Snap!

[hindenburg]

this is sick shitz. things cant go right but i dont give a shit. thats great because it usually brings me down. the only thing that brought up my spirits was a email i got which very well may have been bullshit but i guess www.poetry.com selected my poem i posted for review from them in the top poems list of 2004. they told me that there are only 200 people in that category out of 5.1 million users of the site. some people told me to try it out but i always ignored them till i got a stupid add when i was signing up for shit so i could get other free shit. i posted a poem that took me about a minute to type out. they told me to post yet another poem which will be 24 lines long this time around and see how that one compares to my old one and all the rest. they told me though one way or another my poem will be in the 2004 issue of number #1 poems of the year. what a surprise, but i know not to trust or believe them. few people know probably what i wrote about but not many. im not ashamed anymore for the shit that has gone wrong in my life. hiding it doesnt help any and telling people doesnt either. if you read it or know it thats fine, dont give me any shit that happened to anyone else, life sucks for everyone. it could be just one simple slap to death as a child. doesnt matter, everyone experiences pain. even idiots trying to act cool and tell everyone "i dont feel pain" which is bullshit. if you know how to deal with it thats one thing, but not feeling it at all is total and complete utter bullshit. anyway no point in preaching about that shit. just got to work 6 hr strait day of no break. wow what a wonderful day off. oh and wednesday i got to take off work so i could take care of my mother who is having back problems of her own and has a pinched nerve because of it. yesterday i got to work a 10 and a half hour shift, all because we were short handed and im a sucker for little guilt trips. one thing i felt like not taking anymore was there whole " You're off at 2:00?!?!?!?! " bullshit fucking scam to get me to stay longer than i have too. well i had a simple reply which was also put like a smart ass which gave me the satisfaction to see the anger from what i say back. i thought it would be clever to make the answer rhyme with the question but to say it like a asshole. what could i say back to that.... hmmm " yeah, and theres nothing you can do. " im sick of that shit, just start rhyming to everything they bitch about. i've been eating more for the simple fact that i noticed even a little bit more intake on my part with the workout has shown large gains in muscle growth. funny thing is, all i can think about now is getting off work tomorrow, meeting up with my brother and going to "Wine Lovers" so all 3 of us (My sister in law, my brother and of course me) can pick up on the waitress. then shoot some pool afterward. anyway just gonna go ahead and post the poem for your entertainment. it is by the way published by me and can not be copied in any way. or there will be a price to pay. don't be a fool, just keep cool and read what i wrote for you.

Chris Goyra

I named the poem: Childhood Never Came Home

In motion I'm going to my past
Looking at it all and it's been trashed
Horrible memories are all I can see
The horrible things happening to me
Countless days of fear
Endless moments of tears
Beatings all day and all night
Lived my childhood in fright
Treated like an adult since age one
But yet my story has just begun
Being beaten from age five
I'm lucky to be alive
Mother thrown into the sliding door
Her body hits the floor
Yet she was pregnant at the time
Life she protected was mine
Lucky to be alive even then
Never thought I could make age ten
Twenty now and life is still tough
I've just about had enough
Being real as being me
The pain I feel is who you see
It will never leave me alone
My childhood never came home

pretty harsh huh?

let me know what you think, but now all i can say is im out like a fresh water trout.

Peace in the middle east!