(no subject)
it was unavoidable, and i need help so yesterday i came out of the "mental illness closet," i'm calling it. i told michelle and i told my mom that i need professional help, that i'm tired of all these irrational thoughts of suicide popping up in my head. there's nothing more that i hate than spewing my plague of problems on people, i've always been an introvert in that fashion. i just think that people have their own set of problems and pains to worry about, why should i just stack up their grief with my own set turmoil? that's not a good rationalization though, when you love someone and have a problem, it's kind of your duty to help your loved one with their problems. there's some invisible, silent contract you sign with your relatives and loved ones that love binds us to.
my mom is a really proactive person, after i told her that i want to get on an anti-depressant and our conversation ended she immediately jumped on the phone calling around to clinics to find out about pricing, trying to find a place that will diagnose and prescribe a mental health issue for someone without insurance or a decent source of income for a reasonable price. we found a place that bills on an income scale, with my current situation of full time student on unemployment, they will see me for $20 an appointment.
i'm grateful for my mom's help, but the appointment she scheduled is on my goddamn birthday. "happy birthday randy you suffer from manic depression!" i imagine that's what the doctor is going to tell me.
-randy
my mom is a really proactive person, after i told her that i want to get on an anti-depressant and our conversation ended she immediately jumped on the phone calling around to clinics to find out about pricing, trying to find a place that will diagnose and prescribe a mental health issue for someone without insurance or a decent source of income for a reasonable price. we found a place that bills on an income scale, with my current situation of full time student on unemployment, they will see me for $20 an appointment.
i'm grateful for my mom's help, but the appointment she scheduled is on my goddamn birthday. "happy birthday randy you suffer from manic depression!" i imagine that's what the doctor is going to tell me.
-randy