ミツル ２４・ヒミツ １０９：「ずっと」の終わり (The end of a "forever").
This.......... was totally not the way I had wanted to come back to writing about NEWS.
Last day of Strawberry tour, 08/12/2018.
To be frank, I am still caught in a turmoil of feelings. There are so many perspectives and sides I need to know before jumping to conclusions and passing judgement, but we're only just human so it's so difficult to think rationally with all these feelings and thoughts swirling inside me. I had thought it would be similar to how easily - in retrospect - I accepted 4-nin NEWS back in 2011 and had passed all my rage and grudges on to Yamapi and Ryo.
I have to admit now - how you 9/8/7/6nin NEWS fans survived this entire mess throughout the years, I will never be able to comprehend. I admire your strength in still staying with these men all this time despite the odds, despite ... everything.
So.... here goes.
TEGOSHI. Tegoshi. Tegoshi..... where did we go wrong? Why? Just..... why?
I will not hesitate to admit that you are my least favorite member. I never really liked how you made all these "funny" antics in an effort to get people to like you, antics that in my humble opinion, make you look like a fool out of yourself (especially in ItteQ). People may say that that part of you is still genuine, and that you always had this prankster side to you, but it irritated me somehow and it didn't sit well with me. It somehow seemed insecure and desperate, a front that you had to put up in order to stay relevant, a facade that you only show to us on variety TV. This is probably why I had stopped watching ItteQ in real time and only rely on clips nowadays, because just hearing and watching you resort to these just gets on my nerves and I have to stop myself from reaching into the TV screen and strangling you (if it was only possible). I know your real personality is hidden under these layers of acting, this "idol" persona of yours - and how the real you is so private that only the people in close proximity know, and how it shows to us only whenever your defense is down.
Music-wise, it was also the same. While I greatly admire your vocal range, I really don't like how you - there is no other word for it - literally scream. In. Every. Song. You tried to stand out from the rest by belting out the last few notes in lines, and it grates my ears to the point that I wanted you to stop doing that.
I get it; we all get it: you have the best vocal ability in the group, and there's just no escaping the fact that musical precision and technique of yours was necessary to breathe life into these songs. You could sing the main harmony, you could sing the underlying harmonies, you could balance out everything and give these songs the identity only NEWS can give. You were an asset, you were our number 1 batter, you were our life and soul. And this is why you didn't have to try so hard to stand out from the rest of them by endlessly prolonging your notes to the point of screaming - because your sound resonates so clearly as it is in the mix, and it's so easy to pick out which voice is yours, and it delights me when you softly and carefully sing these notes, as preciously as you could.
And these are why, for these reasons, it's so hard for me to personally choose which fandom path to take.
I love the other three, and they're so precious and well-respected in their own ways. Massu, bless him, has started to gain more momentum in terms of appearances and I couldn't be any happier. Shige is still writing away like mad, and I'm still at a level nowhere near enough for me to read his novels even after all these years, and he's steadily climbing up the path of a full-fledged novelist. It's probably Kei-chan I am very worried about, because even after all these months since that incident, he is still not back as our resident newscaster. Of course we see him together with Shige on NEWS na Futari, but still...
Probably the main challenge for 3nin NEWS now is how to keep that distinct NEWS sound in their discography. To redo Tegoshi's lines in NEWS songs will be a very big hurdle for them. Not only will they have to think of covering up for the previous six members in their old songs, they now have to keep into account Tegoshi's (undeniably) high notes in his lines. While I have faith that Massu will somehow make it happen in terms of musical prowess as the other half of Tegomasu (who is, after all, their vocal center), I am not so sure anymore how it is going to turn out from this point on. Tegoshi's departure has left a very big void not only in their music, but also in their team dynamics.
And this is precisely why I am still so uncertain if I should stay or move on.
I have to admit that the biggest reason I had stayed with NEWS is their music. They were so good pre-4nin, and the 4nin era, while vastly experimental at first, proved to be really strong in later years, as evidenced in their conceptual albums and lives. Their musical styles have expanded, but even with the wide range of styles, they never fail to have at least three songs on each album that still strongly resonates that good old NEWS melody I had first fallen in love with and grown so accustomed to. Each single, each album, when one mentions it, I can immediately call to mind a place or a memory I associate with the release, be it happy or sad. I may not be able to read their jwebs as faithfully as I had once done, or followed their dramas or their recent public endeavors, but one can count on me to get my hands on a NEWS release, or attend at least four shows on every tour.
A part of me is happy that I have made the giant move to Japan in order to experience 4nin NEWS at their best. I have experienced all these concerts except for Epcotia Encore, and I'm still so mad about it because I was in the middle of my annual trip home and so I couldn't go and I still get so emotional each and every time, as if I'm seeing them for the first time. But I also can't deny that feeling had gradually waned by the time Worldista had rolled around, mainly because I had found other interests /coughstageplays/ that are also making me go outside of my fandom comfort zone. The friends I have made in the early 4nin days also have moved on to other hobbies to the point that we don't even talk anymore, and it's really depressing because it felt like I couldn't connect to these newer fans and I have no common ground with them.
But even with these changes, I cannot deny the fact that 4nin NEWS had given me so much - emotional support, fulfillment, memories, connections - a place I could call home.
So with this uncertainty hanging in the air, my 4nin playlist just relentlessly playing in the background, I wait for the next time I see or hear 3nin NEWS live, see and wait if I am still willing to walk this path along with them. I wish Tegoshi happiness and success; I won't be following any of his endeavors but I'd rather have him free and alive like this instead of depressed and dead like those scary days towards the end of the Neverland tour.
This may be the end of their "forever" as 4nin NEWS, but I hope everyone will be happy in the end, and that somewhere, somehow, we get to see them smiling genuinely once more, on the paths they have chosen, in the lives they will continue to lead.
