Barack Obama's Vagina: The October Surprise In His Pants

I'm starting to realize that this journal has mostly consisted of the Daily Show/Colbert Report quotes lately. And I'm okay with that.

Spent the night a) making (failed) toffee with mom and watching nature programs with Mike and Jimmy. The one about all the starving polar bears was depressing, but the wolf one was hilarious. Or at least, hilarious at 12:30 at night ( Read more... )

I married Dean Winchester today. We had a pair of twins, and then another baby girl, and then adopted two more twins. I became president, won the Nobel Peace Prize, and saved an endangered species, all while teetering on the brink of bankruptcy ( Read more... )

Back home for the weekend, and all is grand. I rode home with Mike, Jordan and Kyle, which is always interesting. Quote of the day:

"Dude, the guy in McDonald's had one of his arms in a sling... do you think that means he was only getting like... half-pay?"--Jordan

Yes.

So, I graduated at the right time. Apparently, there's been a massive herpes outbreak at my high school. Not even kidding.

It's kind of hilarious, actually.

Anyway, I'm halfway through the second disc of Season Two! My Lost marathon is going splendidly. Woot woot.

"Okay, write this down. Putting out lit cigarettes in the eyes of babies is wrong." Dr. Kronen today in Intro to Ethics

Favorite Crazy Aunt Nancy + Margaritas + Helen Keller jokes = win!

OH, so, I'm back already, because I just remembered this and I want everyone to read it so I'm putting it in an entirely different post because the one of three seconds ago is way totally tl;dr ( Read more... )

Last night I was flipping through channels and came across C-Span. They were in the U.S. Senate, and doing absolutely nothing. The headline at the bottom of the screen says that they were "waiting for a member to come to the floor and speak ( Read more... )

I was listening to the radio tonight on the way home, and they were playing Baby Got Back for some ungodly reason. I, of course, was totally rapping with it at the top of my lungs. It suddenly occurred to me that when I tell my future hypothetical teenagers their mom knows every word to that song, and that it is about butts, the horrified looks on ( Read more... )