Rotations
I'm on month two of nine nonconsecutive months of pharmacy rotations. This month I'm at the Poison Control Center, which is about as boring as possible. I'm sure there's something out there that's more boring than this, as it does have the occasional panic-inducing or cringe-worthy phone call. They range from the mundane (2-year-olds eating dog food) to the hilarious (your general crazy-person paranoia calls) to the terrifying (overdoses of illicit drugs, self-harm overdoses from kids who had fights with mom/dad/boyfriend/girlfriend). Luckily most calls are completely mundane, almost all toddlers who get into something that's going to upset their stomach, but not much else. In the end, it's a desk job, and not something that I could ever do. That, and when a toddler DOES get into something serious, it breaks my heart.
Last month I was at a heart failure clinic. And in that, I think I found my calling. Or at least, what I would like to think is my calling. At any rate, I loved it. It was also heartbreaking, but it was emotional in a way that I could share with the patients and feel fulfilled through. I was good at it (or so I was told), and I enjoyed it, and it was wonderful to actually care about people again, instead of trying to get them out of the pharmacy asfastaspossible. Although the idea comes very unnaturally to me, I feel like I could do this, earn a good living, and love it at the same time. I always thought a person could either be a starving artist, or sell their soul and provide for their family/live comfortably. Being practical, I chose the latter. But with this career, I could keep my soul, keep my compassion, use my skills and earn a good buck. The only catch: two more years of extra training to get a specialty cert in cardiology. A residency. Described to me as a sort of pharmacy boot camp. I'm tired of school, and as I'm prone to depression, somewhat terrified of that much pressure. But, two years of potential hell for a career of potential fulfillment seems like a good deal compared to my current deal, which is immediate misery at big corporate pharmacy, offset by a fat paycheck. In addition to being practical, I tend to think of the far-flung future consequences of things. A residency it is. If I'm accepted.
It's an exciting thing. I already have people pulling for me in the College, the pharmacists and doctor who supervised the clinic rotation. And don't get me wrong. I like my current job at big corporate pharmacy just fine. But it's busy, hard on the body, hard on the soul. People can be cruel, it is retail after all. It's not something I want to do for the rest of my life.
So, a residency. In the end, I'll have a specialty, be a clinician and quite possibly a faculty member. The faculty member part of the equation freaks me out the most, but perhaps if someone would teach me how to teach, it could be workable. It's a big change in my life, even if it hasn't happened yet. My entire vision of my future has been altered. It's an odd feeling.
Last month I was at a heart failure clinic. And in that, I think I found my calling. Or at least, what I would like to think is my calling. At any rate, I loved it. It was also heartbreaking, but it was emotional in a way that I could share with the patients and feel fulfilled through. I was good at it (or so I was told), and I enjoyed it, and it was wonderful to actually care about people again, instead of trying to get them out of the pharmacy asfastaspossible. Although the idea comes very unnaturally to me, I feel like I could do this, earn a good living, and love it at the same time. I always thought a person could either be a starving artist, or sell their soul and provide for their family/live comfortably. Being practical, I chose the latter. But with this career, I could keep my soul, keep my compassion, use my skills and earn a good buck. The only catch: two more years of extra training to get a specialty cert in cardiology. A residency. Described to me as a sort of pharmacy boot camp. I'm tired of school, and as I'm prone to depression, somewhat terrified of that much pressure. But, two years of potential hell for a career of potential fulfillment seems like a good deal compared to my current deal, which is immediate misery at big corporate pharmacy, offset by a fat paycheck. In addition to being practical, I tend to think of the far-flung future consequences of things. A residency it is. If I'm accepted.
It's an exciting thing. I already have people pulling for me in the College, the pharmacists and doctor who supervised the clinic rotation. And don't get me wrong. I like my current job at big corporate pharmacy just fine. But it's busy, hard on the body, hard on the soul. People can be cruel, it is retail after all. It's not something I want to do for the rest of my life.
So, a residency. In the end, I'll have a specialty, be a clinician and quite possibly a faculty member. The faculty member part of the equation freaks me out the most, but perhaps if someone would teach me how to teach, it could be workable. It's a big change in my life, even if it hasn't happened yet. My entire vision of my future has been altered. It's an odd feeling.