Last day of Strawberry tour, 08/12/2018.
To be frank, I am still caught in a turmoil of feelings. There are so many perspectives and sides I need to know before jumping to conclusions and passing judgement, but we're only just human so it's so difficult to think rationally with all these feelings and thoughts swirling inside me. I had thought it would be similar to how easily - in retrospect - I accepted 4-nin NEWS back in 2011 and had passed all my rage and grudges on to Yamapi and Ryo.
I have to admit now - how you 9/8/7/6nin NEWS fans survived this entire mess throughout the years, I will never be able to comprehend. I admire your strength in still staying with these men all this time despite the odds, despite ... everything.
So.... here goes.
TEGOSHI. Tegoshi. Tegoshi..... where did we go wrong? Why? Just..... why?
I will not hesitate to admit that you are my least favorite member. I never really liked how you made all these "funny" antics in an effort to get people to like you, antics that in my humble opinion, make you look like a fool out of yourself (especially in ItteQ). People may say that that part of you is still genuine, and that you always had this prankster side to you, but it irritated me somehow and it didn't sit well with me. It somehow seemed insecure and desperate, a front that you had to put up in order to stay relevant, a facade that you only show to us on variety TV. This is probably why I had stopped watching ItteQ in real time and only rely on clips nowadays, because just hearing and watching you resort to these just gets on my nerves and I have to stop myself from reaching into the TV screen and strangling you (if it was only possible). I know your real personality is hidden under these layers of acting, this "idol" persona of yours - and how the real you is so private that only the people in close proximity know, and how it shows to us only whenever your defense is down.
Music-wise, it was also the same. While I greatly admire your vocal range, I really don't like how you - there is no other word for it - literally scream. In. Every. Song. You tried to stand out from the rest by belting out the last few notes in lines, and it grates my ears to the point that I wanted you to stop doing that.
I get it; we all get it: you have the best vocal ability in the group, and there's just no escaping the fact that musical precision and technique of yours was necessary to breathe life into these songs. You could sing the main harmony, you could sing the underlying harmonies, you could balance out everything and give these songs the identity only NEWS can give. You were an asset, you were our number 1 batter, you were our life and soul. And this is why you didn't have to try so hard to stand out from the rest of them by endlessly prolonging your notes to the point of screaming - because your sound resonates so clearly as it is in the mix, and it's so easy to pick out which voice is yours, and it delights me when you softly and carefully sing these notes, as preciously as you could.
And these are why, for these reasons, it's so hard for me to personally choose which fandom path to take.
I love the other three, and they're so precious and well-respected in their own ways. Massu, bless him, has started to gain more momentum in terms of appearances and I couldn't be any happier. Shige is still writing away like mad, and I'm still at a level nowhere near enough for me to read his novels even after all these years, and he's steadily climbing up the path of a full-fledged novelist. It's probably Kei-chan I am very worried about, because even after all these months since that incident, he is still not back as our resident newscaster. Of course we see him together with Shige on NEWS na Futari, but still...
Probably the main challenge for 3nin NEWS now is how to keep that distinct NEWS sound in their discography. To redo Tegoshi's lines in NEWS songs will be a very big hurdle for them. Not only will they have to think of covering up for the previous six members in their old songs, they now have to keep into account Tegoshi's (undeniably) high notes in his lines. While I have faith that Massu will somehow make it happen in terms of musical prowess as the other half of Tegomasu (who is, after all, their vocal center), I am not so sure anymore how it is going to turn out from this point on. Tegoshi's departure has left a very big void not only in their music, but also in their team dynamics.
And this is precisely why I am still so uncertain if I should stay or move on.
I have to admit that the biggest reason I had stayed with NEWS is their music. They were so good pre-4nin, and the 4nin era, while vastly experimental at first, proved to be really strong in later years, as evidenced in their conceptual albums and lives. Their musical styles have expanded, but even with the wide range of styles, they never fail to have at least three songs on each album that still strongly resonates that good old NEWS melody I had first fallen in love with and grown so accustomed to. Each single, each album, when one mentions it, I can immediately call to mind a place or a memory I associate with the release, be it happy or sad. I may not be able to read their jwebs as faithfully as I had once done, or followed their dramas or their recent public endeavors, but one can count on me to get my hands on a NEWS release, or attend at least four shows on every tour.
A part of me is happy that I have made the giant move to Japan in order to experience 4nin NEWS at their best. I have experienced all these concerts except for Epcotia Encore, and I'm still so mad about it because I was in the middle of my annual trip home and so I couldn't go and I still get so emotional each and every time, as if I'm seeing them for the first time. But I also can't deny that feeling had gradually waned by the time Worldista had rolled around, mainly because I had found other interests /coughstageplays/ that are also making me go outside of my fandom comfort zone. The friends I have made in the early 4nin days also have moved on to other hobbies to the point that we don't even talk anymore, and it's really depressing because it felt like I couldn't connect to these newer fans and I have no common ground with them.
But even with these changes, I cannot deny the fact that 4nin NEWS had given me so much - emotional support, fulfillment, memories, connections - a place I could call home.
So with this uncertainty hanging in the air, my 4nin playlist just relentlessly playing in the background, I wait for the next time I see or hear 3nin NEWS live, see and wait if I am still willing to walk this path along with them. I wish Tegoshi happiness and success; I won't be following any of his endeavors but I'd rather have him free and alive like this instead of depressed and dead like those scary days towards the end of the Neverland tour.
This may be the end of their "forever" as 4nin NEWS, but I hope everyone will be happy in the end, and that somewhere, somehow, we get to see them smiling genuinely once more, on the paths they have chosen, in the lives they will continue to lead.