More Saga
Luke came home from a wedding this weekend and wanted to hang out. I thought nothing of it and said of course and went over there. As soon as I got there, there was something different about him.
He gave me this really tight hug and told me he wished I was there. Ok...
Apparently Steve Plude talked to him at the wedding about me. Steve basically told Luke that he was stupid for letting me go. Well, Luke took that to heart and last night told me he didn't want to let this go forever yet, but we can't do anything about it now, as there are policies in place that don't allow us to do anything about it.
So, I sit confused. I can't trust his "good days". He had another breakdown today, punching a file cabinet, causing his hand to bleed. This comes only a day after he told me that he has been really good. Yes, a part of me still loves him dearly, but the logical part of me screams "NO!" My parents don't want me with him, my roommates don't want me with him. Should I finally just listen? It is so hard when my heart wants one thing. I have to focus on my future. My plans to go to grad school are so important to me. I need to leave Minnesota for a while.
I can't stay here for him, and he isn't going anywhere. He loves Duluth and will stay here.
I don't see an end this saga any time soon. I am doing well. I am not making it the focus of my life. I have so much going on and so many great friends. I continue living and this is just another chapter. OY.
He gave me this really tight hug and told me he wished I was there. Ok...
Apparently Steve Plude talked to him at the wedding about me. Steve basically told Luke that he was stupid for letting me go. Well, Luke took that to heart and last night told me he didn't want to let this go forever yet, but we can't do anything about it now, as there are policies in place that don't allow us to do anything about it.
So, I sit confused. I can't trust his "good days". He had another breakdown today, punching a file cabinet, causing his hand to bleed. This comes only a day after he told me that he has been really good. Yes, a part of me still loves him dearly, but the logical part of me screams "NO!" My parents don't want me with him, my roommates don't want me with him. Should I finally just listen? It is so hard when my heart wants one thing. I have to focus on my future. My plans to go to grad school are so important to me. I need to leave Minnesota for a while.
I can't stay here for him, and he isn't going anywhere. He loves Duluth and will stay here.
I don't see an end this saga any time soon. I am doing well. I am not making it the focus of my life. I have so much going on and so many great friends. I continue living and this is just another chapter. OY.