SAYONARA
Pairing: Daigo Nishihata X Masakado Yoshinori
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Romance
Summary : Daigo was gone and re-enter Masakado's life, but not to change the situation.
A/n : at least 90% of this is based on true events, but I can tell you which one :)
this is the first time I write in Masakado's pov
"Yes, we're connected, but, you are just not my type,"
I can recall how many time the words resounding in my system, I was trying so hard to understand, yet to look up to one missing moment of how I did wrong,
he was away from me once, then he's getting back to me after what was happen, I thought everything was going to be okay, we could start over, but I was wrong.
He would never love me.
"It is so hard to find someone who is actually understand you, someone who clique, it is hard for him to find someone like me at first but he find me eventually," He explain vigorously, his eyes gleeming, putting his awkward smile as usual.
I understand you, why can't you be with me?
" What happen to you? " He ask, completely blunt, I stare at his face a while then reply,
" Nothing," fixing my sitting position, it was a rather gloomy day after rehearshal, we sat on the cushioned arm chair in nearby coffee-shop, Daigo's new favorite place,
" I just don't understand you sometimes, you know."
"I'm fine, okay, Daigo," I shrugged, " I just don't understand why can't I become your priority,"
"This only because I didn't reply your text? I was tired, I go straight to sleep as soon as I got home,"
"No, you didn't, I know it precisely,"
"So what's your problem? you know what you are too possessive as a friend"
because I want more than that
"You know how much it hurts to know that you are not important to people,"
"You are being unreasonable," he frown, carefully sipped on his coffee
I do have a reason, I want you
" I just don't know why I'm doing this anymore, I'm tired," I sigh, pushing my lips to the back forcing a smile.
"Cut it off, Masakado,"
"just no matter how hard I tried, it just wasn't enough," I smile again
I swear I shouldn't let him come into my life again, the moment that he choose Ren over me, the one who always by his side, the moment when he choose someone else over me who love him them most, I know I should have let him go forever, and not letting him back to my life again.
I shouldn't bought the "Ren was leaving me tearing down, and I couldn't even function after he did so,"
and I shouldn't bought the reason Ren left him is only because he was just bored,
if I'm a multi million idol with face pasted almost everywhere, I, too, will be bored, by local superstar like Daigo, myself, and the very moment he was taken Daigo away from me it was already obvious, that he didn't have the love that I always have for Daigo,
"Kojima again? " He raised his eyebrow, " He's just too blunt, he won't notice your feelings,"
"But I love him,"
"Yeah but he's not, or much I concern, he's not, how long are you gonna wait for him?" he shook his head
"Forever," I stated firmly, taking a gulp on my greentea
"Just go find someone else," He suggested, folding his hand on the table, as he stares at me closely,
" I don't want to, I was so sure that I will love Kojima, I have devoted my self to love him, but you know what, you come to my life again, and now I can't have you, and my feelings for him also fading away, now what do you think I should do?" I ask him, return the stare he gave me, I swear a bead of tears start forming at the corner of my eyes.
"So, what do you want?" He asked, straighten up himself.
I want to be with you
"I don't know,"
"Look Masakado, I was just trying to be friends with you again,"
friends who hold hands, friends who leaned his shoulder at one another,Friends that sexually lured each other, THAT kind of friends you mean?
"I have enough friends, I don't need any addition" I answered him, my voice getting hoarser and hoarser.
"Don't be like that,"
"Can you even try?" I lean further to his side
"Trying what?" he raised his eyebrow
"Try to love me, am I so bad that you can't even try?"
"You are not bad, you're just not my type," He declared, calmly, very...calmly
and I was fall to silence, true, it is his rights to have a certain qualification, I, myself quiet picky at some point
" So what can I do about it? I'm...I'm hopeless,"
" No worries I also have a friend who's hopeless just like you,"
"Stop, please stop relating me with Koja,"
"I just want to tell you, you are not the only one feeling that way," he try to explain but I cut him,
"Can you see it just hurt me more than you already did?"
"fine, I'm sorry,"
"You know what, it's me that should be sorry," drifting my gaze away from him, I try to hold my tear the best that I could.
"What do you mean?"
"I think your life will be better without me," I look back at him
"Well, if it's your decision," He shrugged a little sipping the already cold- hot cappucino, " it's a goodbye then," again, calmly
"Yes, Daigo," I stated, as calm as I could
"So... sayonara," He finished his cup, clapping his hands together
"Yeah, I can't pretend to be happy with you seeing someone else," I added,
"Don't pretend, it's okay," He got up from his seat, bowing, then turning his heels away.
and just like that, he disappear from my life, again, and now, forever.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst, Romance
Summary : Daigo was gone and re-enter Masakado's life, but not to change the situation.
