Opinions Needed!
So, I've decided to challenge this year's NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month for those of you who've never heard of it). I started on my novel on time, but after looking at it, I don't think it's any good. Before I decide to scrap it or keep working with it, I wanted more opinions. So, would you please tell me what you think?
Haru Haru
Min Jee laughed as the warm, soapy water splashed halfway up her legs. She and her twin, Min Ho, were washing their clothes outside while the weather stayed decent. Although they lived a great deal of distance away, they attended high school in the city. Every day they would wake up and ride their identical bicycles to school. Min Jee had been born first, Min Ho coming along a few minutes afterwards, completely stunning their parents.
“Min Ho, will you ask Dad if he needs his business suits washed?” Min Jee asked, continuing to step on the clothes beneath the bubbly surface.
“I will, but only because you’re already in the tub. If I were in, too, you’d be asking him,” Min Ho replied, trying to sound annoyed. He knew he had failed at it since he allowed a smile onto his face. Dropping the water hose onto the ground, he jogged back to their average sized home. It had a small wooden deck that he helped his dad build and a wrought iron railing lining the porch. He hurried inside and to his dad’s home office, knocking once before entering.
“What do you need, Min Ho?” his dad, Min-Ki, asked. He had his eyes glued to spreadsheets scattered all over his mahogany desk. He peered up over the rim of his glasses when his son hadn’t answered.
“Dad, do you want Min Jee and me to wash your suits while we’re washing everything else?” Min Ho’s fingers slid across the back of the leather chair he was standing behind.
“No, I’ll send them for dry-cleaning.” Waving his hand in a shooing manner, Min-Ki returned his attention to his papers. “Go finish your chores before your mother gets supper finished.”
Frowning at his dad’s lack of interest, he turned to leave, his eyes dropping to the floor. Walking away, he heard his dad’s business phone ring. Restraining himself from glaring back at his dad, he shuffled toward the front door. Looking up, his eyes met with Min Jee’s, her blinding smile causing him to about-face and rush up the stairs. He buried his face in his pillow, wanting to disappear. Hearing footsteps on the stairs, he turned his head in the opposite direction.
“Min Ho, what’s wrong?” Min Jee’s voice traveled over to him from her place at the door.
“Dad hates me, sis. For some reason, he’s hated me since birth.”
Moving to sit beside him, Min Jee patted his back. “He doesn’t hate you. He just doesn’t express his feelings well.” Placing her head on the center of his back, she smiled. Her way of comforting her little brother never changing over the years. They stayed that way for several minutes, the clock on the wall ticking them away.
“If he has such a hard time showing his feelings, why does he buy you whatever you want and yells at me to get a job?”
Rolling her eyes, she sat up. “I complain more, so he hands me money. You have to pout the right way in order to get what you want.”
Looking up at her, he smiled. “I’d try, but I think me pouting would make him stop giving you money. I’m not as cute as you, sis.”
She laughed, pulling him up with her to stand. “Let’s finish our chores before Mom skins us alive!” Thundering downstairs, Min Jee and Min Ho went back outside, both plunging their feet into the tub. Min Jee squealed as the now cold water seemed to seep into her bones.
“How did you stand in this before?” Min Ho clenched his teeth together to keep them from chattering.
“It wasn’t this cold before. We should add some warm water to it before we get frostbite.” Grabbing the water hose, she dunked it into the wooden tub as she stepped out to turn the warm water on. “What exams do we have coming up?”
Scrunching his face up in thought, Min Ho shrugged. “I don’t know. You’re the smart one. Didn’t you write it down somewhere so we could study?”
“No, I didn’t write it down. You can’t reply on me all the time. What’s going to happen when one of us moves away to go to college elsewhere? We can’t be together forever?”
Min Ho stilled. He knew she was right. Min Jee was always right. He stepped over the edge of the tub, wiping his feet dry on a fluffy towel. He strode over to their porch and sat down. Staring at the sun setting on yet another day, he exhaled in a big huff. He didn’t like it when the sun went down. He felt bad omens as if something were to happen during the night. It was exactly opposite his sister. She thrived during the night. She was always hyper and energized as if she were born under the moon.
