[Oneshot] Untitled
Title: Untitled
Author: hime-lian92
Pairings: YunJae
Length: Oneshot
Genre: Drama (i guess?)
Rating: G
Warning: some of the stuff written may not reflect what really happened in real life, that's why they're called fanfiction
Disclaimer: The idea is 100% mine, but if there is similarity, it is purely coincidence
Summary: Everyday, I fight the urge to text you or to talk to you. Telling myself that if you wanted to speak to me, you would.
A/N: The story is from Jaejoong's POV first, then Yunho's POV. Italics are for messages that they send. Comments are loved &hearts.
Can we meet?
Jaejoong stared at his phone for a few seconds after hitting the send button. The notification on his phone saying that the message is being sent. He sighed as the screen says that the message has been successfully sent.
He put his phone away and turned his attention back to his computer. He was writing a letter, which has become a habit of his since few years ago. His letter was always so simple, short, but contains his sincere feelings.
He remembered the first time he wrote a letter. Of course he wrote a few letters here and there, but he felt that time was really the official first time he ever wrote a letter and sent it to people he really cared about.
The letters were for his beloved members of TVXQ.
When he first started writing the letters, it was because he was happy. He was happy, but very insecure. Those who are close to him should have known that he was a very insecure person. He couldn’t handle being happy. He would always thought he doesn’t deserve being happy. When they become famous and known all over the world, and even won so many music awards, his insecurities only grown bigger.
That was why he wrote the letter. To remind himself how thankful he was with his members and to tell them words that he could never say in front of their faces.
His letters were honest. The words came from within his heart. He was truly thankful and blessed to be in TVXQ and to have members like them to support and be his family through thick and thin.
Yoochun, Junsu, Changmin, and lastly...Yunho.
The vibrate of his phone turned his attention away from the computer that he hasn’t touch for a while because he was preoccupied with his memories. The screen on his phone lit up showing that he just received a new message.
A reply.
His heart thundering, his lips felt really moist from having it being licked so many times and his throat felt dry. He didn’t have the courage to open the message to view the content. Will the reply be no? Or...will it be yes, just like he hoped it to be?
He shut his eyes as he brought his phone to his chest, silently praying for his wish to come true.
When he opened his eyes to read what was written, he felt as if his heart crumbled into pieces.
No.
He cried. No, he didn’t bawl like a girl who just got rejected by the boy she loves. At least that what he convinced himself. He wasn’t crying because of the answer. No, he wasn’t.
No, he wasn’t.
No, he wasn’t.
Yes, he was.
After a few minutes, he finally admitted to himself that he was actually crying because of the reply to his invitation. How many times had he got rejected like this since 5 years ago? Every time he asked for a meeting, he would always get a no for an answer.
Of course, he understands how hurt they must’ve felt. Betrayed by their best friends, the one who share the same pain and smiles together, and the ones who actually understand the most how they must’ve felt. The moment he turned his back to them, he knew, it won’t be easy to win their hearts again.
But he didn’t turn his back to them. He tried asking them to follow him. He wanted to be together with them. He wanted them to stay the same.
Nothing will ever be the same the moment he stepped out of TVXQ.
In one email, Changmin told him of how hypocrite he was. He told him that he didn’t actually feel thankful to be a member of TVXQ. He didn’t actually consider them as family, just like how he always says during interviews and whatnot. Jaejoong replied the email, but he didn’t get another reply back.
He admitted that he must’ve look and sound like a hyprocite to other people, but it wasn’t what he truly is. He meant every word that he said during those times, and even still is. He was thankful to be able to become a member of TVXQ, even now he still feels that he was a part of TVXQ. He still considers them as family, even if they don’t feel the same.
The first two years after their breakup, none of the two members who are still in TVXQ, living up to their name, was able to be contacted. Mainly because of the company, but even so, they themselves didn’t want to be contacted by any of the three members.
It hurts Jaejoong so bad that he went under depression for a few weeks, though he doubted anyone knows.
After some incident, Jaejoong got Yunho’s phone number through mutual friends. He hesitated whether it was really okay for him to message Yunho. He wasn’t sure if Yunho would reply him back.
He did it anyway. And he actually glad that he did.
