do architects design car parks?
so, i went to gleneagles medical centre today for my eye checkup. it was only about close to an hour, about 20 rounds up and down and 5 inconsiderate f*ckers later that i managed to find a parking lot in the unmonitored, poorly designed carpark. which makes me wonder.. who the hell designs them carparks? is it really that hard to come up with a carpark that is logical and functional yet doesn't take up too much land space?
coupled with the fact that quite a large part of my social circle have (or are going to) traded this
for this
,
i think i'll take it upon myself to come up with a list of some of the most ridiculous carparks i have ever come across in our sunny island(and i dont travel to THAT many places). this list is by no means exhaustive, but do feel free to print it out or bookmark if you want, it helps to know about these dangers. trust me. without further ado... lets roll out the usual suspects.
*drumroll please*
The Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush, The Mulberry Bush, The Mulberry Bush, ..Eurghh!! Award..goes to the carpark of The Central in Clarke Quay. It's actually a quite decent carpark. Ample parking lots, well organised layout, the works. BUT. What's up with those circle x infinity spiralling ramps up and down that makes going up 6 storeys seem like 60? Going up or down this carpark should be made one of the selection tests for aspiring pilots. The G-forces produced in maneuvering the winding spirals of this carpark deem it a minor miracle if you manage to keep your dinner down in the process. Nauseating would be an understatement. If you've just eaten your fill at Billy Bombers or had an eat all you can sushi buffet at Waraku, good game to you.
Honourable mention: Square 2 at Novena. Haven't actually been to this carpark before, but I've heard its arguably worse or at the very least on par with Central.
The Is That A Small Hill Blocking My Exit? Oh Wait Its Only A Hump Award..goes to Bugis Junction carpark (Middle Road exit)! The hump there is pretty ridiculous. Its the ultimate jackass carpark if your ride has been lowered because you will DEFINITELY bua your undercarriage. CONFIRM CHOP STAMP. Fitted with bodykit? No need to say lah, confirm kena. I've even seen stock cars take the hump with only the minimum of clearances and the only (and last) time I've ever used that exit, I had to step on the gas to take my mom's Getz (auto transmission mind you) up that hump. Even if you don't have a bodykit, the human traffic there is insane.
Honourable mention: The slope+mega hump combo at Anchorpoint is quite sick as well but thankfully Anchorage is located conveniently enough for me to park in using the excuse of visiting a friend. And its free to boot! Thanks peipei:D
The Dude, Not Everyone Drives A Mini Cooper Award..goes to Queensway Shopping Centre! Not only does the carpark look shabby, crumbling pillars and leaking pipes and all, it has probably the smallest parking lots ever known to mankind. I've seen two MPVs try to park next to each other before. Well, that ended peacefully because one of the drivers (the male one..heheh) realised that it cannot be done. I usually have to squeeze my way out of my car to avoid banging my door into the next vehicle, and then crabwalk out of the lot. Should anyone be in my passenger seat, they may have to go through the extra step of climbing into the drivers seat and out the same way as me. The layout of the entire carpark is incredibly haphazard as well, with lots littered in the most random places. Its like they couldn't be bothered and simply shuffled the lots to fit anywhere that can... Think mahjong tiles.
Honourable mention: Shaw Centre. At least they had the sense to inscribe "For Small Vehicles Only" on the corner lots. Pity most Singaporeans cannot read and simply stuff their Camrys or Tucsons in there like its Christmas time.
The Driving School Was So Much Easier Award..goes to Wheelock Place carpark for its abnormally steep slope at the exit, and the strategically placed automated barrier right on top of that very slope. Not a problem for auto cars, but for those who are driving manual, that slope is a BITCH. Take it from me. But this is rather moot, because most sane people will pop over to the open air carpark just across the road and hang out for a few minutes to wait for lots since the per hour rate at Wheelock is probably equivalent to what the average Singaporean earns in the same amount of time. Reason why I don't like it? I'M A VICTIM. There are probably worse slopes around the island, but this one does it for me because I stalled on that slope...with a Lexus behind me no less. Thank god for handbrakes.
Honourable mention: Queensway Shopping Centre again. Not that I'm biased, this slope kills for two other reasons. Human traffic can be killer esp during lunchtime and the never ending stream of traffic coming from the Telok Blangah direction makes you remain inclined for extended periods. The redeeming factor is that the cashcard gantry is at the bottom of the slope.