A/n : at least 90% of this is based on true events, but I can tell you which one :)
this is the first time I write in Masakado's pov
"Yes, we're connected, but, you are just not my type,"
I can recall how many time the words resounding in my system, I was trying so hard to understand, yet to look up to one missing moment of how I did wrong,
he was away from me once, then he's getting back to me after what was happen, I thought everything was going to be okay, we could start over, but I was wrong.
He would never love me.
"It is so hard to find someone who is actually understand you, someone who clique, it is hard for him to find someone like me at first but he find me eventually," He explain vigorously, his eyes gleeming, putting his awkward smile as usual.
I understand you, why can't you be with me?
" What happen to you? " He ask, completely blunt, I stare at his face a while then reply,
" Nothing," fixing my sitting position, it was a rather gloomy day after rehearshal, we sat on the cushioned arm chair in nearby coffee-shop, Daigo's new favorite place,
" I just don't understand you sometimes, you know."
"I'm fine, okay, Daigo," I shrugged, " I just don't understand why can't I become your priority,"
"This only because I didn't reply your text? I was tired, I go straight to sleep as soon as I got home,"
"No, you didn't, I know it precisely,"
"So what's your problem? you know what you are too possessive as a friend"
because I want more than that
"You know how much it hurts to know that you are not important to people,"
"You are being unreasonable," he frown, carefully sipped on his coffee
I do have a reason, I want you
" I just don't know why I'm doing this anymore, I'm tired," I sigh, pushing my lips to the back forcing a smile.
"Cut it off, Masakado,"
"just no matter how hard I tried, it just wasn't enough," I smile again
I swear I shouldn't let him come into my life again, the moment that he choose Ren over me, the one who always by his side, the moment when he choose someone else over me who love him them most, I know I should have let him go forever, and not letting him back to my life again.
I shouldn't bought the "Ren was leaving me tearing down, and I couldn't even function after he did so,"
and I shouldn't bought the reason Ren left him is only because he was just bored,
if I'm a multi million idol with face pasted almost everywhere, I, too, will be bored, by local superstar like Daigo, myself, and the very moment he was taken Daigo away from me it was already obvious, that he didn't have the love that I always have for Daigo,
"Kojima again? " He raised his eyebrow, " He's just too blunt, he won't notice your feelings,"
"But I love him,"
"Yeah but he's not, or much I concern, he's not, how long are you gonna wait for him?" he shook his head
"Forever," I stated firmly, taking a gulp on my greentea
"Just go find someone else," He suggested, folding his hand on the table, as he stares at me closely,
" I don't want to, I was so sure that I will love Kojima, I have devoted my self to love him, but you know what, you come to my life again, and now I can't have you, and my feelings for him also fading away, now what do you think I should do?" I ask him, return the stare he gave me, I swear a bead of tears start forming at the corner of my eyes.
"So, what do you want?" He asked, straighten up himself.
I want to be with you
"I don't know,"
"Look Masakado, I was just trying to be friends with you again,"
friends who hold hands, friends who leaned his shoulder at one another,Friends that sexually lured each other, THAT kind of friends you mean?
"I have enough friends, I don't need any addition" I answered him, my voice getting hoarser and hoarser.
"Don't be like that,"
"Can you even try?" I lean further to his side
"Trying what?" he raised his eyebrow
"Try to love me, am I so bad that you can't even try?"
"You are not bad, you're just not my type," He declared, calmly, very...calmly
and I was fall to silence, true, it is his rights to have a certain qualification, I, myself quiet picky at some point
" So what can I do about it? I'm...I'm hopeless,"
" No worries I also have a friend who's hopeless just like you,"
"Stop, please stop relating me with Koja,"
"I just want to tell you, you are not the only one feeling that way," he try to explain but I cut him,
"Can you see it just hurt me more than you already did?"
"fine, I'm sorry,"
"You know what, it's me that should be sorry," drifting my gaze away from him, I try to hold my tear the best that I could.
"What do you mean?"
"I think your life will be better without me," I look back at him
"Well, if it's your decision," He shrugged a little sipping the already cold- hot cappucino, " it's a goodbye then," again, calmly
"Yes, Daigo," I stated, as calm as I could
"So... sayonara," He finished his cup, clapping his hands together
"Yeah, I can't pretend to be happy with you seeing someone else," I added,
"Don't pretend, it's okay," He got up from his seat, bowing, then turning his heels away.
and just like that, he disappear from my life, again, and now, forever.