just an update even though it will cause issues

[hitoriphoenix]

Well, its been a while since I have updated, so I guess its time. The things that have happend in the past month are so has come about to a new development. I now live back at moms house with Xander. In the on going problems that Nick and I have had have gotten too much for me. I know some would say to try and reconcile but the time for that has

Comments

Hopeful Meanings Part 2

[virus_v9_09]

I am not trying to bash you, but you seem to hold grudges on every minor detail and i do not want xander taught that in any way. Its no way to live and will ultimatly cause you to be alone. Xander deserves a better life than both of us, and deserves the right things in life. You may consider me a major mistake you made in life, but do NOT make Xander feel that way nor make him look at it as if he is when he's old enough to understand things. I am glad you are happy, it makes me feel good inside that you are now happy, though what would make me happy is for you not to be as cold harsh and calou towards me as you are. We both made mistakes in our life together and they are not repairable nor erasable. You may hate the fact, bu i am and will be part of your life reguardless Because of Xander, if you do not want me to be in that light or anyothe rlight, please inform me and i will make arangements accordingly. Just remember our lives are both forever changed by an wonderful little innocent life, and is more important than any person be it on th enet or face to face. I will now admit here fully and openly, no one will come first no one when it comes to my son if any that is out there that feels it show be the other way around I do not need you as a friend o any other part. And Amanda, I hope you feel the same whn it comes to Xander, if not I feel sorry for him already. I will be as Civil and as friendly about this as you will allow it, but if you wish to make thi an all out war, then so be it. Remeber Karma has he ways and will slap you when she feels the time is right. I will never belittle you to anyone in any right and thi spost is merely a statement and feeling. With that I will bid you a fon dfarewell and may the light of the gods shine upon Xander and you where ever you go or wherever life takes you.

Re: Hopeful Meanings Part 2

[hitoriphoenix]

your right, i dont know ppl truely till i come face to face with them. But you remember that in return. In truth I didnt know you and when I came face to face with you and spent time around you I saw things I didnt like then. I thought it was just due to things going on in your private life. things with your father etc. I saw some of those things alot off and on the whole time we were together. I still looked for a brighter day. We have had very poor communication in the past and it seems we still have it now. Dave and I dont have that issue. What is it really? Are you worried or is this jelousy? As far as me being your friend, I can be you know.I am not holding any grudges. That point in my life has passed. you need not worry. The feeling I get though when Im around you is the bitterness you harbor about this whole thing. I never said I wouldnt be yoru friend. As far as the other part. David would not hurt Xan. Matter of fact he adores him. I dont see the past as a mistake. It taught me valuble lessons and I would not change a single thing because of who it has made me today. I didnt think ud move back to CA honestly. for one, it seems you are staying as far away from your father as possible. Roger would try and talk to you about coming back because he misses you. you are his friend. His best friend. I just hope you havent told them i am some uncaring bitch that treated you bad. You know thats not true. I care for Roger and his family. I miss them dearly actually. Well, im going to go. I have read both your posts and honestly I in your replys I see bits of attack. Please do not attack me for my thoughts I will not with you. Also I ask, if you are as happy for me as you say you are, Dont try and make guarded coments about David ok? Just be a father to our son.

Re: Hopeful Meanings Part 2

[virus_v9_09]

I am only being protective of my son as you would if I was with another that you really didn't know. Its only natral to be defensive of a child that is yours. I am not bitter nor Jealous. Worried maybe a little but that goes without saying. But you are an adult and can make adult decisions. I trust yoru judgement and I hope that they pay off well in the end for you. Far as me teaching you a valuable lesson, I can't really say what it is but maybe its to never trust a guy like me or anyone that is in my class or what not. Not meaning this as a racial thing but maybe people of my race. i am no in yoru head nor will I try to get there. Only you know that. Maybe in time i will see, but for now it is good. All i know is I hope me being what I am to you has not ruined it for any other if things do not work with you and Dave. i hope it does because you belong together and no one else would have a chance even i you didn't. So I hope for the est in yoru rekindled Realationship. careing thoughts. Nick.

Re: Hopeful Meanings Part 2

[hitoriphoenix]

T_T How shallow do you really think i am? i mean come on. your race? your class? -head/desk- I dont see in races, class and colors. im sorry but that pisses me off and makes me just wanna say that your being a dumbass. flat out. If you dont know that by now you are more clueless to who I am than i thought.