Afraid to Feel
Title: Afraid to feel
Rating: Rated PG-13 going a little bit to R eventually, I think.
Pairing: Ville/OFC
Disclaimer: This is a work of complete fiction. I do not own Ville Valo, his music, his band or his band mates and their families.
Summary: Ville Valo is not a good man. At least that is what Elina has come to understand. He is a killer, but her problem is that he is too wonderful to hate! (Not my best summary, but it’ll have to do for now)
Chapter 4: After concert surprise
The memories were still as vivid as if she was watching the concert go on all over again. She couldn’t get over all the sensations she had discovered merely minutes ago. They were so beautiful that it pained Elina not being able to have suffered them much earlier. She couldn’t wait to get home to tell her father, and rub it on all her friends’ faces. Especially Lucy. She had to ask Tommy what he thought of the show. Rock music wasn’t Tommy’s favorite, but he was patient with it for Elina’s sake (just as she was patient with his favorite genre of music). However, Tommy had shown the signs of enjoying HIM’s music somewhat. And it made Elina happy to know that he wasn’t just doing it for her. She was certain that he enjoyed the concert as much as she did.
As Elina waited in the darken corner alone, she began to sing. She had never been a good singer, but her voice wasn’t as bad to get an immediate order of silence. Softly at first she began singing Heartkiller.
"Farewell oh heartless world." As she got more into the groove of the song, her voice grew in strength. "I’ll send you a postcard burnt in the flames you’ve tried so hard to extinguish with the fear of failing. I’ll write down everything I have learned and edit it down to a single word, love. For you I’m waiting anticipating . . ."
When she was about to hit the chorus line, another voice beat her to it. Immediately she stopped all hopes she had of continuing to sing, and stared at the dark figure of a man that emanated a slow plume of smoke from his lips as he sang the chorus for her. She hadn’t even noticed when he appeared. "Sparks will fly beneath the Luna alight Lazarus at Frankenstein’s, babe I’ll be a flatliner for a Heartkiller . . . Why did you stop, sweetheart?"
With that last word, his most used endearment; it all clicked together, and Elina felt a blush rise up to her cheeks. The voice sounded different being so clean and naked from any musical device that Elina was used to hearing it with. The man emerged from the darkness, making the woman gasp in surprise. "Oh my God! What are you doing here?!?" Elina asked finding herself humble before the rockstar. Most of the times, Elina was considered extremely mature for her age, but now, with Ville Valo standing in front of her, she felt like a true teenager. He was wearing the same clothes he had in the performance; a simple array of jeans, a band tee-shirt and a jacket toped off with a black beanie. His hair was just as she liked it on him; poking in all directions from just under the edges of his beanie.
He smiled, oddly Elina felt like he was looking into the very insides of her being. There was a spark in his eyes that almost frightened her. "I saw that you were injured, and I decided to follow you." By the way he said it, Elina knew it wasn’t concern what had made him move or at least, that was what her crazy fan-up mind had come up with. It was unheard off, really. Where had he been hiding off to be able to see that she was injured, without getting totally mobbed by a horde of his fans?
A more fun and pleasurable idea for her crazy fan head came forth to Elina, who wasn’t able to resist speaking it. "Are you stalking me?" Elina said narrowing her eyes playfully. Then, the smoke from his cigarette hit her, and she felt an unnatural need for cigarette that she would be willing to sell both her pinkies, so long as she was given one. But no! She hadn’t smoked in four years; she wasn’t going to start now.
"What’s so wrong about that?" He said teasingly as he walked even closer to Elina. He stood before her, a hand in his pocket as he regarded Elina’s appearance. Though she wasn’t going to admit it, Elina felt as if she was being looked over like a piece of meat in a supermarket. She shook that feeling off.
"Well I thought that since I am the fan then it should be me doing the stalking." Elina replied, enjoying herself.
Ville smiled, the cigarette hanging from his mouth. "Life has a wonderful way of turning the tables." He said which was something that Elina expected him to say. As a fan and having a complete stupid crush on Ville Valo, Elina considered him to be the most poetic and intelligent man in the world. Though she knew that was merely her fixation with him speaking, she didn’t get that in the way of her life, for it was a bit out of character of her to be obsessed like a preppy girl over a man she could never have.
"Huh? True, I’ll give you that."
Silence overwhelmed their little spot in the world as Ville observed her keenly. Elina could see that he was working things out in his head, but otherwise his face showed nothing. She was a little afraid of staring too much at him, excluding since he was doing it to her, she saw no harm to stare back.
He sighed, still smiling. "To be completely honest, I was smoking backstage when I felt the ropes of destiny pull me here." He said, casually placing a hand next to Elina’s head on the wall. He was so close, Elina had to look up to stare at his eyes for he was a head taller than her and she found that he appealed to her more because of that. She was ever the one to choose really tall (and skinny) guys as her romantic companions, except for Tommy, who was only a couple of inches taller than her.