The Gleneages Medical Centre Carpark Award..goes to the Gleneagles Medical Centre carpark. SURPRISE! Not the one you turn left directly into, it's the one after the little roundabout at the main lobby on your left. Why so? For one, the design of the carpark defies logic. The ramp that goes up and down is stuck in the middle of nowhere. And there's only one. If you were to bypass that ramp to search for parking lots on that level, you'll realise that there aren't any, so you have make a huge detour back to the ramp to try another level. It's just too weird. Secondly, the number of parking lots there is GROSSLY outweighed by the demand. I waited 45 minutes this morning for a parking lot. No joke. And saw the doctor for like 20 minutes. Its absurd. Thirdly, there's a signboard that says "CARPARK FULL" put at the side of the barrier into the carpark. But it is never used. Doesn't make sense does it? And because of the lack of monitoring and lack of parking space, you have inconsiderate fucktards who park at non-parking lots and causing a lot of inconvenience to people trying to find actual lots. And these frustrated people, because they cannot find parking space, decide to be fucktards as well and park at any hole their vehicle can fit into, causing even more inconvenience. And the cycle continues. Awesome carpark to say the least.
The Dude Where's My Car!? Award..goes to Suntec carpark. Or is it Marina Square carpark? Or is it Pan Pacific carpark? While the Gleneagles Medical Centre carpark is too limited in terms of parking lots, the carpark over at that general area near the Esplanade is WAY. TOO. BIG. I'm pretty sure there's even multiple levels worth of Red Zone. Its like, you can be absolutely sure you parked at Red Zone, but then you realise "wait, there's another Red Zone if I go down that ramp as well. And beyond that Green Zone, there's Red Zone again!" A helpful tip would be to keep in mind the shop nearest to the escalator that you came up from, and go down from there. The same number of levels. And retrace your steps. Of course that sorta backfired on me past midnight when all the exits at Marina Square were locked except for one....
Honourable mention: Marina Square. Or Pan Pacific. Ahh whatever.
The Mother Of All HDB Multistorey Carparks Award..goes to the MSCP in Pandan Valley! HDB has those nifty multistorey carpark thingys which have ramps going up and down on each end. Pretty well designed for moderate traffic flow, could get tricky when the volume of cars increase but generally okay. If you thought some of those ramps were a little tight on the width and turning radius, wait till you try the one at Pandan Valley. It's a private estate around Mt Sinai by the way, so whichever genius designed that carpark probably didn't think too much when he tried to emulate HDB's MSCP design. The corners of those killer ramps in Pandan Valley have victimised many medium sized to large cars that dare to pass. Even small cars need to take extra care when using those ramps. The battle scars tell the whole story. Go see for yourself.
The Turn Left Turn Right Award..goes to Shaw Centre carpark. Its a bizarre carpark, to say the least. Aside from the fact that the lots are pretty small (see above), the designers of this carpark have somehow made it such that people going up NEVER meet the people going down. Its a sorta cool, overlapping design that makes it uber confusing when you have to remember if you parked at the "Going Up" side or the "Going Down" side. You can be at the correct level number, but there are like two layers per level. Highly intriguing isn't it? To add further into this veil of mystique and mind-bogglingness of this carpark, there are two different lifts with different floor numbers leading to two different buildings. Anyhow, once you're used to it and you drive a small car like me, you'll probably learn to love this carpark. Why? Because it's one of the cheapest in town at $2.14 per entry after peak hours.
The Horn If You're Horny Award..goes to Parkway Parade carpark. Like the Gleneagles carpark, this is another one that shows how much thought was actually put into designing it, or if the designer even drives a car in the first place. The turning points are rather tricky on its own given that the ramps up and down are U-shaped, and it's doubly difficult given that the carpark is entirely two-way with no divider or kerb. Aside from maneuvering the turns, imba parking skills are necessary. During peak hours, when traffic volume is heavy, you have to park properly really fast in order to not hold up traffic in both directions. For the kanchiong driver, to park under such pressure situations can spell disaster. Take a little too long to get your car into the lot, and the cacophony of horns will start. And when the horning begins, said kanchiong driver will panick even more. Not a pretty sight. Thankfully I've never had problems parking there before when I need to, but most of the time I walk or cycle.
of course, there are probably many more famous carparks far in the Northern, Western and Central regions that are deserving of some of these awards. until i actually encounter any of them, this will be all for now. and im rly tired all of a sudden. THE END.
coupled with the fact that quite a large part of my social circle have (or are going to) traded this
for this
,
i think i'll take it upon myself to come up with a list of some of the most ridiculous carparks i have ever come across in our sunny island(and i dont travel to THAT many places). this list is by no means exhaustive, but do feel free to print it out or bookmark if you want, it helps to know about these dangers. trust me. without further ado... lets roll out the usual suspects.
