Cor. Uncle Nic.

(That's CDoctorow's version. I have also heard '... is an extra' and 'is window-dressing')

Outside bog, but inside shed.

Are there stairs in your house?

Getting to the bike-path's a bit of a bugger, mind.

(Which was before people started taking it seriously, which was before it became a parody)

Falling asleep in a drunken heap in the damp(er) corner of Uncle Nic's front room. Somewhere there's a picture of the aftermath (taken by Steve&Abigail, IIRC) and it's not pretty.