He got Yunho’s answer a few hours later; he said that he was in practice. The message was short, but he saved it on his phone. It was the first message that Yunho replied him to since their breakup 4 years ago.
Was out practicing. I know it was you.
Jaejoong would write an essay and Yunho replies were only few short sentences. That’s how it always has been for a year. Jaejoong wouldn’t trade his messages for anything better.
One day Jaejoong asked Yunho about Changmin. Yunho reply was: He’s good, eats and sleeps well.
Those words were enough for Jaejoong.
But he became greedier as time goes by. He started to feel that messages were not sufficient enough for him to convey how lonely and how much he misses them. He decided to call Yunho. Yunho immediately rejected his call. Then, a few minutes later a message came.
Don’t call. I won’t pickup.
Jaejoong cried.
Ever since then, Jaejoong never tried to call Yunho. And whenever Jaejoong messaged Yunho and invite him to meet, Yunho would always say no.
Until when would Yunho keep this up? He didn’t want to meet? Fine. Just let Jaejoong hear the voice he has wanted to hear for the past 5 years. Sure, he heard their voice on TV or radio, but he knew those are their ‘work’ voices. He wanted their real voices.
Jaejoong wiped away his tears when his phone vibrated again. Another message. Probably from Junsu, or Yoochun, Jaejoong thought as he picked up the phone.
Everyday, I fight the urge to text you or to talk to you. Telling myself that if you wanted to speak to me, you would.
It definitely wasn’t easy being Jung Yunho. He is one of the most top artists in the country, having been awarded for so many times. He is talented, handsome, tall, and basically an excellent role model of a leader.
Though he doubt the last part ever since 5 years ago.
He doubted his capability as a leader of a group that was supposedly the best Korean male group. Did he do something wrong? Why would our group face this when we were right on the peak of our careers? He kept saying that over and over again, blaming himself for something he doesn’t understand.
Then he tried to calm himself, trying to think with clear head why his friends-his members-did that. Were they right? Was I wrong? Should I follow them?
But Yunho couldn’t do that, even if he wanted to. There were problems with the company, media, etc. They threatened them-the five of them-that they would never let them go back to the entertainment industry if they were to go. Yunho didn’t want that. He didn’t want TVXQ name to be memory, he wanted to keep it alive as long as he could. And Changmin was confused-just like him-but he wanted to at least be there for him.
He knew Jaejoong was stubborn, he had always known that ever since he finally got close to the boy. Jaejoong was the first person Yunho was ever really close to. Jaejoong was the only person Yunho would ever tell his problems to. In one interview, Yunho even told the public that he thought of Jaejoong as more than friend, more than a family, but his other half.
He was being sincere.
Even now, after 5 years Jaejoong left him, Yunho still feel that Jaejoong is his other half. But he doubt the latter feel the same.
Yunho glanced at his phone. An incoming message. It was from Jaejoong. He hasn’t been sending him message since the last one which was almost 2 months ago. Maybe he knew Yunho was busy, so he didn’t send one.
He read the message. Jaejoong asked to meet again.
He must admit, it was painful to read Jaejoong’s messages. Even though 5 years had gone by, he still felt hurt by their betrayal, especially Jaejoong’s. For the first few months after their breakup, Jaejoong kept on sending him messages and calls. He did that to Changmin too.
Their wounds were still fresh then, and they decided to change our numbers. In public they even pretended to never receive anything from the trio, especially Jaejoong. Seeing Jaejoong’s messages and calls remind them of how much it hurts to have your family betray you. Yunho wanted to forget that. He wanted Changmin to forget that.
They both have moved on, now after 5 years, though not completely.
One day, apparently Jaejoong had found his number miraculously. He decided to send Yunho a message, a short, but meaningful message that was just like him. At first, of course, he thought being suspicious of the message was normal for a celebrity like him. It said it was Jaejoong, but can Yunho believe completely that it was from that person? Yunho was surprised, to be honest, because he wasn’t expecting Jaejoong to still not give up even after being treated coldly by Yunho and Changmin.
Even so, after confirming to a source, which Yunho had kept a top secret, even from their manager, it was indeed, Jaejoong’s number. New number, because apparently he changed his number too after some incident, said the source.
