What does a thunder sounds like?
I went to the movies yesterday and saw "A Sound of Thunder". From looking at IMDB it turns out that this movie is more than a year old (which in retrospect explains a lot, but I'm getting ahead of myself).
Based on a short story by Ray Bradbury, which I haven't read, the movie tells a tale that takes place in 2025 when a time machine was built and is used to take rich people to the Cretaceous to hunt dinosaurs < dramatic voice> when something goes terribly wrong!!1 < /dramatic voice> and the course of evolution completely changes. Now our brave scientists have to fix things before it is too late and the entire human race will be extinct. The Simpsons had a short segment in one of their Halloween specials where a malfunctioning toaster took Homer back, where he was reminded in the advice his father gave him on his wedding night "if you ever go back in time don't step on anything because it can affect the world in ways you can't imagine". Needless to say this movie was not 1/20 as good as that Simpsons episode.
The changes in evolution, all caused by one dead butterfly, include such amazing scary animals such as the amazing cockroach, which is amazingly similar to a regular cockroach only it killed a person, vicious intelligent firs with thorns that either kill the human it entraps or cause his for delusions and paranoia, there are also marine dinosaurs that live in the subway but the pièce de résistance: a monkeysaurs!! These monkeysaurs had the benefits of 65 million years of evolution, and at the end are 1/2 t-rex 1/2 baboon sort-of-creature that built an amazing immunity to our heroes' main weapon -- liquid nitrogen.
I will spare you the rest of the crappy, crappy story. Suffice to say that it is beyond crap. I will also spare you details of the gory, gory acting that takes place in this movie. Suffice to say that this will not be the first line in Ben Kingsley's bio, and the rest of the cast seem to be German. The dialogs are brief but no less absurd with over acting at its worse. You thought Jeremy Irons was over-dramatic in Dungeons and Dragons -- you haven't seen nothing yet -- at least Irons managed to pull it off to a certain degree -- here everything falls to pieces right from the start. I will take a minute to talk about the movie's special effects which are the essence of this movie, you know -- with dinosaurs and time travel and all... They are bad. Bad with a capital, bolded B. Bad as in "Man, getting shot in the head with a shotgun is kinda bad". Bad as in George Bush asking "how bad will it get if I push my red little button?". Bad.
The first Jurassic Park was created in 1993. More than 12 years later, the technology advanced to a whole new level. Spielberg brought us life-looking dinosaurs in the JP sequels. Peter Jackson brought us Gollum and a renewed Kong. Gorodin brought us the magical transforming fireplace that turned to the entrance to hell -- but Peter Hyams chose a pathetic, pixelated version of a T-Rex as well as "evolved" animals that were taken straight out of the horrifying "Impossible Creatures" (and don't believe Gamespot on this one - it's a bad game. Bad as in ... Okay, you got the gist of it). I think the worst part of it all was the amateur way they used the blue-screen technique. They would be better off if they had the background painted on a big roll of paper and have it roll the opposite way as the actors go down the street. It looked so fake, so cut&paste that I felt sorry for the people who signed for this job.
But all in all, this was not the sort of movie-torture like Van-Helsing or The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen provided, of course, you are seeing the movie with someone you can share the suffering with (and making a few jokes on the way).
It is definitely not a movie to see in the theaters. Or on DVD. Or Cables. Or download from the internet. But if you happen to walk down the street and fall down a well (or something of the sort) and you now need to wait for Lassie to go get help you can watch this movie -- you will definitely have something to complain about when they rescue you.
Based on a short story by Ray Bradbury, which I haven't read, the movie tells a tale that takes place in 2025 when a time machine was built and is used to take rich people to the Cretaceous to hunt dinosaurs < dramatic voice> when something goes terribly wrong!!1 < /dramatic voice> and the course of evolution completely changes. Now our brave scientists have to fix things before it is too late and the entire human race will be extinct. The Simpsons had a short segment in one of their Halloween specials where a malfunctioning toaster took Homer back, where he was reminded in the advice his father gave him on his wedding night "if you ever go back in time don't step on anything because it can affect the world in ways you can't imagine". Needless to say this movie was not 1/20 as good as that Simpsons episode.
The changes in evolution, all caused by one dead butterfly, include such amazing scary animals such as the amazing cockroach, which is amazingly similar to a regular cockroach only it killed a person, vicious intelligent firs with thorns that either kill the human it entraps or cause his for delusions and paranoia, there are also marine dinosaurs that live in the subway but the pièce de résistance: a monkeysaurs!! These monkeysaurs had the benefits of 65 million years of evolution, and at the end are 1/2 t-rex 1/2 baboon sort-of-creature that built an amazing immunity to our heroes' main weapon -- liquid nitrogen.
I will spare you the rest of the crappy, crappy story. Suffice to say that it is beyond crap. I will also spare you details of the gory, gory acting that takes place in this movie. Suffice to say that this will not be the first line in Ben Kingsley's bio, and the rest of the cast seem to be German. The dialogs are brief but no less absurd with over acting at its worse. You thought Jeremy Irons was over-dramatic in Dungeons and Dragons -- you haven't seen nothing yet -- at least Irons managed to pull it off to a certain degree -- here everything falls to pieces right from the start. I will take a minute to talk about the movie's special effects which are the essence of this movie, you know -- with dinosaurs and time travel and all... They are bad. Bad with a capital, bolded B. Bad as in "Man, getting shot in the head with a shotgun is kinda bad". Bad as in George Bush asking "how bad will it get if I push my red little button?". Bad.
The first Jurassic Park was created in 1993. More than 12 years later, the technology advanced to a whole new level. Spielberg brought us life-looking dinosaurs in the JP sequels. Peter Jackson brought us Gollum and a renewed Kong. Gorodin brought us the magical transforming fireplace that turned to the entrance to hell -- but Peter Hyams chose a pathetic, pixelated version of a T-Rex as well as "evolved" animals that were taken straight out of the horrifying "Impossible Creatures" (and don't believe Gamespot on this one - it's a bad game. Bad as in ... Okay, you got the gist of it). I think the worst part of it all was the amateur way they used the blue-screen technique. They would be better off if they had the background painted on a big roll of paper and have it roll the opposite way as the actors go down the street. It looked so fake, so cut&paste that I felt sorry for the people who signed for this job.
But all in all, this was not the sort of movie-torture like Van-Helsing or The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen provided, of course, you are seeing the movie with someone you can share the suffering with (and making a few jokes on the way).
It is definitely not a movie to see in the theaters. Or on DVD. Or Cables. Or download from the internet. But if you happen to walk down the street and fall down a well (or something of the sort) and you now need to wait for Lassie to go get help you can watch this movie -- you will definitely have something to complain about when they rescue you.