(no subject)
Lives go but unnoticed daily. Hypocrites surround the atmosphere. You complain about nobody listening to your problems when you ignore problems that go on around you daily. Life is so precious and so fragile and short yet people never say the things they want to say or do the things they desire. I'm not going to lie because I do the same thing. Every time I'm on the phone with Nicole I want so badly to break the ice. I want to ask her why she never calls and tell her if there's anything she wants to know about me I'll tell her, but I just can't say it because I'm afraid. Why should I be afraid though? Why should anyone be afraid? Life's simply this: you live, you go through hundreds of phases, and then you die. And that's only if your lucky enough to survive in the middle. So what's a little rejection and embarrassment going to hurt? It just makes life a little bit less dull, right? Carpe' diem people!! Here I am sitting at my laptop and it's 2:00 in the morning and I'm having deeper thoughts than I ever would if I felt regular. I was just discussing this with my cousin yesterday. In the Wiccan beliefs the Lady was supposed to rule the night and Lord the day. Do you notice how night is so much more beautiful and magical than the day? Women are more beautiful and magical than men. Everything that happens happens at night or during the full moon. My cousin's a guy here by the way and he thinks that women are better creatures than men. He said that we were deeper and have beautiful spirits and were more exciting and abstract. Well, I could go on and on on thatsubject for days so lets move on, shall we? I sit day after day and just live Modest Mouse's quote:"For your sake I hope heaven and hell are really there but I wouldn't hold my breath. You wasted life why wouldn't you waste death." Do you get what I'm saying. I waste my life. I live and waste my time. It's rather depressing really. I feel like I'm never good enough. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just extremely selfish. Everyone is self centered to a certain extent though. If we weren't then we wouldn't even go to the bathroom,we shit in our pants and be completely apathetic to everything having to do with us. Maybe some of you do do that. To each their own, LOL. (That probably made no sense to you because you'd have to understand my thought process.) Well, I'll stop my bullshit now. What a way to end a first entry, huh?
-------- Stephanie
-------- Stephanie