Yunho pitied him, and he was glad Jaejoong decided to just message him this time, not Changmin. Who knows what Changmin would do if he found Jaejoong’s sending a message to him. Yunho decided that he should at least reply to message (of course, him doubting if it was really a message from Jaejoong or not, was a secret from Jaejoong).
From then on, they kept on messaging each other back and forth. Yunho wasn’t as bothered as he thought he would be and he quite enjoyed the fact that Jaejoong would sometimes tell them about their activities, their problems, even though Yunho mostly didn’t comment on that except reading them.
As much as Yunho hated them for running out on him and Changmin, he still loves them dearly. They were after all, TVXQ. Knowing what they have been doing ever since the breakup was a relief to Yunho’s heart.
It was amazing that Jaejoong would only messaged him when they were having day offs or whenever they finished with their tour or recording. It was as if Jaejoong knew their schedules perfectly. Or does he really know? Well, it doesn’t matter to Yunho at all.
He glanced at his phone and read the message again. He sighed. Even though he was okay with messages, he would definitely reject calls and meetings. He wasn’t ready, and his heart wasn’t ready to hear Jaejoong’s voice or even meet him in person.
Of course he understands how Jaejoong must’ve feel. Jaejoong must’ve missed both him and Changmin terribly. They were together for so many years and not seeing each other’s face for so long, longing would be an understatement.
He wasn’t ready, not yet. Then, when will he be ready?
There was news about Jaejoong’s enlistment to the military. He didn’t know if it was rumor or real. If it was real, would he really have to wait for another 2 years to see him in person? Can he really hold out that long? Wasn’t five years long enough for them not to see each other face to face?
What would happen if they meet? Cry? Hug each other? Telling each other how they missed one another? Or would they be angry? Yelling at each other? Telling each other how one was right and the other was wrong?
Yunho was afraid of that. He didn’t want to give damage to their already broken friendship. What should he do? He didn’t know.
One thing he could do: Picking up the phone and let the fate work her wonders on them.
A/N: I'm sorry if they're all over the place. I haven't been writing for quite sometime. And HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Author: hime-lian92
Pairings: YunJae
Length: Oneshot
Genre: Drama (i guess?)
Rating: G
Warning: some of the stuff written may not reflect what really happened in real life, that's why they're called fanfiction
Disclaimer: The idea is 100% mine, but if there is similarity, it is purely coincidence
Summary: Everyday, I fight the urge to text you or to talk to you. Telling myself that if you wanted to speak to me, you would.
A/N: The story is from Jaejoong's POV first, then Yunho's POV. Italics are for messages that they send. Comments are loved &hearts.
Can we meet?
Jaejoong stared at his phone for a few seconds after hitting the send button. The notification on his phone saying that the message is being sent. He sighed as the screen says that the message has been successfully sent.
He put his phone away and turned his attention back to his computer. He was writing a letter, which has become a habit of his since few years ago. His letter was always so simple, short, but contains his sincere feelings.
He remembered the first time he wrote a letter. Of course he wrote a few letters here and there, but he felt that time was really the official first time he ever wrote a letter and sent it to people he really cared about.
The letters were for his beloved members of TVXQ.
When he first started writing the letters, it was because he was happy. He was happy, but very insecure. Those who are close to him should have known that he was a very insecure person. He couldn’t handle being happy. He would always thought he doesn’t deserve being happy. When they become famous and known all over the world, and even won so many music awards, his insecurities only grown bigger.
That was why he wrote the letter. To remind himself how thankful he was with his members and to tell them words that he could never say in front of their faces.
His letters were honest. The words came from within his heart. He was truly thankful and blessed to be in TVXQ and to have members like them to support and be his family through thick and thin.
Yoochun, Junsu, Changmin, and lastly...Yunho.
The vibrate of his phone turned his attention away from the computer that he hasn’t touch for a while because he was preoccupied with his memories. The screen on his phone lit up showing that he just received a new message.
A reply.
His heart thundering, his lips felt really moist from having it being licked so many times and his throat felt dry. He didn’t have the courage to open the message to view the content. Will the reply be no? Or...will it be yes, just like he hoped it to be?
