One day, you will come crawling back, To the same place that I've been...
Omg what is wrong with me?? Why am I nice to her after everything she's
put me through... I guess it's because of everything we've been through
too... I guess deep down I still want to be friends with her... Maybe I
just do things to intentionally hurt myself? Maybe I'm some kind of
sadistic person... no that's hurting other people... idk... lol.
She imed me today asking me to tell Mike something... apperantly they're all buddy buddy now... but I didn't just end the conversation... a part of me kept it going... and idk why... I yelled at myself for it... but I still did it... why... why can't i still be harsh to her??? I still know how she's hurt me, and that part is still incredibly upset with her... but a part of me wants to believe her lies and just remember the awesome times, and the times she's been there... I really want to know why... how... why would she do this to me... how could she twice after all we've been through... how?? How could she just throw it all away... maybe she thought by lying she would save our frienship.. but how could she think that after the first time?? Maybe she was scared? But if we were such good friends why would she be scared?? So many questions left unanswered... So much hurt still left decomposing in my heart... so many tears still drying eternially...
Betrayal, Betrayal,
It rips right through me,
How you lie right to me,
Betrayal, Betrayal,
Will this world make better sense?
Once you mean nothing to me...
You used to live in a memory,
Now those pictures are burning...now
You're a memory,
A fingerprint on the film,
You're a shadow in the sun,
Now it's your time to burn...
Betrayal, Betrayal,
It rips right through me,
How you lie right to me,
Betrayal, Betrayal,
Will this world make better sense?
Once you mean nothing to me...
One day, you will come crawling back,
To the same place that I've been...
(Betrayal- The Black Maria)
I'm out... got to get up at 4 tomorrow monring... Later...
She imed me today asking me to tell Mike something... apperantly they're all buddy buddy now... but I didn't just end the conversation... a part of me kept it going... and idk why... I yelled at myself for it... but I still did it... why... why can't i still be harsh to her??? I still know how she's hurt me, and that part is still incredibly upset with her... but a part of me wants to believe her lies and just remember the awesome times, and the times she's been there... I really want to know why... how... why would she do this to me... how could she twice after all we've been through... how?? How could she just throw it all away... maybe she thought by lying she would save our frienship.. but how could she think that after the first time?? Maybe she was scared? But if we were such good friends why would she be scared?? So many questions left unanswered... So much hurt still left decomposing in my heart... so many tears still drying eternially...
Betrayal, Betrayal,
It rips right through me,
How you lie right to me,
Betrayal, Betrayal,
Will this world make better sense?
Once you mean nothing to me...
You used to live in a memory,
Now those pictures are burning...now
You're a memory,
A fingerprint on the film,
You're a shadow in the sun,
Now it's your time to burn...
Betrayal, Betrayal,
It rips right through me,
How you lie right to me,
Betrayal, Betrayal,
Will this world make better sense?
Once you mean nothing to me...
One day, you will come crawling back,
To the same place that I've been...
(Betrayal- The Black Maria)
I'm out... got to get up at 4 tomorrow monring... Later...