ive got pms, bitch.
yeah... so this afternoon, or tonight, really, i kinda did a huge shitjob parking when i got to dance, i was on a huge angle, even after backing up like twice, and then on the way home, when i was pulling out, i hit abbie. isnt that great? and i checked behind me and everything!! and its all because those damn windows fog up. defrost does NOTHING!!!! it was horrible. i heard this thud, and all i could think was, oh shit, miss anns gonna kill me, which dancer did i hit?? and then when me and mom were looking at it, everyone came over, and were all looking at the bumpers and everything, and i was just like, shoot me. shoot me fucking now. and abbie was just like, oh dont worry, its just a plastic bumper, its a pos car!! and im kinda like, yeah, ohkay, will you shoot me? so when we got back in the car, everyone was like, omg, youre gonna let her drive? and my mom was like, im not driving!! haha. so then everyone waited for me to pull out, and all i could think was, yeah, get in my way now, will ya??? and so i was psycho driver all the way home, and on the street we live on were these two cars all parked right in the fucking middle of the street, and my mom was bitching at me about making 'wide turns' whatever, and all could think was get the hell out of my way or ill hit you too. and i bitched at my mom about kyle doing all the same things as i want to do, like north carolina, and then busch gardens, and god, sometimes i want to kill all the people who are even vaguely like me, and i really dont want him to have anything to do with what i want to do!! were seperate people!! and even if we werent, i would still want to have my stuff that i do, and his stuff that he does! god. why does he have to go to north carolina?? that was my thing!! i got accepted!! im fucking going!! and then someone has to go fucking tell mr barrack, and he has the nerve to tell me that i will chicken out on going?? what the hell does he know about me?? all he does is tell me how to sing and i fucking do it because he knows! but if he tries to tell me about dance, and my life, and what im gonna do and what im not ive got a fucking problem with that! and then i get tired of my mom telling me i have to go audition for kings dominion, so i decide im going to busch gardens instead this summer, and shes like, you know its a lot farther, and im like, you know, its a hell of a lot nicer place, theyll pay me more, and i might be able to actually get my own car, not that it matters now, but why does he have to follow me everywhere i decide to go? why does she have to talk about him all the time. 'oh but if you both get a job there then ill feel better about you being there.' and god. she says he has to drive me. god. why? why?????? guys + cars = suggestiveness!!! guys i really like and try to ignore but who everything seems to keep pointing at + his really hot car = god i want to cry!!!!
why cant you shoot me?? if there were a god, and if he created all this shit thats happening to me right now, then i think ive about had it. give me a good time while im here, let me make my fucking choices and live my life the way i think is right. ive got more sense than to go with the flow, follow the norm. this stupid fucking bigot built world is still following the stupid stupid stupid stupid paths set out for it centuries ago by the stupid stupid stupid stupid bigot christian men who just wanted an easy way to make everything stay the way they wanted it for a really long time.
do you ever watch designing women on oxygen? well, when i get in moods like this, i fancy myself to be julia sugarbaker when she goes on one of her rants. my mom loves her rants. i do too. she os one of the most well educated, eloquent, intelligent southern women, or any woman that anyone has ever concocted, and i try to emulate her. i try to be eloquent, and passionate and knowledgeable, but sometimes, sometimes, i just want to fucking pull a gun and shoot someone.
im really not a mindless, hot headed, bitchy female. i just get the urge to... break things. which, i suppose is just about normal for a sixteen year old, but i feel like i take the breaking things urge to a new level. a new level where i will come from nowhere and fucking kick your ass if you cross me.
why cant you shoot me?? if there were a god, and if he created all this shit thats happening to me right now, then i think ive about had it. give me a good time while im here, let me make my fucking choices and live my life the way i think is right. ive got more sense than to go with the flow, follow the norm. this stupid fucking bigot built world is still following the stupid stupid stupid stupid paths set out for it centuries ago by the stupid stupid stupid stupid bigot christian men who just wanted an easy way to make everything stay the way they wanted it for a really long time.
do you ever watch designing women on oxygen? well, when i get in moods like this, i fancy myself to be julia sugarbaker when she goes on one of her rants. my mom loves her rants. i do too. she os one of the most well educated, eloquent, intelligent southern women, or any woman that anyone has ever concocted, and i try to emulate her. i try to be eloquent, and passionate and knowledgeable, but sometimes, sometimes, i just want to fucking pull a gun and shoot someone.
im really not a mindless, hot headed, bitchy female. i just get the urge to... break things. which, i suppose is just about normal for a sixteen year old, but i feel like i take the breaking things urge to a new level. a new level where i will come from nowhere and fucking kick your ass if you cross me.