He shut his eyes as he brought his phone to his chest, silently praying for his wish to come true.
When he opened his eyes to read what was written, he felt as if his heart crumbled into pieces.
No.
He cried. No, he didn’t bawl like a girl who just got rejected by the boy she loves. At least that what he convinced himself. He wasn’t crying because of the answer. No, he wasn’t.
No, he wasn’t.
No, he wasn’t.
Yes, he was.
After a few minutes, he finally admitted to himself that he was actually crying because of the reply to his invitation. How many times had he got rejected like this since 5 years ago? Every time he asked for a meeting, he would always get a no for an answer.
Of course, he understands how hurt they must’ve felt. Betrayed by their best friends, the one who share the same pain and smiles together, and the ones who actually understand the most how they must’ve felt. The moment he turned his back to them, he knew, it won’t be easy to win their hearts again.
But he didn’t turn his back to them. He tried asking them to follow him. He wanted to be together with them. He wanted them to stay the same.
Nothing will ever be the same the moment he stepped out of TVXQ.
In one email, Changmin told him of how hypocrite he was. He told him that he didn’t actually feel thankful to be a member of TVXQ. He didn’t actually consider them as family, just like how he always says during interviews and whatnot. Jaejoong replied the email, but he didn’t get another reply back.
He admitted that he must’ve look and sound like a hyprocite to other people, but it wasn’t what he truly is. He meant every word that he said during those times, and even still is. He was thankful to be able to become a member of TVXQ, even now he still feels that he was a part of TVXQ. He still considers them as family, even if they don’t feel the same.
The first two years after their breakup, none of the two members who are still in TVXQ, living up to their name, was able to be contacted. Mainly because of the company, but even so, they themselves didn’t want to be contacted by any of the three members.
It hurts Jaejoong so bad that he went under depression for a few weeks, though he doubted anyone knows.
After some incident, Jaejoong got Yunho’s phone number through mutual friends. He hesitated whether it was really okay for him to message Yunho. He wasn’t sure if Yunho would reply him back.
He did it anyway. And he actually glad that he did.
He got Yunho’s answer a few hours later; he said that he was in practice. The message was short, but he saved it on his phone. It was the first message that Yunho replied him to since their breakup 4 years ago.
Was out practicing. I know it was you.
Jaejoong would write an essay and Yunho replies were only few short sentences. That’s how it always has been for a year. Jaejoong wouldn’t trade his messages for anything better.
One day Jaejoong asked Yunho about Changmin. Yunho reply was: He’s good, eats and sleeps well.
Those words were enough for Jaejoong.
But he became greedier as time goes by. He started to feel that messages were not sufficient enough for him to convey how lonely and how much he misses them. He decided to call Yunho. Yunho immediately rejected his call. Then, a few minutes later a message came.
Don’t call. I won’t pickup.
Jaejoong cried.
Ever since then, Jaejoong never tried to call Yunho. And whenever Jaejoong messaged Yunho and invite him to meet, Yunho would always say no.
Until when would Yunho keep this up? He didn’t want to meet? Fine. Just let Jaejoong hear the voice he has wanted to hear for the past 5 years. Sure, he heard their voice on TV or radio, but he knew those are their ‘work’ voices. He wanted their real voices.
Jaejoong wiped away his tears when his phone vibrated again. Another message. Probably from Junsu, or Yoochun, Jaejoong thought as he picked up the phone.
Everyday, I fight the urge to text you or to talk to you. Telling myself that if you wanted to speak to me, you would.
It definitely wasn’t easy being Jung Yunho. He is one of the most top artists in the country, having been awarded for so many times. He is talented, handsome, tall, and basically an excellent role model of a leader.
Though he doubt the last part ever since 5 years ago.
He doubted his capability as a leader of a group that was supposedly the best Korean male group. Did he do something wrong? Why would our group face this when we were right on the peak of our careers? He kept saying that over and over again, blaming himself for something he doesn’t understand.
Then he tried to calm himself, trying to think with clear head why his friends-his members-did that. Were they right? Was I wrong? Should I follow them?
