I fucking hate my life

[hin_chung_11]

I figure that title might draw some attention. But I really don't care, cuz I really do hate my life right now. Nothing ever goes right when it has to. So horrible. So FUCKING GAY. (sorry - that word is just a derogatory term that I will use throughout this piece, because I'm too pissed to find a better word - yes, i'm a loser, i already know

Comments

[vqtpai]

in reponse to the above comment: it is so NOT inspiring to hear you rant. it makes me depressed first of all because you have or pretend to have such low confidence, second because you expect way to much of yourself and then are disappointed when you don't meet your standards, and third because you REALLY DO NOT SUCK, YOU ACTUALLY DON'T WANT TO QUIT and IT'S ONE AUDITION. give it a rest.

wow...and i was actually trying not to be bitchy.

[hin_chung_11]

hey now, u should be nice to amy. she's cool.

and ummm - wut's wrong with expecting a lot from yourself? is that considered a crime? does that offend you? cuz i mean, if it does, i will, by all means, make sure that I have no more expectations of myself in order to make you feel happier. my standards are high, and they remain high, and I won't let them drop to something that I can just sit on my ass and be satisfied with, because that's me and my personal philosophy.

okay, i'm NOT quitting. Fuck - i'm gonna go practice now so i can NOT SUCK as much.

lol - ur comment above was all remorseful and self-demeaning, and then here u turn into psychobitch. wtf, mate?

oh, but i still love ya, :-D lol.

[vqtpai]

there's nothing wrong with expecting a lot from yourself....it's just that if at times you don't live up to your expectations, then just accept it and move on. i'm not saying should be satisfied, but you shouldn't go on crazy 'my life sucks, i suck' rants and expect pity.

[hin_chung_11]

i don't want anyone's fucking pity. that's....pitiful, lols. it's your choice you read what i write. i just write cuz it's what i do. don't read it next time if you don't want to.

and it's not as easy as people say - just accept your past and move on. Jean Valjean (les miserables) couldn't do it till he DIED. lol - i'm such a nerd. Anyway, the past is a motivator to improve. That's how i do it - i dwell on the past long enough to say...write this entry...but then i keep turning back to it so that I can get mad enough to play better.

take it easy, vidya.

[vqtpai]

ok yeah you are a nerd. but w/e. it's not that i don't like reading what you write...it's just you don't realize how great you are. sure, there are a few people better than you, but you are better than sooooo many more people in so many things. i guess if i were better than you then i wouldn't find your entries so bad. but i'm not, and just like me, there are other people who read your entries about not getting a high enough chairs in orchestra or high enough SAT/other test scores and feel depressed about how much their own lives and "ability to get into college" suck compared to yours.

i should just stop leaving comments, or else you're probably going to hate me even more than you already do.

i'm a bad writer as you can see ; )

[vqtpai]

*** i meant their abilities/chances of getting into a good college aren't as good as yours

omg...

[hin_chung_11]

u know i don't hate you. i'd marry you, if sarah didn't have to come with the package :-)

leave comments on my next post...

and you're at least as good as me in everything, don't even deny it.

so ur point is...that because i'm better than others (so you say, falsely)...i shouldn't talk about things that matter to me? i don't even care for the attention. i just don't feel it's necessary to keep anything about me private, cuz i have an open personality. (see me if you want an essay on what i mean)