The abridged story of the last 8 months
I've kept this journal alive long after I abandoned it. On several occasions now I've actually spent the money to be able to mass-privatize all my old entries. I don't really know why... its not as though someone is going to actually spend the time to agonize over my hundreds and hundreds of mundane entries. I kept it alive because I like to think that someone out there takes a passing interest in what I'm doing. And sometimes open air is the best audience.
Its been a strange couple of months. I left Boone... there really isn't too much to say about that. I dropped out of school because I had no idea what I was doing with myself. I'm here now, Raleigh, hoping to find anything to put that fire under my ass and make me give a damn about something.
Back on Boone: I've always felt like there was a distance between me and everyone there (that I knew). Anything that I had to say was quickly dismissed, either because the person I was talking to had no idea what I was rambling on about or they were more preoccupied with finding some way to get wasted/laid/high. I tried, I did, but I couldn't relate. The few people that genuinely captured my interest faded into obscurity or left altogether. I feel like an asshole saying this... I don't mean to come across as though my friends were "beneath" me. It just became apparent really early on that most of the people up there were forcing themselves to become what they perceived as adult. Even when I was surrounded with people I felt completely alone.
I wish that I didn't have to drop out. I'm watching so many of my friends go to super amazing awesome grad school or getting super amazing awesome jobs and I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs praying that NC State will let me in to finish my degree.
Actually... that was a pretty pointless post but I sort of lost my train of thought. I'll try again later, possibly?
Its been a strange couple of months. I left Boone... there really isn't too much to say about that. I dropped out of school because I had no idea what I was doing with myself. I'm here now, Raleigh, hoping to find anything to put that fire under my ass and make me give a damn about something.
Back on Boone: I've always felt like there was a distance between me and everyone there (that I knew). Anything that I had to say was quickly dismissed, either because the person I was talking to had no idea what I was rambling on about or they were more preoccupied with finding some way to get wasted/laid/high. I tried, I did, but I couldn't relate. The few people that genuinely captured my interest faded into obscurity or left altogether. I feel like an asshole saying this... I don't mean to come across as though my friends were "beneath" me. It just became apparent really early on that most of the people up there were forcing themselves to become what they perceived as adult. Even when I was surrounded with people I felt completely alone.
I wish that I didn't have to drop out. I'm watching so many of my friends go to super amazing awesome grad school or getting super amazing awesome jobs and I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs praying that NC State will let me in to finish my degree.
Actually... that was a pretty pointless post but I sort of lost my train of thought. I'll try again later, possibly?