Maggie Smith. Lady in the Van
A friend showed me a short humorous clip with Maggie Smith in it recently. Her name wasn't familiar to me, but her face and acting was. I really loved the actress and was sad to learn of her death. I looked up what are her most famous movies and decided to watch some of them, at least those that are available in our local library. I would say "The Lady in the Van" is the best and most memorable movie I watched in a long time. When I told that to the same friend who showed me the clip she tried to watch it but said it is too depressing and really hard to watch. No surprise here. I do tend to read and watch books and movies that are often too depressive and gloomy for other people.
Here is one really deep thought I got from watching this movie. A while ago a reader who read some of my blogs asked if going through years of life and health challenges made me more sympathetic to other people's challenges? Not really. Not until I worked for years on becoming mindful of myself, my life, my communication with other people. Not until it became my life's goal and I spent (and continue spending) many hours every day working on myself and my attitude towards life and other people.
This is not just my personal experience. For most of my life I was "blessed" being surrounded by people who went through tremendous life and health challenges. It definitely didn't make them more sympathetic to other people's challenges. Or at least, not on the deep level. Meaning, they may have been sympathetic to people who were not really close to them, but when it came to close relatives or close friends that was a different story. I've had a few of such long-term friends over the years. I didn't experience sympathy from them about my condition, mostly criticism and giving me lessons on what I do wrong, how I experience life in a wrong way and how I should behave. I was really blessed to discover meditation years ago and worked on making it my life style. The more and deeper I meditated the more I was able to feel myself and make sense of what makes me feel good and bad inside. Little by little I realized that I suffer from this kind of attitude and was able to drop those kinds of friendships.
Back to the movie. Mary Shepherd played by Maggie Smith has gone through tremendous life challenges for most of her life. She is now an old homeless lady who lives in a van. From the outside she appears to be a very selfish, pretty self-absorbed person who doesn't pay much attention to the people around her. As I was watching the movie I was struck by how she appeared to be a completely thankless person, even to the neighbor who is kind and compassionate to her and tries to make her life easier. I'm intimately familiar with this so called thanklessness and selfishness. It always comes from years of enduring so much life hardship that it basically "breaks" a person.
Anyway, this movie is a great illustration of my answer to the reader. Being more sympathetic and understanding of peoples' challenges doesn't come from facing your own life challenges. It does come from becoming mindful of your own life and its challenges.
December, 2024
Here is one really deep thought I got from watching this movie. A while ago a reader who read some of my blogs asked if going through years of life and health challenges made me more sympathetic to other people's challenges? Not really. Not until I worked for years on becoming mindful of myself, my life, my communication with other people. Not until it became my life's goal and I spent (and continue spending) many hours every day working on myself and my attitude towards life and other people.
This is not just my personal experience. For most of my life I was "blessed" being surrounded by people who went through tremendous life and health challenges. It definitely didn't make them more sympathetic to other people's challenges. Or at least, not on the deep level. Meaning, they may have been sympathetic to people who were not really close to them, but when it came to close relatives or close friends that was a different story. I've had a few of such long-term friends over the years. I didn't experience sympathy from them about my condition, mostly criticism and giving me lessons on what I do wrong, how I experience life in a wrong way and how I should behave. I was really blessed to discover meditation years ago and worked on making it my life style. The more and deeper I meditated the more I was able to feel myself and make sense of what makes me feel good and bad inside. Little by little I realized that I suffer from this kind of attitude and was able to drop those kinds of friendships.
Back to the movie. Mary Shepherd played by Maggie Smith has gone through tremendous life challenges for most of her life. She is now an old homeless lady who lives in a van. From the outside she appears to be a very selfish, pretty self-absorbed person who doesn't pay much attention to the people around her. As I was watching the movie I was struck by how she appeared to be a completely thankless person, even to the neighbor who is kind and compassionate to her and tries to make her life easier. I'm intimately familiar with this so called thanklessness and selfishness. It always comes from years of enduring so much life hardship that it basically "breaks" a person.
Anyway, this movie is a great illustration of my answer to the reader. Being more sympathetic and understanding of peoples' challenges doesn't come from facing your own life challenges. It does come from becoming mindful of your own life and its challenges.
December, 2024