*drumroll please*
The Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush, The Mulberry Bush, The Mulberry Bush, ..Eurghh!! Award..goes to the carpark of The Central in Clarke Quay. It's actually a quite decent carpark. Ample parking lots, well organised layout, the works. BUT. What's up with those circle x infinity spiralling ramps up and down that makes going up 6 storeys seem like 60? Going up or down this carpark should be made one of the selection tests for aspiring pilots. The G-forces produced in maneuvering the winding spirals of this carpark deem it a minor miracle if you manage to keep your dinner down in the process. Nauseating would be an understatement. If you've just eaten your fill at Billy Bombers or had an eat all you can sushi buffet at Waraku, good game to you.
Honourable mention: Square 2 at Novena. Haven't actually been to this carpark before, but I've heard its arguably worse or at the very least on par with Central.
The Is That A Small Hill Blocking My Exit? Oh Wait Its Only A Hump Award..goes to Bugis Junction carpark (Middle Road exit)! The hump there is pretty ridiculous. Its the ultimate jackass carpark if your ride has been lowered because you will DEFINITELY bua your undercarriage. CONFIRM CHOP STAMP. Fitted with bodykit? No need to say lah, confirm kena. I've even seen stock cars take the hump with only the minimum of clearances and the only (and last) time I've ever used that exit, I had to step on the gas to take my mom's Getz (auto transmission mind you) up that hump. Even if you don't have a bodykit, the human traffic there is insane.
Honourable mention: The slope+mega hump combo at Anchorpoint is quite sick as well but thankfully Anchorage is located conveniently enough for me to park in using the excuse of visiting a friend. And its free to boot! Thanks peipei:D
The Dude, Not Everyone Drives A Mini Cooper Award..goes to Queensway Shopping Centre! Not only does the carpark look shabby, crumbling pillars and leaking pipes and all, it has probably the smallest parking lots ever known to mankind. I've seen two MPVs try to park next to each other before. Well, that ended peacefully because one of the drivers (the male one..heheh) realised that it cannot be done. I usually have to squeeze my way out of my car to avoid banging my door into the next vehicle, and then crabwalk out of the lot. Should anyone be in my passenger seat, they may have to go through the extra step of climbing into the drivers seat and out the same way as me. The layout of the entire carpark is incredibly haphazard as well, with lots littered in the most random places. Its like they couldn't be bothered and simply shuffled the lots to fit anywhere that can... Think mahjong tiles.
Honourable mention: Shaw Centre. At least they had the sense to inscribe "For Small Vehicles Only" on the corner lots. Pity most Singaporeans cannot read and simply stuff their Camrys or Tucsons in there like its Christmas time.
The Driving School Was So Much Easier Award..goes to Wheelock Place carpark for its abnormally steep slope at the exit, and the strategically placed automated barrier right on top of that very slope. Not a problem for auto cars, but for those who are driving manual, that slope is a BITCH. Take it from me. But this is rather moot, because most sane people will pop over to the open air carpark just across the road and hang out for a few minutes to wait for lots since the per hour rate at Wheelock is probably equivalent to what the average Singaporean earns in the same amount of time. Reason why I don't like it? I'M A VICTIM. There are probably worse slopes around the island, but this one does it for me because I stalled on that slope...with a Lexus behind me no less. Thank god for handbrakes.
Honourable mention: Queensway Shopping Centre again. Not that I'm biased, this slope kills for two other reasons. Human traffic can be killer esp during lunchtime and the never ending stream of traffic coming from the Telok Blangah direction makes you remain inclined for extended periods. The redeeming factor is that the cashcard gantry is at the bottom of the slope.