But Yunho couldn’t do that, even if he wanted to. There were problems with the company, media, etc. They threatened them-the five of them-that they would never let them go back to the entertainment industry if they were to go. Yunho didn’t want that. He didn’t want TVXQ name to be memory, he wanted to keep it alive as long as he could. And Changmin was confused-just like him-but he wanted to at least be there for him.
He knew Jaejoong was stubborn, he had always known that ever since he finally got close to the boy. Jaejoong was the first person Yunho was ever really close to. Jaejoong was the only person Yunho would ever tell his problems to. In one interview, Yunho even told the public that he thought of Jaejoong as more than friend, more than a family, but his other half.
He was being sincere.
Even now, after 5 years Jaejoong left him, Yunho still feel that Jaejoong is his other half. But he doubt the latter feel the same.
Yunho glanced at his phone. An incoming message. It was from Jaejoong. He hasn’t been sending him message since the last one which was almost 2 months ago. Maybe he knew Yunho was busy, so he didn’t send one.
He read the message. Jaejoong asked to meet again.
He must admit, it was painful to read Jaejoong’s messages. Even though 5 years had gone by, he still felt hurt by their betrayal, especially Jaejoong’s. For the first few months after their breakup, Jaejoong kept on sending him messages and calls. He did that to Changmin too.
Their wounds were still fresh then, and they decided to change our numbers. In public they even pretended to never receive anything from the trio, especially Jaejoong. Seeing Jaejoong’s messages and calls remind them of how much it hurts to have your family betray you. Yunho wanted to forget that. He wanted Changmin to forget that.
They both have moved on, now after 5 years, though not completely.
One day, apparently Jaejoong had found his number miraculously. He decided to send Yunho a message, a short, but meaningful message that was just like him. At first, of course, he thought being suspicious of the message was normal for a celebrity like him. It said it was Jaejoong, but can Yunho believe completely that it was from that person? Yunho was surprised, to be honest, because he wasn’t expecting Jaejoong to still not give up even after being treated coldly by Yunho and Changmin.
Even so, after confirming to a source, which Yunho had kept a top secret, even from their manager, it was indeed, Jaejoong’s number. New number, because apparently he changed his number too after some incident, said the source.
Yunho pitied him, and he was glad Jaejoong decided to just message him this time, not Changmin. Who knows what Changmin would do if he found Jaejoong’s sending a message to him. Yunho decided that he should at least reply to message (of course, him doubting if it was really a message from Jaejoong or not, was a secret from Jaejoong).
From then on, they kept on messaging each other back and forth. Yunho wasn’t as bothered as he thought he would be and he quite enjoyed the fact that Jaejoong would sometimes tell them about their activities, their problems, even though Yunho mostly didn’t comment on that except reading them.
As much as Yunho hated them for running out on him and Changmin, he still loves them dearly. They were after all, TVXQ. Knowing what they have been doing ever since the breakup was a relief to Yunho’s heart.
It was amazing that Jaejoong would only messaged him when they were having day offs or whenever they finished with their tour or recording. It was as if Jaejoong knew their schedules perfectly. Or does he really know? Well, it doesn’t matter to Yunho at all.
He glanced at his phone and read the message again. He sighed. Even though he was okay with messages, he would definitely reject calls and meetings. He wasn’t ready, and his heart wasn’t ready to hear Jaejoong’s voice or even meet him in person.
Of course he understands how Jaejoong must’ve feel. Jaejoong must’ve missed both him and Changmin terribly. They were together for so many years and not seeing each other’s face for so long, longing would be an understatement.
He wasn’t ready, not yet. Then, when will he be ready?
There was news about Jaejoong’s enlistment to the military. He didn’t know if it was rumor or real. If it was real, would he really have to wait for another 2 years to see him in person? Can he really hold out that long? Wasn’t five years long enough for them not to see each other face to face?
What would happen if they meet? Cry? Hug each other? Telling each other how they missed one another? Or would they be angry? Yelling at each other? Telling each other how one was right and the other was wrong?
Yunho was afraid of that. He didn’t want to give damage to their already broken friendship. What should he do? He didn’t know.
One thing he could do: Picking up the phone and let the fate work her wonders on them.
A/N: I'm sorry if they're all over the place. I haven't been writing for quite sometime. And HAPPY HALLOWEEN!