(no subject)
It seems to me that people often want to be something they are not, that people want to change, not because the change would make them better, but simply because it's unattainable. Even more so, sometimes, they even think that this change might be the thing that they absolutely need in order "to make it". A harsher, colder look might reveal that they allow themselves to think that only because they believe they won't be able to achieve that change because who wants to run out of excuses?
Or maybe it's just me.
I wish I could be different in a whole lots of ways, that I could have a different, maybe slightly less cynical approach to life, that I could be less uptight and more easygoing. Deep down (or maybe not-so-deep) I know or suspect that these changes won't come, not at these magnitudes.
And so, I sometimes find myself envious of people exhibiting qualities I so clearly lack. Not because I think that having these qualities would make me a better person but because I don't have it, and chances are I won't have it anytime in the future.
The first, albeit rather extreme example is this jerk. [ via
belvane]. I recognize that in a morality ladder he would be one stage below ground, and I don't really want to be him or anything like him, but his approach to life is something that is so far from mine that I wish I could sometime employ just some of it.
The second, softer version is no less strange to me. It represents the "flowing with life" attitude, that is a killer for a control freak like me. Unlike the first example, I think that adopting some of this approach can actually make me a better person, but I find myself unable to accommodate, unless I'm under the influence. Lots of influence.
Just a fleeting thought: maybe such a change can only be accomplished with a change in environment. A kind of "reinventing oneself". And maybe it's just a romantic thought. i don't know
Or maybe it's just me.
I wish I could be different in a whole lots of ways, that I could have a different, maybe slightly less cynical approach to life, that I could be less uptight and more easygoing. Deep down (or maybe not-so-deep) I know or suspect that these changes won't come, not at these magnitudes.
And so, I sometimes find myself envious of people exhibiting qualities I so clearly lack. Not because I think that having these qualities would make me a better person but because I don't have it, and chances are I won't have it anytime in the future.
The first, albeit rather extreme example is this jerk. [ via
belvane]. I recognize that in a morality ladder he would be one stage below ground, and I don't really want to be him or anything like him, but his approach to life is something that is so far from mine that I wish I could sometime employ just some of it.
The second, softer version is no less strange to me. It represents the "flowing with life" attitude, that is a killer for a control freak like me. Unlike the first example, I think that adopting some of this approach can actually make me a better person, but I find myself unable to accommodate, unless I'm under the influence. Lots of influence.
Just a fleeting thought: maybe such a change can only be accomplished with a change in environment. A kind of "reinventing oneself". And maybe it's just a romantic thought. i don't know