Continuing to stare out into the horizon, he zoned out, thinking of back to when he felt as though he belonged there. Ever since he could remember, Min Ho felt as if this wasn’t meant to be his family, as if he were meant to be someone else’s son. His eyebrows knitted together as he thought of what he could have done to make his dad hate him so much, but nothing ever surfaced. He sighed, standing to go inside.
“Min Jee, can you finish everything? I don’t feel too well,” he murmured. Without waiting for a response, he went inside and back up to his room. Sitting on his bed, he pulled his pillow into his lap, trying to think back on everything they’ve done as a family. The memories seemed dark to him. He remembered being cast aside while Min Jee was in the spotlight of their parents’ love. Sure, they never showed loving her more than him, but he noticed their mom placing extra food items in Min Jee’s lunches or even giving her more money on their birthdays.
Outside, Min Jee gazed up at her brother’s window. She wished she could show him how much he meant to her. Although most families showed know signs of affection in their culture, she and Min Ho always tried to portray otherwise. They were twins, but it seemed as if they were polar opposites. Min Ho wasn’t the least bit outgoing while others flocked to her; he had no athletic abilities, yet she was on the school’s girls’ sports teams. Turning to finish washing their clothes, she smiled as an idea came to mind on how to cheer Min Ho up. Rushing to finish, she carried their dripping clothes to their clothesline, tossing them over one by one and fastening them down with pins.
Whistling to herself, Min Jee skipped to the porch and through the front door. She was skipping passed her dad’s office when she heard him on the phone, arguing with someone he addressed as Boss Kim. Pressing her ear to the door, she overheard him yelling into his phone.
“I cannot keep this up,” Min-Ki stated. “If you want it, them come get it. It’s only causing me trouble and I don’t even want it. I have the one I want. You said when you fell ill you’d need it. Just take it already!” She held her breath as her dad paused to listen to whoever Boss Kim was. She bit her lip, trying to move closer to the door. “Boss Kim, I understand. Yes, I apologize.”
Min Jee thought her dad’s voice sounded defeated, as if he had lost some sort of gamble and had to forfeit his hold on his company. Maybe that’s what this is about, Min Jee thought to herself as Min-Ki’s company came to mind. Her dad loved his company more than his family. Feeling a tap on her shoulder, she stood up and turned, seeing her mom behind her. Mi Cha’s arms were folded over her chest and she gave her daughter that all too knowing stare that made Min Jee squirm.
“What do you think you are doing, young lady?” her mom asked, her eyes narrowing into a more intimidating fashion.
“N-nothing, Mom,” Min Jee replied, looking everywhere but at her mom. She wanted to run to her room, but she knew that would make her seem guilty of something. Instead, she perked up upon remembering why she had come inside. “Mom, can Min Ho and I go to the movies this weekend? I can pay for us myself since I’ve been saving up money.”
“What about studying for your upcoming exams? And then you have your practice entrance exams for university. I don’t think you’ll be able to this weekend, dear.”
“But, Mom, we can study the rest of this week and I’m only in my second year. I still have my third year before I need to worry about university entrance exams. Please, Mom?” Knowing how much her mom hated it, Min Jee pouted. He bottom lip jutted out while she glanced up through her bangs. She kept her fingers crossed behind her back, willing her mom to say yes.
Sighing with a smile, Mi Cha nodded. “You can go, but only after you’ve studied. When you take your exam next week, I want to know what you scored. If it isn’t up to my standards, you won’t be going anywhere for a long while. Understand?”
“I understand. Thanks, Mom!” Min Jee rushed up to her room, sitting down in front of her computer and bringing up a web browser. Smiling, she tapped out the cinema name into the search bar and clicked the “Go” button. “Min Ho likes action movies, so I’ll see what’s playing and reserve two tickets.” Humming her favorite tune, she decided on the war movie that had been released a while ago. It had been out for months, but she nor Min Ho had time to see it. Clicking to reserve her tickets, she smirked in sweet victory upon the transaction.