"Destiny, you say?" Elina gasped, giggling stupidly. That was even more a stupid reason than the first he said, however Elina was really enjoying herself. She had thought that if she ever met Ville Valo, she would be so star struck that she would be verbally stupid. "Interesting way to put it, Mr. Valo"
He shook his head slightly, while he brought the cigarette in his hand to his lips. "Yeah, that was me trying to flirt."
Again, Elina giggled like a crazed teenager, which in fact she was. But he didn’t need to know that yet. "Well you better stop before my fiancée gets here. I don’t want to be tempted to break any rules."
"For one such as you, sweetheart, I would break all the rules." He said, his charm grasping the woman tighter and tighter with every passing moment. Elina looked around to check if anyone had recognized him. HIM fans were hanging around, yet it seemed that the darkness Ville was engulfed by kept the prying eyes away. She turned to look at Ville again, only to see that he had grown worried when she was looking away. Now he was calm and smiling, and Elina knew it was because he had her attention again.
She raised an eyebrow at him, a smile never leaving her face. She would have never imagined her first encounter with her favorite singer would be like that! "Flirting again, are you Mr. Valo? You don’t even know my name, and I’m more than sure that my age will be a major turn off for you."
He smirked staring at her with a new found strength in the spark in his green eyes that only made Elina wonder what it meant. Ville stared at her eyes differently now, and Elina was certain that he was entranced by her eyes. It happened way too often. He spoke, seeming out of breath. "Surprise me."
"I’m eighteen."
Ville laughed, doubling over slightly as he did so. "It seems precious, that I almost double you in age."
Elina smiled up to him, since there was little else she could do. What could she say to him, anyway? She did want to ask if her age was bothersome, but then she would be implying something, and she loved Tommy regardless of what she told him earlier in the car about Ville. It was then that Tommy’s car shone its headlights toward where Elina was with Ville. The man hid from the lights hence he be discovered by the strayed fans around. His eyes never left Elina’s face. "That’s my ride."
The man nodded and smiled, a little disappointedly. "Do I get to know your name, since you already know mine?"
She didn’t hesitate, happy that this man wanted to know her name, even if he wouldn’t remember it by tomorrow. In the back of her head, she hoped he would remember it always. "Elina Anderson."
"Elina?" Ville called just as she was walking slowly to open the car’s door. She turned around, hearing the sweet way the singer said her name. It sounded so personal, so sexy. "I will see you again." He said, and Elina knew he was speaking the truth. She shivered with a sense of foreboding.
~@~
"Holy fuck!" Tommy said driving away after Elina got in the car. He was glancing back, trying to spot the figure that had been next to Elina, but it was too late. Ville had already vanished. "Was that who I think it was?"
"Yeah." Elina said in a voice that indicated that she herself couldn’t quite believe it either. She was perplexed completely. The aftertaste she had imagined she would have now from the HIM concert was gone. Replace by her meeting with the HIM frontman. All she could think off was of Ville Valo. She could only barely register what her fiancée was saying next to her as she turned to look out the window.
"WOW!" Tommy said as he drove, a big smile plastered on his face. "Ha, you are so lucky, Elina."
She had left Ville Valo staring after her, but she knew that he had a knowing smile on his face, and that made Elina wonder. Did he know something that Elina didn’t? Were they really going to meet again? And if they were, then how? Ville only knew her name, and regardless of all the weapons he could have at his disposal, there weren’t many chances of having him see her again. Whereas Elina would see him everyday of her life, on the walls of her room or on the TV or in magazines or on the images she had of him on her computer. It would be something stellar if she opened her front door and found him standing on the other side, with that knowing smile of his on his face.
His last words were so nerve-racking, His stares were so personal and his smiles were so meaningful that she was left to wonder if he normally did that to random fans just to mess with them.
Elina was confused. Though one thing was for sure, Lucy was going to flip over when Elina tells her the events that took place.
………
AN: Next Chapter will take much more longer to come out that this one did. I still havent finished writting it. If there is any grammar error, then I'm sorry, I feel really lazy today. Anyway, enjoy!
Previously:
http://community.livejournal.com/himfanfics/364507.html#cutid1 Prologue
http://community.livejournal.com/himfanfics/366321.html?#cutid1 Part 1
http://community.livejournal.com/himfanfics/366745.html#cutid1 Part 1: Chapter 1
http://community.livejournal.com/himfanfics/367017.html#cutid1 Part 1: Chapter 2
http://community.livejournal.com/himfanfics/367699.html#cutid1 Part 1: Chapter 3