and-
--heeeeey! It's Mulder! Everybody's favorite expert on the unexplained! Mulder greets Doggett enthusiastically, blissfully unaware of how close he has just come to feeling the sweet kiss of hot lead. After pausing to let the adrenaline leave his system, Doggett welcomes the diminutive agent.
Just then, Mulder notices Doggett's sidearm. He is immediately entranced. This gun puts his to shame. Mulder asks if he can hold it. Reluctantly, Doggett agrees.
Clutching the massive firearm, Mulder is instantly flooded with an exaggerated sense of self-worth. No one dare mock him with a gun this size!
Mulder feels the heady rush of self-confidence and invulnerability that only an overly-large weapon can bring. He is lord over all he surveys! All must do his bidding! Yes! THE POWAAAH!
Mulder's self-aggrandizing inner monologue is brought to a crashing halt when Scully appears. After pointing out that he looks ridiculous and is no doubt moments away from shooting himself accidentally, she demands to know where he got his mitts on such a weapon. Mulder caves immediately, and points the finger at Doggett.
Scully busts Doggett for letting Mulder play with something so dangerous. Doggett has the good grace to look sheepish. But just then, Scully spots something that piques her interest...
Dragging Mulder over to use as a stepladder, Scully brings herself level with the real firepower. Now that's a gun! Scully immediately sees the advantages of toting a weapon almost as large as she is, and insists that Doggett show her how to use it.
Charmed by the thought of Scully packing that kind of heat, Doggett gladly shows her how to lock and load.
"Hasta la vista, baby." Scully is officially even more kick-ass than before, to Mulder's dismay. Sorry, little buddy! Maybe next time!
As soon as the most intense, manly, and intensely manly action figure ever (surrounded by his patented Shell Of Manliness (TM)) is unpacked, he immediately sets out to explore his surroundings and set up a secure perimeter. Doggett is wired for sound. On the grid, if you will. Suddenly, he receives a transmission: an intruder has been spotted not far away!
Doggett busts out his trusty flashlight, and keeping his even trustier sidearm at the ready, stealthily moves out.
Suddenly, he hears a noise! Arming himself heavily, Doggett advances. Silently...silently...until he spots a shadowy figure. He swiftly takes aim, and-
--heeeeey! It's Mulder! Everybody's favorite expert on the unexplained! Mulder greets Doggett enthusiastically, blissfully unaware of how close he has just come to feeling the sweet kiss of hot lead. After pausing to let the adrenaline leave his system, Doggett welcomes the diminutive agent.
Just then, Mulder notices Doggett's sidearm. He is immediately entranced. This gun puts his to shame. Mulder asks if he can hold it. Reluctantly, Doggett agrees.
Clutching the massive firearm, Mulder is instantly flooded with an exaggerated sense of self-worth. No one dare mock him with a gun this size!
Mulder feels the heady rush of self-confidence and invulnerability that only an overly-large weapon can bring. He is lord over all he surveys! All must do his bidding! Yes! THE POWAAAH!
Mulder's self-aggrandizing inner monologue is brought to a crashing halt when Scully appears. After pointing out that he looks ridiculous and is no doubt moments away from shooting himself accidentally, she demands to know where he got his mitts on such a weapon. Mulder caves immediately, and points the finger at Doggett.
Scully busts Doggett for letting Mulder play with something so dangerous. Doggett has the good grace to look sheepish. But just then, Scully spots something that piques her interest...
Dragging Mulder over to use as a stepladder, Scully brings herself level with the real firepower. Now that's a gun! Scully immediately sees the advantages of toting a weapon almost as large as she is, and insists that Doggett show her how to use it.
Charmed by the thought of Scully packing that kind of heat, Doggett gladly shows her how to lock and load.
"Hasta la vista, baby." Scully is officially even more kick-ass than before, to Mulder's dismay. Sorry, little buddy! Maybe next time!