(no subject)
Well . I have done little the past few days except come up with a few interesting fibs I have told friends to keep them away. I can not say that I am depressed, but I am in the clutches of depression. The manifestations are oriented toward isolation lack of ambition, personal care and anxiety. I have enough therapy experience behind me to cope and also to recognize the things I am doing that do not help me in this cycle.
I do not want to see people except in instances where I can find out they are well, and maybe a couple minutes of chit-chat and then walk away. I am existing in my own little world and am coping but tire easily of having to deal with others. If I had a few friends that actually understood that in the area everything would be hunky dory.
I can not explain this to others, so I sometimes suffer their company and hope they wont stay long. Then of course afterward I feel guilty because they really are coming most of the time for my benefit. I really like these people, but I do not know how to explain to them the way I feel.
I have to go over to these friends later this evening, because it is a birthday and begging off did not work. I had to agree to come over after all of my affairs ( mostly fibs )and at least have coffee.
I do not want to see people except in instances where I can find out they are well, and maybe a couple minutes of chit-chat and then walk away. I am existing in my own little world and am coping but tire easily of having to deal with others. If I had a few friends that actually understood that in the area everything would be hunky dory.
I can not explain this to others, so I sometimes suffer their company and hope they wont stay long. Then of course afterward I feel guilty because they really are coming most of the time for my benefit. I really like these people, but I do not know how to explain to them the way I feel.
I have to go over to these friends later this evening, because it is a birthday and begging off did not work. I had to agree to come over after all of my affairs ( mostly fibs )and at least have coffee.