close my eyes just to look at you
Lately I've been avoiding everything.
Avoiding roleplay, avoiding cleaning, avoiding eating, avoiding friends.
Avoiding the past.
Just.
Why is it that I miss things so badly, and I feel so guilty for disappearing the way I do.
And then when I make the effort to try and go back, to take back the things I want.
Take back what I love that I used to have.
I'm too scared to speak.
I write and rewrite an IM.
Before deleting it.
A text.
A phonecall.
It's so simple.
But I'm too scared to do it.
I'm just not sure why.
And so I remain a ghost.
I'm here, you guys.
I love you all.
I miss you all.
You just can't see me.
Avoiding roleplay, avoiding cleaning, avoiding eating, avoiding friends.
Avoiding the past.
Just.
Why is it that I miss things so badly, and I feel so guilty for disappearing the way I do.
And then when I make the effort to try and go back, to take back the things I want.
Take back what I love that I used to have.
I'm too scared to speak.
I write and rewrite an IM.
Before deleting it.
A text.
A phonecall.
It's so simple.
But I'm too scared to do it.
I'm just not sure why.
And so I remain a ghost.
I'm here, you guys.
I love you all.
I miss you all.
You just can't see me.