A walk down memory lane
It's the 15 year anniversary of The X-Files premiere!
You know what this means.
MULDER: Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted.
SCULLY: The answers are there you just have to know where to look for them.
MULDER: That's why they put the "I" in FBI.
- 1x00 Pilot
SCULLY: Mulder, did you see their eyes? If I were that stoned . . .
MULDER: Oooh! If you were that stoned what!?
- 1x01 Deep Throat
SCULLY: Oh my God, Mulder, it's smells like, I think it's bile.
MULDER: Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?
- 1x02 Squeeze
SCULLY: Keep that up, Mulder, and I'll hurt you like that beast woman.
- 1x04 The Jersey Devil
MULDER: I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.
MULDER: Do you know how difficult it is to fake your own death? Only one man has pulled it off. Elvis.
MULDER: Hey Scully, do you believe in an afterlife?
SCULLY: I'd settle for a life in this one.
- 1x05 Shadows
MULDER: Now before anyone passes judgment, please keep in mind we're in the arctic. (re: shrinkage)
- 1x07 Ice
MULDER: One girl was just abducted.
SCULLY: Kidnapped.
MULDER: Pa-tay-toe, pah-tah-toe.
- 1x10 Eve
SCULLY: Did Boggs confess?
MULDER: No, no, it was five hours of Boggs' channeling. After three hours I asked him to summon up the soul of Jimmi Hendrix and requested 'All Along the Watchtower'. You know, the guy's been dead twenty years, but he still hasn't lost his edge.
- 1x12 Beyond the Sea
SCULLY: There's something up there, Mulder.
MULDER: I've been saying that for years.
- 1x13 Genderbender
SCULLY: Those were the most paranoid people I have ever met. I don't know how you could think that what they say is even remotely plausible.
MULDER: I think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot.
- 1x16 E.B.E
SCULLY: Fox . . .
MULDER: (laughs) I even made my parents call me Mulder. So . . . Mulder.
MULDER: If there's an ice tea in that bag, could be love.
SCULLY: Must be fate, Mulder. Root beer.
- 1x20 Tooms
SCULLY: Okay, Mulder, but I'm warning you . . . if this is monkey pee, you're on your own.
-1x23 Erlenmeyer Flask
SCULLY: Is this seat taken?
MULDER: No. But I should warn you, I'm experiencing violent impulses.
SCULLY: Well, I'm armed, so I'll take my chances.
- 2x02 The Host
MULDER: I brought you a present . . . 'Superstars of the Super Bowls'.
SCULLY: I knew there was a reason to live.
-2x08 One Breath
MULDER: Whatever tape you found in that VCR, it isn't mine.
SCULLY: Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all the other tapes that aren't yours.
- 2x11 Excelsius Dei
MULDER: Well, some people collect salt and pepper shakers. Fetishists collect dead things - fingernails and hair. No one quite knows why. Though I've never really understood salt and pepper shakers myself.
- 2x13 Irresistible
SCULLY: I mean, whatever happened to `Trust no one'?
MULDER: Oh, I changed it to `Trust everyone'. Didn't I tell you?
-2x16 Colony
NUTT: I've taken in your all-American features, your dour demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design and concluded that you work for the government. An F.B.I. agent. But do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly reduced you to a stereotype. A caricature. Instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual.
MULDER: But I am an F.B.I. agent.
- 2x20 Humbug
BRUCKMAN: You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified way than autoerotic asphyxiation.
MULDER: Why are you telling me that?
BRUCKMAN: Look, forget I mentioned it. It's none of my business.
- 3x04 Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose
MULDER: Sometimes the only sane response to an insane world is insanity.
- 3x07 The Walk
SCULLY: The very idea of intelligent alien life is not only astronomically impossible, but at it's most basic level downright anti-Darwinian.
MULDER: Scully . . . what are you wearing?
MULDER: Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany and, as a result, I screamed. Not . . . not a girly scream but the scream of someone being confronted by some before unknown monster that had no right existing on the same planet I inhabited. Did you ever notice how a praying mantis' head resembles an alien's head? The mysteries of the natural world were revealed to me that day but instead of being astounded I was repulsed.
SCULLY: Mulder, are you sure it wasn't a girly scream?
- 3x12 War of the Coprophages
SCULLY: I'm driving. Why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy? Because you're the big macho man?
MULDER: No, I was just never sure your little feet would reach the pedals.
- 3x13 Syzygy
MULDER: It looks like the fuselage of a plane.
SCULLY: It's an American P51 Mustang.
MULDER: I just got very turned on.
- 3x15 Piper Maru
MULDER: He psyched the guy out. He put the Whammy on him.
