I wish I could come up for air. I feel like I can't breathe. And so starts a new week. I put my smile on and remember how lucky I am and try to be happy. It's all just a show though. I fake it well.
Re: Hang in Therehistoria78November 3 2009, 05:50:42 UTC
I sadly am def. not the same person that I used to be in the "tough as nails" category. Sadly. I do still feel focused when I really dig in and get into my work. I think a lot of my problems might come from time management, motivation, and a lack of a clear schedule. I usually do things better when I have a clear schedule. I am also WAY more stressed here than I was back then. I'm graying already and sometimes, like today, when I get home and plan to get all this work done, its like someone just hit me over the head or something and I pass out, literally. I got home today around 5:20 and just woke up about twenty minutes ago. I slept for basically 5 hours and it was a deeepppp sleep because I was completely out of it which tells me that I really needed it. I wish I could feel this refreshed from my normal sleep.
When I was in high school, I just dreamed of not being in high school. I always wanted to be a traveler and adventurer. I never had any real fear then. I think its because I was tougher and used to being alone and thinking just about myself and what I wanted to do. I was kinda that way freashmen year of college as well. Then somehow along the way I got really attached to things and people at Central and started freaking out about changes, like moving out of the dorms, doing my masters, being single, etc. I'm not quite sure why I changed and became so weak in many respects.
At least I comfort myself with the fact that I haven't been completely immobilized by my issues and I hide them pretty well for the most part. I still moved out here and have stayed out here despite my hesitations and struggle with it. I haven't let my fear get the best of me yet.
When I was in high school, I just dreamed of not being in high school. I always wanted to be a traveler and adventurer. I never had any real fear then. I think its because I was tougher and used to being alone and thinking just about myself and what I wanted to do. I was kinda that way freashmen year of college as well. Then somehow along the way I got really attached to things and people at Central and started freaking out about changes, like moving out of the dorms, doing my masters, being single, etc. I'm not quite sure why I changed and became so weak in many respects.
At least I comfort myself with the fact that I haven't been completely immobilized by my issues and I hide them pretty well for the most part. I still moved out here and have stayed out here despite my hesitations and struggle with it. I haven't let my fear get the best of me yet.
Yeah I'm still focused. I'm just exhausted.
Reply
Leave a comment