I think I might be dirty and wrong. And also just sad.
Today we had a Santa in the building the bookstore's attached to. I didn't know this until I heard someone say "Hey, can I leave this here?" and turned to see Santa holding out his cell phone. I wrapped my brain around that tableau for a moment, *got it,* and stowed his phone for him. No pockets in Santa's suit.
He was a very good Santa, quite jolly looking, though pretty slender. He turned to go, and I noticed he had a really big white string--cord, really--dangling from under his coat. Very un-Santalike. So I said, "Oh, wait, you've got a string, let me get that for you." Santa flipped the back of his coat up, and I saw that what was hanging was the tie to his pants. And that the only place to tuck it--since it couldn't be cut off without ruining the costume--was into his underwear, which were quite visible through the gap where his pants tied. I may have said aloud, "Okay, I'm going to try not to grab you inappropriately, Santa," before I dropped the cord down under the waistband of his underwear. All the while trying not to notice that Santa had it going on. Really, really nice butt. And how long has it been since I've been anywhere near a real guy's undies and/or ass? So much too long. Certainly it's been since before the current underwear fetish thing moved from latent to blatant.
But yeah, the underwear thing--very real. Thankfully Santa did not turn to look at me as he thanked me and headed out to do his thing, because he would have found me as red as his suit and trying not to dissolve in giggles. Maggy, who was working with me, came in a minute later and asked if I was okay--me: still red--and I just put my head down on the counter and laughed and laughed and laughed.
*is dirty, wrong, patheticness personified*
He was a very good Santa, quite jolly looking, though pretty slender. He turned to go, and I noticed he had a really big white string--cord, really--dangling from under his coat. Very un-Santalike. So I said, "Oh, wait, you've got a string, let me get that for you." Santa flipped the back of his coat up, and I saw that what was hanging was the tie to his pants. And that the only place to tuck it--since it couldn't be cut off without ruining the costume--was into his underwear, which were quite visible through the gap where his pants tied. I may have said aloud, "Okay, I'm going to try not to grab you inappropriately, Santa," before I dropped the cord down under the waistband of his underwear. All the while trying not to notice that Santa had it going on. Really, really nice butt. And how long has it been since I've been anywhere near a real guy's undies and/or ass? So much too long. Certainly it's been since before the current underwear fetish thing moved from latent to blatant.
But yeah, the underwear thing--very real. Thankfully Santa did not turn to look at me as he thanked me and headed out to do his thing, because he would have found me as red as his suit and trying not to dissolve in giggles. Maggy, who was working with me, came in a minute later and asked if I was okay--me: still red--and I just put my head down on the counter and laughed and laughed and laughed.
*is dirty, wrong, patheticness personified*