some were born to sing the blues
for the Here's What You Missed on Glee challenge at gleeverse
GLEE: PILOT episode review
Ryan Murphy; May 19, 2009
What do you do when you're a Spanish teacher, approaching middle-age and trying to convince yourself that you're happy with the way your life turned out? You keep reminiscing about your glory-days, and try to revive the Glee club forcibly through CPR, that's what. And yes, we all know that CPR is not the magical revival treatment for all patients who are slowly dying. Do I sound somewhat like the tracksuit-wearing, hyperbole-speaking, inexplicably-motivated nemesis of the aforementioned Spanish teacher who talks in long sentences? Well, maybe Sue Sylvester has a point.
Maybe after High School Musical, we're all bored of the plucky underdog story. The sight of a bitchy cheerleader (who also heads the Celibacy Club) is refreshing when her insults are more derogatory and more creative than what you expect of the stereotype.
Yet, as the episode progresses, the usual victim of her wrath, the Heroic Ingénue who overcomes all odds to make her dreams come true... isn't very stereotypical after all. Rachel Berry is no Mary Sue: she's the submerged devil that sits on each of our shoulders, and her appearance promises a destruction of all the other stereotypes as these sophomores audition one-by-one for the Glee club: the Gay Kid, the Ethnic Representation, the Spunky Black Girl, and the Disabled One. By the time the final number rolls around of this episode, you're certain that this is one show that will go a long way to turn these clichés on their head.
The adults, on the other hand, are quirky but with predictable storylines: the unrequited love quadrangle, with the obese football coach, the guidance counsellor terrified of dirt, the Spanish teacher (again), and his hysterical, nonsensical, batshit-crazy wife (who may be one of the best-crafted characters Glee will ever give us.) While the Self-Titled Ingénue's expected romance with the 'Hunky Heroic Male Lead' (who is also, drumroll, the quarterback) has been lampshaded by the Ingénue herself, the show might be awesome enough to subvert this stereotype by itself. On the other hand, the Spanish Teacher's future relationship with the Guidance Counsellor, despite their Obviously Unsuitable Significant Others, is written in the stars. I wonder how creative their obstacles to Eternal Happiness is going to be.
But you know what I really like about this show? How it slips in A-bombs under the radar, and lets them explode.
There's implied sexual harassment of a student (or maybe not really harassment,) there's bold denouncement of contraception, there's getting an innocent (maybe) teacher sacked through lying, there's a teacher threatening to expel an innocent student, and you could buy a felonious amount of marijuana as a sample at your local Sheets N' Things.
And of course, Rachel's hilariously ironic trampling over gay rights, adoption issues, and the way we walk over eggshells when it comes to race.
"I was born out of love. My dads put their sperm in a turkey baster, and mixed it together so we don't know which one is my real dad."
One thing that must be said about this crackerjack pilot to a very promising show is that it's brilliantly plotted. It's all loose ends, and not infuriatingly so, and it creates doubts about all the characters' motivations... doubts that I hope will resurface later and make their journey extremely bumpy.
In a Schuester-driven episode, the tiny niches made by the other characters are equally noteworthy. The Darth Vader of the episode, the soulless, hate-breathing Coach Sylvester is in top form as she bullies her way through life and high school. She makes especially memorable the montage of Schuester running from pillar to post, trying to garner support for his Glee club revival. While the Football Coach wants a favour, and the Guidance Counsellor is won over faster than a fat kid can eat chocolate, Sylvester's Stop Believing attitude to Schuester's enthusiasm is brilliantly ironic. Her reiteration of the high school caste system is the last thing you expect from a teacher, and what's more, she actively tries to keep Her Cheerios on the top, and everyone else down below. Climbing up the social ladder is a mortal sin. Don't get me wrong: I find her attitude incalculably wrong, but there's something hypnotically compelling about her conviction that makes me immediately want to give her a thumbs-up.
So when you have a brilliantly written episode where even the unsavoury aspects are grudgingly respected in retrospect, it's difficult to point a finger at what I don't like. The flip-side to Rachel's self-awareness is the ugliness of it that her teacher tries to appease, rather than redirect. When she storms out of a disastrous rehearsal of Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat, Schuester is frank with her, and admits that yes, she is the most talented, but everyone needs to be given a chance. This is the kind of frankness a teacher should express to his fellow teachers, not his student. What he does next is blackmail the football quarterback so that the Talented Ingénue stays in the Glee club. Making sure the club is intact enough to go to Regionals seems to take priority over the psychological well-being and adjustment of his students. I love this sort of callousness in Creepy Sandy Ryerson, but not in a character who professes to have his students' best interests at heart. The results are entertaining, but morally more black, and less grey.
In trying to avoid the pitfalls and comparisons with High School Musical, the characters don't spontaneously break out in song, and converse through lyrics. This is a singing show, but the music is enough of a novelty so that it doesn't alienate the rest of their audience. That said, the bar is already set pretty high for the numbers that the cast remasters.
From all these angles, I would be one of those people giving Vocal Adrenaline's Rehab a standing ovation. The stage is set for them: the rival Glee club is expected to win competitions through trickery and cheating, as opposed to talent (hilariously prefaced by Mr. Schuester) and obviously can't compete against the Ingénue. Their rendition of Rehab was good, but still sounds nothing like the Winehouse original, and lacks the passion (not energy) of New Directions' Don't Stop Believing. But if we're talking about musical performances, the bar that they set blew through the roof. I assure you that the triple backflips did not prejudice my opinion... not unduly, anyway.
You know what the counter to this one was? The montage of audition songs. The whole purpose of it seemed to be to establish that Everyone But the Heroine Sucks, Only She's the Most Gifted Performer That They Have. Don't get me wrong: Rachel's rendition of On My Own is a perfect fit for her voice and raging Eponine complex, but I would have appreciated it a lot more if she proved herself the best among a whole range of unexpectedly talented voices. Instead of a ridiculous Mr. Cellophane that seems to fit the character but has none of the original pathos of the song, I Kissed a Girl sung with a hiccup (and a Katy Perry-esque thigh-slap?), and a Spunky Black Respect. It's a clever way to showcase the misfit nature of all four audtioners (Wheels never shows up to audition, but he's in the club nonetheless), but I would have preferred creativity over the Shining Pearl In an Ocean of Muck Approach.
"Oh, hell to the no! Look, I'm not down with this background singin' nonsense. I'm Beyoncé, I ain't no Kelly Rowland."
Also, another point to be made in this context, is You're the One That I Want. Agreeably done, with a brilliant opening as the Ingénue realises that her not-so-useless-after-all teacher has procured a singer who can keep up with her, after all, and bodily shoves aside everyone else in her eagerness to get to said Hero. The Hero's deer-in-the-headlights panicked expression is the perfect foil. On the other hand, Rachel's reaction must be because of how attractive she finds Finn, as opposed to his voice, because while he's touted as the perfect complement, something is lacking in their duets. As good as he is, the Ingénue is the more polished and trained vocalist, making their duets distinctly uneven, and no amount of excessive praise of Finn's voice will make that go away.