The Gleneages Medical Centre Carpark Award..goes to the Gleneagles Medical Centre carpark. SURPRISE! Not the one you turn left directly into, it's the one after the little roundabout at the main lobby on your left. Why so? For one, the design of the carpark defies logic. The ramp that goes up and down is stuck in the middle of nowhere. And there's only one. If you were to bypass that ramp to search for parking lots on that level, you'll realise that there aren't any, so you have make a huge detour back to the ramp to try another level. It's just too weird. Secondly, the number of parking lots there is GROSSLY outweighed by the demand. I waited 45 minutes this morning for a parking lot. No joke. And saw the doctor for like 20 minutes. Its absurd. Thirdly, there's a signboard that says "CARPARK FULL" put at the side of the barrier into the carpark. But it is never used. Doesn't make sense does it? And because of the lack of monitoring and lack of parking space, you have inconsiderate fucktards who park at non-parking lots and causing a lot of inconvenience to people trying to find actual lots. And these frustrated people, because they cannot find parking space, decide to be fucktards as well and park at any hole their vehicle can fit into, causing even more inconvenience. And the cycle continues. Awesome carpark to say the least.
The Dude Where's My Car!? Award..goes to Suntec carpark. Or is it Marina Square carpark? Or is it Pan Pacific carpark? While the Gleneagles Medical Centre carpark is too limited in terms of parking lots, the carpark over at that general area near the Esplanade is WAY. TOO. BIG. I'm pretty sure there's even multiple levels worth of Red Zone. Its like, you can be absolutely sure you parked at Red Zone, but then you realise "wait, there's another Red Zone if I go down that ramp as well. And beyond that Green Zone, there's Red Zone again!" A helpful tip would be to keep in mind the shop nearest to the escalator that you came up from, and go down from there. The same number of levels. And retrace your steps. Of course that sorta backfired on me past midnight when all the exits at Marina Square were locked except for one....
Honourable mention: Marina Square. Or Pan Pacific. Ahh whatever.
The Mother Of All HDB Multistorey Carparks Award..goes to the MSCP in Pandan Valley! HDB has those nifty multistorey carpark thingys which have ramps going up and down on each end. Pretty well designed for moderate traffic flow, could get tricky when the volume of cars increase but generally okay. If you thought some of those ramps were a little tight on the width and turning radius, wait till you try the one at Pandan Valley. It's a private estate around Mt Sinai by the way, so whichever genius designed that carpark probably didn't think too much when he tried to emulate HDB's MSCP design. The corners of those killer ramps in Pandan Valley have victimised many medium sized to large cars that dare to pass. Even small cars need to take extra care when using those ramps. The battle scars tell the whole story. Go see for yourself.
The Turn Left Turn Right Award..goes to Shaw Centre carpark. Its a bizarre carpark, to say the least. Aside from the fact that the lots are pretty small (see above), the designers of this carpark have somehow made it such that people going up NEVER meet the people going down. Its a sorta cool, overlapping design that makes it uber confusing when you have to remember if you parked at the "Going Up" side or the "Going Down" side. You can be at the correct level number, but there are like two layers per level. Highly intriguing isn't it? To add further into this veil of mystique and mind-bogglingness of this carpark, there are two different lifts with different floor numbers leading to two different buildings. Anyhow, once you're used to it and you drive a small car like me, you'll probably learn to love this carpark. Why? Because it's one of the cheapest in town at $2.14 per entry after peak hours.
The Horn If You're Horny Award..goes to Parkway Parade carpark. Like the Gleneagles carpark, this is another one that shows how much thought was actually put into designing it, or if the designer even drives a car in the first place. The turning points are rather tricky on its own given that the ramps up and down are U-shaped, and it's doubly difficult given that the carpark is entirely two-way with no divider or kerb. Aside from maneuvering the turns, imba parking skills are necessary. During peak hours, when traffic volume is heavy, you have to park properly really fast in order to not hold up traffic in both directions. For the kanchiong driver, to park under such pressure situations can spell disaster. Take a little too long to get your car into the lot, and the cacophony of horns will start. And when the horning begins, said kanchiong driver will panick even more. Not a pretty sight. Thankfully I've never had problems parking there before when I need to, but most of the time I walk or cycle.
of course, there are probably many more famous carparks far in the Northern, Western and Central regions that are deserving of some of these awards. until i actually encounter any of them, this will be all for now. and im rly tired all of a sudden. THE END.