SCULLY: Please explain to me the scientific nature of 'The Whammy'.
- 3x17 Pusher
MULDER: Well just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic makeup and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little uber-Scullys.
SCULLY: What about your family?
MULDER: Hmm? Well, aside from the need for corrective lenses and the tendency to be abducted by extra-terrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy, the Mulder family passes genetic muster.
- 4x03 Home
SCULLY: Apparently he'd been watching this tape when he was strangled to death.
MULDER: Very Old Testament.
- 4x12 Kaddish
MULDER: Okay, so we . . . we'll have them send down another desk and there won't be any room to move around here but we can put them really close together face to face. Maybe we can play some Battleship!
- 4x13 Never Again
SCULLY: Mulder, you've never remembered my birthday in the four years I've known you.
MULDER: That's the way I like to celebrate. It's every four years, like dog years.
SCULLY: Dog years? Thank you.
- 4x17 - Tempus Fugit
MULDER: How would this happen?
Scully: Birds and the bees and the monkey babies, Mulder.
MULDER: Birds do it, bees do it, even educated MDs do it.
MULDER: Have a theory, if you want to hear it.
SCULLY: Van Blundth somehow physically transformed into his captor then walked out the door leaving no one the wiser?
MULDER: Scully, should we be picking out china patterns or what?!
SKINNER: You spelled "Federal Bureau of Investigation" wrong.
"MULDER": It's a typo.
SKINNER: Twice.
- 4x20 Small Potatoes
MULDER: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who was already naked.
SCULLY: Maybe if it rains sleeping bags you'll get lucky.
- 5x04 Detour
MULDER: Scully, do you think it's too soon for me to get my own 1-900 number?
- 5x06 Post-Modern Promethesus
MULDER: Hey Scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?
- 5x09 Schizogeny
SCULLY: Mulder, please just keep reminding him you were drugged.
MULDER: Will you stop that! Stop that.
SCULLY: It couldn't hurt.
SKINNER: Scully? Mulder?
MULDER: I was drugged!
- 5x12 Bad Blood
KRYCEK: You must be losing it, Mulder. I can beat you with one hand.
MULDER: Is that how you like to beat yourself? (Krycek cocks gun) If those were my last words, I can do better.
- 5x14 The Red and The Black
Scully: Don't you ever just want to stop? Get out of the damn car? Settle down and live something approaching a normal life?
Mulder: This *is* a normal life.
MULDER: I'm Mulder. I'm really Mulder. I switched bodies, places, identities with this man Morris Fletcher the man that you think is Mulder, but he's not. Of course you don't believe me. Why was I expecting anything different? Your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is . . . Hell! I don't know your badge number. Your mother's name is Margaret. Your brother's name is Bill Jr. He's in the Navy and he hates me. Lately, for lunch, you've been having this six-ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt, into which you stir bee pollen because you're on a bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a scientist and you should know better.
SCULLY: Look . . . Any of that information could have been gathered by anyone.
MULDER: Even that yogurt thing? That is so you. That is so Scully. Well, it's good to know you haven't changed. That's somewhat comforting.
- 6x04 Dreamland I
MULDER: Yeah . . . he wants advice. Dating advice.
SCULLY: Dating advice? From whom?
MULDER: Yours truly. (Very LONG pause) Hello? Hey, Scully. Scully, you there?
SCULLY: I heard you. Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?
MULDER: I will talk to you later.
SCULLY: (to herself) The blind leading the blind.
MULDER: And Holman. I do not gaze at Scully.
- 6x07 Rain King
MAURICE: I've found you all tend to fall into pretty much the same category.
MULDER: And what category is that?
MAURICE: Narcissistic, overzealous, self-righteous egomaniac.
MULDER: That's a category?
MULDER: "Paramasturbatory"?
SCULLY: Not that, uh, my only joy in life is proving you wrong.
MULDER: When have you proved me wrong?
- 6x08 How the Ghosts Stole Christmas
MULDER: You want to make that honeymoon video now?
MULDER: Wow. Admit it, you just want to play house.
SHROEDER: So, good morning. So how was your first night? Peaceful?
MULDER: Oh, it was wonderful. We just spooned up and fell asleep like little baby cats. Isn't that right, Honeybunch?
SCULLY: That's right, Poopyhead.
- 6x13 Arcadia
MULDER: Dear Diary: Today my heart leapt when Agent Scully suggested spontaneous human combustion.
- 6x17 Trevor
SCULLY: Mulder, it is such a gorgeous day outside. Have you ever entertained the idea of trying to find life on this planet?
MULDER: I have seen the life on this planet, Scully, and that is exactly why I am looking elsewhere.
- 6x20 The Unnatural
You know what this means.
