This bus-charming man
Years and years ago, uk_jon and I came up with the cod-philosophical concept of 'Smoking a cigarette to make the bus come'. As might be obvious, we seemed to be spending rather too much useful drinking time hanging around near windswept Cheltenham bus-stops in the depths of winter, waiting for the sodding bus to turn up. And like as not sail past since it was a small bus[1] and already full.
The concept is pretty simple: spark up a tab and the bus will hove into view. However, if you spark up on purpose then the Bus Gods will know and the damn vehicle will not arrive. Thus you have to cultivate a level of knowing unknowingness in order to perform successful bus-charming.[2] Given the state of the beer and other things we were consuming, it wasn't that hard.
It also works with computers and (apparently) central heating boilers.
[1] There was a point in the mid eighties when the corporation decided that the poor people weren't getting to their shop-assistanting, waitressing and cleaning jobs fast enough, thus preventing the rich people from spending money and giving a bad impression of Cheltenham. Since they all lived on twisty little estates that proper buses couldn't get around, the corporation bought a set of jumped-up minibuses and used those instead. They seemed to be called 'hoppas' or 'shoppas' or something equally crap.
[2] Mentioning 'the game' is likely not a good idea.
The concept is pretty simple: spark up a tab and the bus will hove into view. However, if you spark up on purpose then the Bus Gods will know and the damn vehicle will not arrive. Thus you have to cultivate a level of knowing unknowingness in order to perform successful bus-charming.[2] Given the state of the beer and other things we were consuming, it wasn't that hard.
It also works with computers and (apparently) central heating boilers.
[1] There was a point in the mid eighties when the corporation decided that the poor people weren't getting to their shop-assistanting, waitressing and cleaning jobs fast enough, thus preventing the rich people from spending money and giving a bad impression of Cheltenham. Since they all lived on twisty little estates that proper buses couldn't get around, the corporation bought a set of jumped-up minibuses and used those instead. They seemed to be called 'hoppas' or 'shoppas' or something equally crap.
[2] Mentioning 'the game' is likely not a good idea.