very weird

[hindenburg]

i thought at first this new year had been sucking..... boy i was so wrong. remember how ive been a lonley man for a good year and a half if not more.... well all bad things must come to an end. doesnt mean they wont come back but i never thought i could see myself so happy down here or even anywhere. well the new year started with my sister in law so sick she could have died. i got stuck at my in-laws place to watch the ball drop and couldnt even have a glass of champagne but i was okay with some Corona's. almost right after the ball dropped my brother let me go home and he would stay with is sick wife. i felt like shit almost ready to cry but i reminded myself the night was not yet over. i made it home without being harrassed by the cops which is great and picked up some big bottle corona's to celebrate the new year or how wonderful it had been already. well im sure if you look into my last post you will see that i had talked a bit about someone i'd met but i hadn't heard from for a long time. i wanted to keep myself open enough that if things didnt work out right that i didnt just pass everything up like i always do. well i got a girls number from my brothers apartments which now i dont know if that was a good idea or not but whatever its been entertaining otherwise, but i wanted to probe a bit at this young girl i talked some about to see if she would respond to any of my comments sent via friend. thought to myself what would the perfect thing to say be? "did i scare her away? does she hate me?" chuckle.... more the less some ammo i knew would be used as i also told her friend to say hi to her for me. well i went back to the coffee shop the next day and the friend came out to clean the tables like she never does and told me she says hi back.... and that she wanted me to have her number. wow i didnt know it would work like that, i just thought she may be a little more motivated to go to the coffee shop in the hopes of us seeing each other. well i took the number of course it would have been terrible if i hadn't. Zach and I did our regular run of bullshit just to waste time and eventually came back to the coffee shop to check the spot. it was nearing nine o'clock at night and wanted to go out to eat before he had to go home. well as we go to drive accross the street to eat at Chilli's i notice two honda's roll up. i recalled that she drove a black civic as she told me but i saw a green civic and a black accord. well sure enough as im stuck in traffic she is getting out of the civic. so i cought up to Zach in the Chilli's parking lot and let him know so we headed back. well she never got a drink or anything but i did notice her sitting all by herself. i felt kinda stupid but had a plan. she was looking at her phone and i decided to hit the new digits. she had no clue who it was at first until i told her. she seemed to be very excited to hear from me and from what i saw she started looking around before i played the whole im here too game. thats where things became interesting. we headed inside since we were all freezing outside and sat down to talk a bit. she ended up being late to get home which didnt help her much but we made plans to meet the next day at 1pm. we met up yet again but stayed together until 6ish that night. i cant explain how much fun i'd had spending time with her. for some strange reason people cant grasp the concept of being close friends but no sex. men i do admit look for that one thing usually but im not quite all men. im looking to fill this empty spot thats been there quite some time now. she may be 17 for a few more months but im not looking for sex. im looking for someone who deserves the attention, the time just everything. anyway.... we've been hanging out quite a bit and today was one heck of a special day. im not sure what we did makes the point of being in a relationship or not but i could only think it does and we seem to have this weird effect on eachother that just her hugging me put me on cloud nine. we did end up kissing... no details thank you but more plans to see each other today. everything just seems to be falling into place now. something that never quite happened before, at least not this perfect. i dont recall ever being really this happy. this is just enough to keep me from moving back. there is something here i dont want to give up. i sometimes sit and want to fast forward time just to see how things work out, others just to see here again, but i can be patient good comes to those who wait i guess. so far things i really dont think could get any better. she just rocks my world. someone in my eyes that has just destroyed the image of my number one crush of all time. this one is like the hope diamond, its one hell of a find and i wouldnt give it up for the world. as of course if i care which i do in a crazy way i write poems. enjoy as i did writing them and reading them. i love you all much and please guys best wishes best of luck.

One Oddly Happy,
Chris Goyra

something happened to me today
something that just made my day
i saw someone who makes me smile
someone who drives me wild
she is so perfect i can see
i prayed to god bring her to me
with a smile she sets a blaze
sends my mind into this endless maze
i cant explain how this works
all i know is she makes me see fireworks
all i can do now is pray things stay this way
for her i hope to see everyday

thought things would get worse
boy i was wrong
here is the end to the curse
with listening to this song
she makes me feel like ive never felt before
when i think its over it comes once more
i could write forever on how i feel
sometimes i dont think this could be real
i look into her eyes and i am totaly lost
i thank god everyday our paths have crossed
people like her make life worth living
god got me to start believing
i changed my mind i dont want to move
for this one person i love to prove
i am faithful, honest and sweet
this pain inside i will defeat
all i can say now is i love you and cry
please little girl never say good-bye

so much in common yet so far apart
oh girl you stole my heart
battered and beaten i have cried
one foot in front of the other we collide
i could have not asked for more
this is one i really adore
i watch every step to make things right
think inside to never fight
you are so sweet and oh so wonderful
with this i ask will you be my girl

tonight when we kissed
you are one i always missed
im so happy you are here with me
making things they would never be
make my day with one beautiful face
just your smile makes my heart race
you dont know what you've done to me
you dont know you set my soul free
i feel like i can do anything in the world
all of this comming from one special girl
you need to understand i care more then you know
i just never want to see you go
i thought i knew what love was like
i never knew i could feel how i did tonight
you deserve the world and so much more
all this to the girl i so adore

when i wake up i think of you
i dont even know what to do
i want to call but you're busy
i think to myself do you miss me
i miss how you can make my day disapear
i miss how you remove my deepest fears
you bring me back to one single being
i try so hard to explain this feeling
its stuck in my head im going insane
just thinking of when i get to see you again
im sure you would freak if you read all of this
just remember im just regular old chris
im crazy for you like crazy in love
i prayed for you and you came from above
im just not used to everything being so right
thank you melinda for being so right