Explain?

[hils]

What is this Twilight thing people keep talking about on my flist? All I've been able to determine is that the latest book is crap and that there is going to be a TV show (which also looks crap)

What's all the fuss about?

Comments

[chickadilly]

You totally should - they're pretty amusing.

And I just realized my rants probably won't make a lot of sense if you're not familar with the basic plot of the books.

Basically - girl meets vampire who *~*~Sparkles*~*~ in the sun. Unlike every other vampire story told before these vampires can go out in the sun - but they sparkle like WHOA when they do. Meyers spends a lot of time describing just how BEAUTIFUL AND GORGEOUS AND AMAZING Edward is. Over and over again.

Anyway, about ten billion pages of OMG HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL happen before some of the bad vampires (because Edward and his vampire 'family' are good vampires and only eat animal blood) captures Bella and ... I don't even remember but she comes out okay. But not after falling down a lot and having to be rescued a lot.

In the second book Edward decides to break up with Bella for her own good because she's too tempting for him. See, her blood smells SOOPER DOOPER sweet and he wants to eat her. So there are pages and pages of him being all angsty because he LURVES her (because their LURVE IS THE BEST LURVE OF ALL TIME - NO ONE HAS EVAR LURVED THE WAY THEY HAVE. EVAR.) So how does our little Bella react to him breaking up with her?

She faints in the woods. Then she decides she can't live and does nothing for four months but basically MOPE. (This is described by blank pages that read 'October' - 'November" ect. ect. THEN once she decides to actually get off her ass and do something she starts hallucinating that she's hearing his voice in her head - but only when she's in danger. (Which is often because the girl can't go two pages without falling down or needing rescuing) So she does all kinds of stupid shit = LIKE JUMPING OFF A CLIFF - so she can hear his voice in her head.

There's other stuff too- like Bella saying she has to have a man in her life, babies (because women can't be happy without having babies, ya see) and a LURVE triangle with a werewolf that gets solved in this latest book by the werewolf falling in LURVE with Bella and Edward's newborn baby. No. I'm not even kidding.

*ahem* I'll stop ranting now on your LJ. LOL

[hils]

OMG! That sounds hilarious! And Bella sounds like everything I despise in badly written female characters

[chickadilly]

Bella is the biggest Mary Sue who ever Mary Sue'd. LOL

I think if you go into reading the books for the LULZ factor you won't be disappointed - but when i first read them I wasn't aware that was how to read them so I found them pretty much offensive. I will say that despite the fact that they're poorly written they are like crack. I litterally couldn't put them down when I read - even though I wanted to throw things while I did read. LOL

This latest one though ... *shudders* ... I thought I would be reading for the LULZ (because I knew all of the spoilers beforehand) but I was more offended than anything.

But I'd rec' Cleolinda's recaps more than the books - they are full of LULZ.

Oh and i just saw your newest post. Heh. I got defriended for saying these books are crap the other day too!

[hils]

Hee! I just read Cleolinda's posts. Awesome!

I don't need to read the books now ;)