Oragel is you friend
Oh how I do love anesthetics! Especially in my mouth! So..here's the low down in my vie lately kiddos. I've been pretty much owning nursing school and making it my little bitch. And I p-wronged(instead of pr-ed) in my first ATR. I don't want to post, but let me just say, I was with the fat and old, and fat old people. So yeah, but since then, I've been totally lazy.
But to get to the real reason of why I've decided to write on this thing....School. Always, school bitches. And I don't remember but I'm pretty sure I have the same complaint. Here's what happened: So I was at clinicals today, the first day in the hospital, which I was greatly looking forward to after the pretty much wretched experience at the nursing home. And to my sort-of surprise, it wasn't really any different. Okay, heres the deal....I'm so fucking scared that I made the wrong decision. I truly don't feel cut out for nursing in the most disturbing way. Most of the people not doing well in nursing school can't handle the tests, the material, the pace whatever, but they (generally)love clinicals. I HATE CLINICALS! ISN'T THAT SCARY? I feel like I'm being totally unfair to my patients and instructors because I don't want to be there and as hard as I try I don't feel like I'm trying my best. Don't get my wrong I love everything about the theory part of school, but when it comes to hands on things...I'm very very awkward. It's not that the patients and the grunt work grosses me out, its just that I have absolutely no desire to do it. I cringe at the thought of it. I count the minutes until its over. Is that really how a nurse should be? Don't I owe it to patients to rethink this, less I become yet another of those complacent apathetic nurses?
So today I started thinking about my options. When I first started feeling this way(which was quite a while ago) I stuck to my guns. "I will stick this out" I thought. But now, I'm not so sure. I've pretty much decided that I want to get a Ph.D degree in Basic Medical Science (a research and teaching degree through the college of medecine) after I graduate, but now I wondering if I should continue in nursing. The way it is...I have one more year of nursing school, then perhaps two years or more of pre-reqs before I can start grad school. But what if I were to transfer out of nursing into say BMD. It would definitely be a step back, but after I graduate perhaps in 2 or 3 years, I will be totally ready for grad school or I could get a job. "Dropping out" of nursing school, as it is called, is quite something to everyone around me. Curt was quite opposed to the idea of me "changing majors" and postulated that I quit everything I start as soon as it gets hard. Which is TRUE, to some extent.
And then there is my Dad, who said to me this afternoon, "This is like boot camp. Nobody likes it, you just have to do it". I really shouldn't be minding my dad at 21, but hey, the guy is brilliant and quite frankly he pays for everything.
So what do I do. I know there are definitely pros and cons to both. And I realize that I haven't really given nursing a chance. These things come with time. But I don't know if I want to continue to spend my time being unhappy (during clinicals) only to get out of school and have to BE A NURSE???!!!!
But to get to the real reason of why I've decided to write on this thing....School. Always, school bitches. And I don't remember but I'm pretty sure I have the same complaint. Here's what happened: So I was at clinicals today, the first day in the hospital, which I was greatly looking forward to after the pretty much wretched experience at the nursing home. And to my sort-of surprise, it wasn't really any different. Okay, heres the deal....I'm so fucking scared that I made the wrong decision. I truly don't feel cut out for nursing in the most disturbing way. Most of the people not doing well in nursing school can't handle the tests, the material, the pace whatever, but they (generally)love clinicals. I HATE CLINICALS! ISN'T THAT SCARY? I feel like I'm being totally unfair to my patients and instructors because I don't want to be there and as hard as I try I don't feel like I'm trying my best. Don't get my wrong I love everything about the theory part of school, but when it comes to hands on things...I'm very very awkward. It's not that the patients and the grunt work grosses me out, its just that I have absolutely no desire to do it. I cringe at the thought of it. I count the minutes until its over. Is that really how a nurse should be? Don't I owe it to patients to rethink this, less I become yet another of those complacent apathetic nurses?
So today I started thinking about my options. When I first started feeling this way(which was quite a while ago) I stuck to my guns. "I will stick this out" I thought. But now, I'm not so sure. I've pretty much decided that I want to get a Ph.D degree in Basic Medical Science (a research and teaching degree through the college of medecine) after I graduate, but now I wondering if I should continue in nursing. The way it is...I have one more year of nursing school, then perhaps two years or more of pre-reqs before I can start grad school. But what if I were to transfer out of nursing into say BMD. It would definitely be a step back, but after I graduate perhaps in 2 or 3 years, I will be totally ready for grad school or I could get a job. "Dropping out" of nursing school, as it is called, is quite something to everyone around me. Curt was quite opposed to the idea of me "changing majors" and postulated that I quit everything I start as soon as it gets hard. Which is TRUE, to some extent.
And then there is my Dad, who said to me this afternoon, "This is like boot camp. Nobody likes it, you just have to do it". I really shouldn't be minding my dad at 21, but hey, the guy is brilliant and quite frankly he pays for everything.
So what do I do. I know there are definitely pros and cons to both. And I realize that I haven't really given nursing a chance. These things come with time. But I don't know if I want to continue to spend my time being unhappy (during clinicals) only to get out of school and have to BE A NURSE???!!!!