MULDER: Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted.
SCULLY: The answers are there you just have to know where to look for them.
MULDER: That's why they put the "I" in FBI.
- 1x00 Pilot
SCULLY: Mulder, did you see their eyes? If I were that stoned . . .
MULDER: Oooh! If you were that stoned what!?
- 1x01 Deep Throat
SCULLY: Oh my God, Mulder, it's smells like, I think it's bile.
MULDER: Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?
- 1x02 Squeeze
SCULLY: Keep that up, Mulder, and I'll hurt you like that beast woman.
- 1x04 The Jersey Devil
MULDER: I would never lie. I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.
MULDER: Do you know how difficult it is to fake your own death? Only one man has pulled it off. Elvis.
MULDER: Hey Scully, do you believe in an afterlife?
SCULLY: I'd settle for a life in this one.
- 1x05 Shadows
MULDER: Now before anyone passes judgment, please keep in mind we're in the arctic. (re: shrinkage)
- 1x07 Ice
MULDER: One girl was just abducted.
SCULLY: Kidnapped.
MULDER: Pa-tay-toe, pah-tah-toe.
- 1x10 Eve
SCULLY: Did Boggs confess?
MULDER: No, no, it was five hours of Boggs' channeling. After three hours I asked him to summon up the soul of Jimmi Hendrix and requested 'All Along the Watchtower'. You know, the guy's been dead twenty years, but he still hasn't lost his edge.
- 1x12 Beyond the Sea
SCULLY: There's something up there, Mulder.
MULDER: I've been saying that for years.
- 1x13 Genderbender
SCULLY: Those were the most paranoid people I have ever met. I don't know how you could think that what they say is even remotely plausible.
MULDER: I think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot.
- 1x16 E.B.E
SCULLY: Fox . . .
MULDER: (laughs) I even made my parents call me Mulder. So . . . Mulder.
MULDER: If there's an ice tea in that bag, could be love.
SCULLY: Must be fate, Mulder. Root beer.
- 1x20 Tooms
SCULLY: Okay, Mulder, but I'm warning you . . . if this is monkey pee, you're on your own.
-1x23 Erlenmeyer Flask
SCULLY: Is this seat taken?
MULDER: No. But I should warn you, I'm experiencing violent impulses.
SCULLY: Well, I'm armed, so I'll take my chances.
- 2x02 The Host
MULDER: I brought you a present . . . 'Superstars of the Super Bowls'.
SCULLY: I knew there was a reason to live.
-2x08 One Breath
MULDER: Whatever tape you found in that VCR, it isn't mine.
SCULLY: Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all the other tapes that aren't yours.
- 2x11 Excelsius Dei
MULDER: Well, some people collect salt and pepper shakers. Fetishists collect dead things - fingernails and hair. No one quite knows why. Though I've never really understood salt and pepper shakers myself.
- 2x13 Irresistible
SCULLY: I mean, whatever happened to `Trust no one'?
MULDER: Oh, I changed it to `Trust everyone'. Didn't I tell you?
-2x16 Colony
NUTT: I've taken in your all-American features, your dour demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design and concluded that you work for the government. An F.B.I. agent. But do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly reduced you to a stereotype. A caricature. Instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual.
MULDER: But I am an F.B.I. agent.
- 2x20 Humbug
BRUCKMAN: You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified way than autoerotic asphyxiation.
MULDER: Why are you telling me that?
BRUCKMAN: Look, forget I mentioned it. It's none of my business.
- 3x04 Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose
MULDER: Sometimes the only sane response to an insane world is insanity.
- 3x07 The Walk
SCULLY: The very idea of intelligent alien life is not only astronomically impossible, but at it's most basic level downright anti-Darwinian.
MULDER: Scully . . . what are you wearing?
MULDER: Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany and, as a result, I screamed. Not . . . not a girly scream but the scream of someone being confronted by some before unknown monster that had no right existing on the same planet I inhabited. Did you ever notice how a praying mantis' head resembles an alien's head? The mysteries of the natural world were revealed to me that day but instead of being astounded I was repulsed.
SCULLY: Mulder, are you sure it wasn't a girly scream?
- 3x12 War of the Coprophages
SCULLY: I'm driving. Why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy? Because you're the big macho man?
MULDER: No, I was just never sure your little feet would reach the pedals.
- 3x13 Syzygy
MULDER: It looks like the fuselage of a plane.
SCULLY: It's an American P51 Mustang.
MULDER: I just got very turned on.
- 3x15 Piper Maru
MULDER: He psyched the guy out. He put the Whammy on him.
SCULLY: Please explain to me the scientific nature of 'The Whammy'.
