(no subject)
You wanna know what pisses me off the most, is someone can see me or talk to me on their own connivance. Its like uh.. I’m a pet or something, that I don’t have a life or something like that. Grr!! I just hate people like that, and they always seem to do that to me, like I’m just some damned person who will wait for them all. Like I was talking to this one person, right? And they were talking to this other person and then I just get left behind like I’m nothing, but then once they remember that there talking to me they’ll say something here and there, maybe every 10-15 minutes. And I’m just sitting there waiting for them to reply or something, but yet they never do. Also it ticks me off when a person can just sit there and say on how sorry that they are and blah, blah, blah, if you say that your sorry then I think you would’ve learned not to do it again, stupid ass. I’m just so pissed off, omg, you just don’t know. I just wanna like grr! Just stab someone, just once. Please let me stab someone just once, I promise that’ll be the only time that I’ll stab them *thinks in mind* ”cuz they wont be alive after that.” I just really need to vent and just go ugh! I’ve so much on my mind lately I just never had any time to just sit down and type it all out, ya know? So I will start now.
I hate Valentines day, I just hate it. I really don’t want to be at school that week of Valentines day, because of what happened. Knowing my luck it’ll hit me in school and I’ll just start crying and everyone will be like “what’s wrong” and I wont tell them anything because its not that important that everyone should know. I just hate it, I really do. That was my father the one that I look up to. I was his lil girl, his lil grand-daughter, I really don’t know how I’m gonna turn out without him. Its bad enough that I’ve gotta be there for grandma because she’s starting to go down hill just like he did. And this is going to harder on her than it will be on me. I know that it hasn’t hit me yet, because I’ve always gotta be there for my grandma and I really don’t mind that. Its just really weird, everyone is crying besides me. Its like, I want to cry, but I cant, it’s not there yet. I’m still waiting for him to come back from his visit to say oooh I’m was just playing you guys. But I know that’ll never happen. But you don’t know how bad I want it to. You don’t know how bad I just want to see him again, just to tell me that everything will be ok. I guess he’s the one who was my father, the one who protected me the most. Sometimes I wake up or walk in the door and there he is sitting on the couch, or I can hear him laying down in the bedroom, saying “Rachell” and here I come seeing what he wanted. I know that its going to hit me, I just know it. On Valentines day I’m going to spend most of my time at the funeral place just sitting down with a blanket and some lunch and just have lunch with him there, because it just wouldn’t feel right. The one thing that I don’t want to happen is my grandma going on Valentines day too. She doesn’t feel the greatest either. She just got out of the hospital like 2 weeks ago, and were waiting for her to go back. See on how my life is just full of ups and downs.
I just don’t know anymore. Like my friend dropped out of high school because he’s not going to graduate in time. And that’s really retarded. Not that its bugging me, I just think that its retarded and he needs to get slapped. *ponders for a long time* I’m trying to think of something else to say, that might have some importance. I’ve said most of it, and I would hate to make a really long post. So I guess this is for now until later.............
I hate Valentines day, I just hate it. I really don’t want to be at school that week of Valentines day, because of what happened. Knowing my luck it’ll hit me in school and I’ll just start crying and everyone will be like “what’s wrong” and I wont tell them anything because its not that important that everyone should know. I just hate it, I really do. That was my father the one that I look up to. I was his lil girl, his lil grand-daughter, I really don’t know how I’m gonna turn out without him. Its bad enough that I’ve gotta be there for grandma because she’s starting to go down hill just like he did. And this is going to harder on her than it will be on me. I know that it hasn’t hit me yet, because I’ve always gotta be there for my grandma and I really don’t mind that. Its just really weird, everyone is crying besides me. Its like, I want to cry, but I cant, it’s not there yet. I’m still waiting for him to come back from his visit to say oooh I’m was just playing you guys. But I know that’ll never happen. But you don’t know how bad I want it to. You don’t know how bad I just want to see him again, just to tell me that everything will be ok. I guess he’s the one who was my father, the one who protected me the most. Sometimes I wake up or walk in the door and there he is sitting on the couch, or I can hear him laying down in the bedroom, saying “Rachell” and here I come seeing what he wanted. I know that its going to hit me, I just know it. On Valentines day I’m going to spend most of my time at the funeral place just sitting down with a blanket and some lunch and just have lunch with him there, because it just wouldn’t feel right. The one thing that I don’t want to happen is my grandma going on Valentines day too. She doesn’t feel the greatest either. She just got out of the hospital like 2 weeks ago, and were waiting for her to go back. See on how my life is just full of ups and downs.
I just don’t know anymore. Like my friend dropped out of high school because he’s not going to graduate in time. And that’s really retarded. Not that its bugging me, I just think that its retarded and he needs to get slapped. *ponders for a long time* I’m trying to think of something else to say, that might have some importance. I’ve said most of it, and I would hate to make a really long post. So I guess this is for now until later.............