Did you see the lights as they fell around you, did you hear the music of serenade from the stars?
Sometimes when we look back at our lives we begin to see all the things we took for granted. I see so many things in my life that I not only took for granted but that I actually resented. I spent so much of my life being an idealist and hoping and waiting for the best of life to come that I missed when good things in my life passed me. Gone is the innocence of my childhood that kept me company at nights with the dreams of castles and endless joy. Gone is the faith that the stars would guide me and lead me on a path towards my future. Gone is the belief that everything and everyone is exactly how they seem.
I say all of this not to dwell upon what I have lost, but more so to try and recapture even a hint of my childhood dreams. I do not feel at all that my life is one showing any hints of misery or sadness but merely one lacking all of the idealistic hope that it once possessed. I wish I could find that child that I used to be, the one that would read the stars and speak to the wind. The child that believed so much in her parents and waited with anticipation for the sound of the rain as if it had the power to wash away life's impurities. The child that would sit up all night and write poems to share with the world so that they too could see the blinding hopes and dreams that she saw when she closed her eyes or looked to the sky.
I know not all is completely lost because I still possess that desire to live in that world that I once spent all of my time in. But life seems to always steal it from my grasps with sarcasm, and doubt and the 'life sucks-then you die' mentality. Whatever happened to following your dreams? What happened hoping for the best in life? Oh God, I need to hold on to that. I know its out there and I know that its part of who I once was. I can't let life steal my innocence and my idealistic hopes for the future; I can't let it steal all of my hope. A part of me still wants to believe that what the wind told me as a child was not a lie, and that true love never, never dies. I once lost all my hopes only to have them replaced by new hopes, and I don't want to completely lose all that I have regained. God give me the strength to rebuilt that castle of hope that I once spent my life constructing. I do not want to be another casualty of the world; completely succumbed to pessimism. I need that hope, I need those dreams.
I say all of this not to dwell upon what I have lost, but more so to try and recapture even a hint of my childhood dreams. I do not feel at all that my life is one showing any hints of misery or sadness but merely one lacking all of the idealistic hope that it once possessed. I wish I could find that child that I used to be, the one that would read the stars and speak to the wind. The child that believed so much in her parents and waited with anticipation for the sound of the rain as if it had the power to wash away life's impurities. The child that would sit up all night and write poems to share with the world so that they too could see the blinding hopes and dreams that she saw when she closed her eyes or looked to the sky.
I know not all is completely lost because I still possess that desire to live in that world that I once spent all of my time in. But life seems to always steal it from my grasps with sarcasm, and doubt and the 'life sucks-then you die' mentality. Whatever happened to following your dreams? What happened hoping for the best in life? Oh God, I need to hold on to that. I know its out there and I know that its part of who I once was. I can't let life steal my innocence and my idealistic hopes for the future; I can't let it steal all of my hope. A part of me still wants to believe that what the wind told me as a child was not a lie, and that true love never, never dies. I once lost all my hopes only to have them replaced by new hopes, and I don't want to completely lose all that I have regained. God give me the strength to rebuilt that castle of hope that I once spent my life constructing. I do not want to be another casualty of the world; completely succumbed to pessimism. I need that hope, I need those dreams.