- 3x17 Pusher
MULDER: Well just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic makeup and a really high tolerance for being second-guessed and start pumping out the little uber-Scullys.
SCULLY: What about your family?
MULDER: Hmm? Well, aside from the need for corrective lenses and the tendency to be abducted by extra-terrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy, the Mulder family passes genetic muster.
- 4x03 Home
SCULLY: Apparently he'd been watching this tape when he was strangled to death.
MULDER: Very Old Testament.
- 4x12 Kaddish
MULDER: Okay, so we . . . we'll have them send down another desk and there won't be any room to move around here but we can put them really close together face to face. Maybe we can play some Battleship!
- 4x13 Never Again
SCULLY: Mulder, you've never remembered my birthday in the four years I've known you.
MULDER: That's the way I like to celebrate. It's every four years, like dog years.
SCULLY: Dog years? Thank you.
- 4x17 - Tempus Fugit
MULDER: How would this happen?
Scully: Birds and the bees and the monkey babies, Mulder.
MULDER: Birds do it, bees do it, even educated MDs do it.
MULDER: Have a theory, if you want to hear it.
SCULLY: Van Blundth somehow physically transformed into his captor then walked out the door leaving no one the wiser?
MULDER: Scully, should we be picking out china patterns or what?!
SKINNER: You spelled "Federal Bureau of Investigation" wrong.
"MULDER": It's a typo.
SKINNER: Twice.
- 4x20 Small Potatoes
MULDER: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat is to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who was already naked.
SCULLY: Maybe if it rains sleeping bags you'll get lucky.
- 5x04 Detour
MULDER: Scully, do you think it's too soon for me to get my own 1-900 number?
- 5x06 Post-Modern Promethesus
MULDER: Hey Scully, is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all?
- 5x09 Schizogeny
SCULLY: Mulder, please just keep reminding him you were drugged.
MULDER: Will you stop that! Stop that.
SCULLY: It couldn't hurt.
SKINNER: Scully? Mulder?
MULDER: I was drugged!
- 5x12 Bad Blood
KRYCEK: You must be losing it, Mulder. I can beat you with one hand.
MULDER: Is that how you like to beat yourself? (Krycek cocks gun) If those were my last words, I can do better.
- 5x14 The Red and The Black
Scully: Don't you ever just want to stop? Get out of the damn car? Settle down and live something approaching a normal life?
Mulder: This *is* a normal life.
MULDER: I'm Mulder. I'm really Mulder. I switched bodies, places, identities with this man Morris Fletcher the man that you think is Mulder, but he's not. Of course you don't believe me. Why was I expecting anything different? Your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is . . . Hell! I don't know your badge number. Your mother's name is Margaret. Your brother's name is Bill Jr. He's in the Navy and he hates me. Lately, for lunch, you've been having this six-ounce cup of yogurt, plain yogurt, into which you stir bee pollen because you're on a bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a scientist and you should know better.
SCULLY: Look . . . Any of that information could have been gathered by anyone.
MULDER: Even that yogurt thing? That is so you. That is so Scully. Well, it's good to know you haven't changed. That's somewhat comforting.
- 6x04 Dreamland I
MULDER: Yeah . . . he wants advice. Dating advice.
SCULLY: Dating advice? From whom?
MULDER: Yours truly. (Very LONG pause) Hello? Hey, Scully. Scully, you there?
SCULLY: I heard you. Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?
MULDER: I will talk to you later.
SCULLY: (to herself) The blind leading the blind.
MULDER: And Holman. I do not gaze at Scully.
- 6x07 Rain King
MAURICE: I've found you all tend to fall into pretty much the same category.
MULDER: And what category is that?
MAURICE: Narcissistic, overzealous, self-righteous egomaniac.
MULDER: That's a category?
MULDER: "Paramasturbatory"?
SCULLY: Not that, uh, my only joy in life is proving you wrong.
MULDER: When have you proved me wrong?
- 6x08 How the Ghosts Stole Christmas
MULDER: You want to make that honeymoon video now?
MULDER: Wow. Admit it, you just want to play house.
SHROEDER: So, good morning. So how was your first night? Peaceful?
MULDER: Oh, it was wonderful. We just spooned up and fell asleep like little baby cats. Isn't that right, Honeybunch?
SCULLY: That's right, Poopyhead.
- 6x13 Arcadia
MULDER: Dear Diary: Today my heart leapt when Agent Scully suggested spontaneous human combustion.
- 6x17 Trevor
SCULLY: Mulder, it is such a gorgeous day outside. Have you ever entertained the idea of trying to find life on this planet?
MULDER: I have seen the life on this planet, Scully, and that is exactly why I am looking elsewhere.
- 6x20 The Unnatural