(Untitled)

[historia78]

I wish I could come up for air. I feel like I can't breathe. And so starts a new week. I put my smile on and remember how lucky I am and try to be happy. It's all just a show though. I fake it well.

Comments

Hang in There

[anonymous]

Sounds like you'll just have to tough it out. At least once this is all over hopefully you'll be a Dr with potentially a huge paycheck and tenure. Then you can feel super secure, get a ranch house/log cabbin, and all that stuff. When you were in high school did you dream of becoming highly educated and doing studies in another state?

You seemed pretty tough as nails and focused when I first met you. Do you still feel as focused?

Re: Hang in There

[historia78]

I sadly am def. not the same person that I used to be in the "tough as nails" category. Sadly. I do still feel focused when I really dig in and get into my work. I think a lot of my problems might come from time management, motivation, and a lack of a clear schedule. I usually do things better when I have a clear schedule. I am also WAY more stressed here than I was back then. I'm graying already and sometimes, like today, when I get home and plan to get all this work done, its like someone just hit me over the head or something and I pass out, literally. I got home today around 5:20 and just woke up about twenty minutes ago. I slept for basically 5 hours and it was a deeepppp sleep because I was completely out of it which tells me that I really needed it. I wish I could feel this refreshed from my normal sleep