Im'a Bird Dog in a Wolf tee shirt!
Hey Y’all,
I got a nice tye-died howling wolf tee a while back at a Pow-Wow, and the next week it joined me out camping-with a chick, cha-ching and her whole family, un-cha-ching! But that is not the best part… I guess you could call it my “lucky” shirt now after all this.
I wore it the other day to Wal-Mart and was immediately approached by two women in the parking lot. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their friend and give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth to take home to mom, and frankly a man wearing a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him like that. I felt empowered with this halo of fur around me and kinda warm and fuzzy inside.
I finally made it through the door while trying to drag myself away from those scantly dressed Tricks that looked like they already got Treated for Halloween and mounted up on my courtesy-scooter. Walking is such a drag! and that old lady at the door doesn’t have to give me the evil eye, I’m mentally impaired Lady… anyway I set side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around and glanced up in slow motion to see a slightly astounded dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there with a Virginia Slim barely hanging on her lip slowly exhaling. I watched as her lips let the cigarette slip and slowly drop from her al-struck mouth to form a tiny nebula of glowing embers scattered across the waxed tile like destiny’s hand aligning the stars. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt and I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. I told her to hop aboard. She threw down her bottle of suave moose and hanger of leopard spotted pj’s in the cart and offered me a swig from her Mountain Dew as she got in my lap on the scooter.
Just when I could think heaven could been any closer to earth- the girl at the check out counter was the Preacher Long’s daughter and kept glancing at my shirt and winking as she slowly scanned and rescanned the bottles of Redi-Whip I had in the buggy. She kept leaning closer and closer till she grabbed ahold of my necklace and pulled me so near the scanner belt was stalling out from the friction. Then she started licking on my face…Anyway thank you Wal-Mart, Virginia Slims, Awesome Wolf Shirt, odd dreams and Reverend Long!
The proceding was a based on a true story…well mostly. Remember I used to be a health inspector like Larry the Cable guy...
Now here is my song…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl8PWKdWq78
Bird Dog
Jason is a joker (he’s a bird)
A very funny joker (he’s a bird)
But when he jokes my honey (he’s a dog)
His jokin’ ain’t so funny (what a dog)
Jason is a joker that’s a’tryin’ to steal my baby (he’s a bird dog)
Hey, bird dog get away from my quail
Hey, bird dog you’re on the wrong trail
Bird dog you better leave my lovey-dove alone
Hey, bird dog get away from my chick
Hey, bird dog you better get away quick
Bird dog you better find a chicken little of your own
Jason sings a love song (like a bird)
He sings the sweetest love song (ya ever heard)
But when he sings to my gal (what a howl)
To me he’s just a wolf dog (on the prowl)
Jason wants to fly away and puppy-love my baby (he’s a bird dog)
Hey, bird dog get away from my quail
Hey, bird dog you’re on the wrong trail
Bird dog you better leave my lovey-dove alone
Hey, bird dog get away from my chick
Hey, bird dog you better get away quick
Bird dog you better find a chicken little of your own
Jason kissed the teacher (he’s a bird)
He tiptoed up to reach her (he’s a bird)
Well he’s the teacher’s pet now (he’s a dog)
What he wants he can get now (what a dog)
He even made the teacher let him sit next to my baby (he’s a bird dog)
Hey, bird dog get away from my quail
Hey, bird dog you’re on the wrong trail
Bird dog you better leave my lovey-dove alone
Hey, bird dog get away from my chick
Hey, bird dog you better get away quick
Bird dog you better find a chicken little of your own
Hope you all have a Happy Howloween if I don't get back on here before then and as always if I can help anybody out just raise your paw. I went to the highest point in AL yesterday and the leaves are about in full color but the trees in the valley like a few frosts. I had 2 dates this weekend that ask me out but nither gal was love at first sight. Still got my eye on the preachers daugther and the girl at the wolf rescue though when the time is right to pounce.
In this game of life of “facing our giants” I may never score if I don’t lower my defense some. With so many on the front line, none have broken the huddle but a few have come close. Maybe one day I will find one that I want to push over the line and she will push back just as hard.