Month Four
This month was that of my required community rotation. I was placed at a lovely little independent store in Norman, and thank God for that. I've been working in retail pharmacy for over two years now, and there's just not that much difference between Walgreens and any other place. Although the slow pace and the personal knowledge of the customers is an interesting aside, it's a lot of the same. Tomorrow (or today, really), I have my community exam, for which it is proving difficult to study. Three months without a true exam is a long time, and I've forgotten how to study. So, I'm writing a journal entry instead.
I'm still dead-set on a residency in cardiology, but now that the time has come to really prepare to apply, I'm terrified. I have never in memory wanted something this much. I've wanted things, sure, but they were usually perfectly within my grasp. This residency application process is out of my control. THEY have to want ME, and I'm awful at interviewing. I can recall two job interviews in which I talked people out of hiring me. That would be a bad move at this point. I'm quite overwhelmed by everything. Do I stay in OKC? Do I expand my opportunities by applying elsewhere? If so, where? If it's only for a year, and then I plan to move back here, should I go on my own, or drag G and the dogs and all our junk with me? Is Soylent Green really people? Too many questions, no answers! At least not right now.
In reality, worst case scenario: I don't get a residency. I apply to Walgreens, work there for a year, build a sizable nest egg, and try again. That's not a bad contingency plan at all. But I want the residency.
I'm still dead-set on a residency in cardiology, but now that the time has come to really prepare to apply, I'm terrified. I have never in memory wanted something this much. I've wanted things, sure, but they were usually perfectly within my grasp. This residency application process is out of my control. THEY have to want ME, and I'm awful at interviewing. I can recall two job interviews in which I talked people out of hiring me. That would be a bad move at this point. I'm quite overwhelmed by everything. Do I stay in OKC? Do I expand my opportunities by applying elsewhere? If so, where? If it's only for a year, and then I plan to move back here, should I go on my own, or drag G and the dogs and all our junk with me? Is Soylent Green really people? Too many questions, no answers! At least not right now.
In reality, worst case scenario: I don't get a residency. I apply to Walgreens, work there for a year, build a sizable nest egg, and try again. That's not a bad contingency plan at all. But I want the residency.