That's all I've come up with so far. Again, please help me decide if I should scrap this or keep going. >.< Thanks, dears~! <33
Haru Haru
Min Jee laughed as the warm, soapy water splashed halfway up her legs. She and her twin, Min Ho, were washing their clothes outside while the weather stayed decent. Although they lived a great deal of distance away, they attended high school in the city. Every day they would wake up and ride their identical bicycles to school. Min Jee had been born first, Min Ho coming along a few minutes afterwards, completely stunning their parents.
“Min Ho, will you ask Dad if he needs his business suits washed?” Min Jee asked, continuing to step on the clothes beneath the bubbly surface.
“I will, but only because you’re already in the tub. If I were in, too, you’d be asking him,” Min Ho replied, trying to sound annoyed. He knew he had failed at it since he allowed a smile onto his face. Dropping the water hose onto the ground, he jogged back to their average sized home. It had a small wooden deck that he helped his dad build and a wrought iron railing lining the porch. He hurried inside and to his dad’s home office, knocking once before entering.
“What do you need, Min Ho?” his dad, Min-Ki, asked. He had his eyes glued to spreadsheets scattered all over his mahogany desk. He peered up over the rim of his glasses when his son hadn’t answered.
“Dad, do you want Min Jee and me to wash your suits while we’re washing everything else?” Min Ho’s fingers slid across the back of the leather chair he was standing behind.
“No, I’ll send them for dry-cleaning.” Waving his hand in a shooing manner, Min-Ki returned his attention to his papers. “Go finish your chores before your mother gets supper finished.”
Frowning at his dad’s lack of interest, he turned to leave, his eyes dropping to the floor. Walking away, he heard his dad’s business phone ring. Restraining himself from glaring back at his dad, he shuffled toward the front door. Looking up, his eyes met with Min Jee’s, her blinding smile causing him to about-face and rush up the stairs. He buried his face in his pillow, wanting to disappear. Hearing footsteps on the stairs, he turned his head in the opposite direction.
“Min Ho, what’s wrong?” Min Jee’s voice traveled over to him from her place at the door.
“Dad hates me, sis. For some reason, he’s hated me since birth.”
Moving to sit beside him, Min Jee patted his back. “He doesn’t hate you. He just doesn’t express his feelings well.” Placing her head on the center of his back, she smiled. Her way of comforting her little brother never changing over the years. They stayed that way for several minutes, the clock on the wall ticking them away.
“If he has such a hard time showing his feelings, why does he buy you whatever you want and yells at me to get a job?”
Rolling her eyes, she sat up. “I complain more, so he hands me money. You have to pout the right way in order to get what you want.”
Looking up at her, he smiled. “I’d try, but I think me pouting would make him stop giving you money. I’m not as cute as you, sis.”
She laughed, pulling him up with her to stand. “Let’s finish our chores before Mom skins us alive!” Thundering downstairs, Min Jee and Min Ho went back outside, both plunging their feet into the tub. Min Jee squealed as the now cold water seemed to seep into her bones.
“How did you stand in this before?” Min Ho clenched his teeth together to keep them from chattering.
“It wasn’t this cold before. We should add some warm water to it before we get frostbite.” Grabbing the water hose, she dunked it into the wooden tub as she stepped out to turn the warm water on. “What exams do we have coming up?”
Scrunching his face up in thought, Min Ho shrugged. “I don’t know. You’re the smart one. Didn’t you write it down somewhere so we could study?”
“No, I didn’t write it down. You can’t reply on me all the time. What’s going to happen when one of us moves away to go to college elsewhere? We can’t be together forever?”
Min Ho stilled. He knew she was right. Min Jee was always right. He stepped over the edge of the tub, wiping his feet dry on a fluffy towel. He strode over to their porch and sat down. Staring at the sun setting on yet another day, he exhaled in a big huff. He didn’t like it when the sun went down. He felt bad omens as if something were to happen during the night. It was exactly opposite his sister. She thrived during the night. She was always hyper and energized as if she were born under the moon.
Continuing to stare out into the horizon, he zoned out, thinking of back to when he felt as though he belonged there. Ever since he could remember, Min Ho felt as if this wasn’t meant to be his family, as if he were meant to be someone else’s son. His eyebrows knitted together as he thought of what he could have done to make his dad hate him so much, but nothing ever surfaced. He sighed, standing to go inside.
“Min Jee, can you finish everything? I don’t feel too well,” he murmured. Without waiting for a response, he went inside and back up to his room. Sitting on his bed, he pulled his pillow into his lap, trying to think back on everything they’ve done as a family. The memories seemed dark to him. He remembered being cast aside while Min Jee was in the spotlight of their parents’ love. Sure, they never showed loving her more than him, but he noticed their mom placing extra food items in Min Jee’s lunches or even giving her more money on their birthdays.
Outside, Min Jee gazed up at her brother’s window. She wished she could show him how much he meant to her. Although most families showed know signs of affection in their culture, she and Min Ho always tried to portray otherwise. They were twins, but it seemed as if they were polar opposites. Min Ho wasn’t the least bit outgoing while others flocked to her; he had no athletic abilities, yet she was on the school’s girls’ sports teams. Turning to finish washing their clothes, she smiled as an idea came to mind on how to cheer Min Ho up. Rushing to finish, she carried their dripping clothes to their clothesline, tossing them over one by one and fastening them down with pins.
Whistling to herself, Min Jee skipped to the porch and through the front door. She was skipping passed her dad’s office when she heard him on the phone, arguing with someone he addressed as Boss Kim. Pressing her ear to the door, she overheard him yelling into his phone.
“I cannot keep this up,” Min-Ki stated. “If you want it, them come get it. It’s only causing me trouble and I don’t even want it. I have the one I want. You said when you fell ill you’d need it. Just take it already!” She held her breath as her dad paused to listen to whoever Boss Kim was. She bit her lip, trying to move closer to the door. “Boss Kim, I understand. Yes, I apologize.”
Min Jee thought her dad’s voice sounded defeated, as if he had lost some sort of gamble and had to forfeit his hold on his company. Maybe that’s what this is about, Min Jee thought to herself as Min-Ki’s company came to mind. Her dad loved his company more than his family. Feeling a tap on her shoulder, she stood up and turned, seeing her mom behind her. Mi Cha’s arms were folded over her chest and she gave her daughter that all too knowing stare that made Min Jee squirm.
“What do you think you are doing, young lady?” her mom asked, her eyes narrowing into a more intimidating fashion.
“N-nothing, Mom,” Min Jee replied, looking everywhere but at her mom. She wanted to run to her room, but she knew that would make her seem guilty of something. Instead, she perked up upon remembering why she had come inside. “Mom, can Min Ho and I go to the movies this weekend? I can pay for us myself since I’ve been saving up money.”
“What about studying for your upcoming exams? And then you have your practice entrance exams for university. I don’t think you’ll be able to this weekend, dear.”
“But, Mom, we can study the rest of this week and I’m only in my second year. I still have my third year before I need to worry about university entrance exams. Please, Mom?” Knowing how much her mom hated it, Min Jee pouted. He bottom lip jutted out while she glanced up through her bangs. She kept her fingers crossed behind her back, willing her mom to say yes.
Sighing with a smile, Mi Cha nodded. “You can go, but only after you’ve studied. When you take your exam next week, I want to know what you scored. If it isn’t up to my standards, you won’t be going anywhere for a long while. Understand?”
“I understand. Thanks, Mom!” Min Jee rushed up to her room, sitting down in front of her computer and bringing up a web browser. Smiling, she tapped out the cinema name into the search bar and clicked the “Go” button. “Min Ho likes action movies, so I’ll see what’s playing and reserve two tickets.” Humming her favorite tune, she decided on the war movie that had been released a while ago. It had been out for months, but she nor Min Ho had time to see it. Clicking to reserve her tickets, she smirked in sweet victory upon the transaction.
That's all I've come up with so far. Again, please help me decide if I should scrap this or keep going. >.< Thanks, dears~! <33