A sorry tale of friendship, love and betrayal
Timewaster.
We open, in B&W, on a couple of rapscallions pulling/pushing a mod-girl along on a bed through a park in Glasgow. Huh, you say? I say: those crazy Glaswegians. Stuart, for it is he, is looking pretty mod himself (or pretty & mod if you prefer), while Stevie has opted for a more art-school, boyish look in his furry coat. Are these sartorial choices/cues significant? Furthermore, could it be laced with deep meaning that the girl is on a bed with boy at either end? No! It's just good clean young person's fun, right? Stuart even sticks his tongue out.
Cut to band in 70s polychrome with Stevie at a white piano looking like da 70s piano bar man. He has the hair - bushy coiff, sideburns and moustache - and he has the accessories - pushed-back sunglasses and a green synthetic boa. I jest not.
Back in Mod Land and the kids have arrived at their house. Mod-girl twirls and opens the door while Stu and Stevie try to carry in the bed - Stevie has the heavy end. Ooo, symbolism. It's a nice bed, a bit Bedknobs and Broomsticks, and I like how this girl has the boys under her thumb already. No manual labour for her.
Inside, and there's much grinning. Stu and Stevie stand around like they're waiting for her verdict - Stevie in particular looks on the verge of exploding with nervous energy. I think this might be their house that she's just moved into. Where can we answer ads like that?
She beams and nods and generally looks pleased. Well obviously.
70s Stevie again and it's now fairly established that this is his song, his story. Which doesn't bode well, as I doubt he aspired for that slightly seedy air and general world-weary attitude he's now got nailed.
The boys are playing chess in the living area (I daren't say room - it's all open-plan and Bohemian) while mod-girl models her newest mod outfit (white boots, white skirt, chain belt) in the communal mirror of the communal (?) wardrobe. Stevie is intent on Stu, whose turn it is; Stu is intent on the girl, and to a lesser degree, his book. The latter is clearly a ruse for he nods appreciatively with legs hung over the edge, a catalogue picture of louche idleness. Am I reading too much into this to note that his legs are spread and positively thrumming with excitement? Nah, B&S are all for innuendo and so am I. To continue. Stu makes his (chess) move and then returns to his book/checking out the chick (and that book has no title! scam!).
Girl has finished with her couture arrangement and approaches for boy approval! A ->boa<- completes her finished look. Stevie applauds with outstretched arms, the picture of the besotted boy, bless him. Stu remains reclined and resumes his kinda scary nodding and leg-jigging (I don't want to read too much into this as my family has a poor record in the area of keeping our legs still but I have to say ... ). WHAM, big eye contact between mod-girl and Stu. Close-up on Stevie looking crushed.
Oh, the plight of the third wheel! It hurts. See, he's about to knock his hand against his knee in frustration. I'm here, Stevie!
Close-up on 70s Stevie's hands, and then to headshot and his boa's gone. Note, reader, and continue. It's been replaced by a brown cravat incidentally. Camera zooms out onto the rest of the band looking variously ludicrous, rather like participants in a 70s George Harrison clip (the exact polychrome tones, I swear). Then we get a close-up on 70s Stuart and ha! who won, man, who won?! Because here he is in a guise without redemption - the mime artiste. It's god-awful. But Stevie does a nice key flourish so all is not lost.
Now the kids are playing cards cos they're twee like that. Camera pulls out and we see it's just mod-girl and Stevie - awww. She's leaning in and they're looking cosy but, dun dun duuun, Stuart **the villain** enters from stage rear, with plates. Nothing more sinister. Mod-girl waves, excited, but amazingly Stevie misses this and Stu gestures for her to keep quiet. Wow, I paused it there and Stuart's expression is actually very fetching. The guy can act. Wish I could screen-cap that for you, or me, or whomever.
Stevie thinks all eyes are on him and, sweet boy that he is, entertains her with invisible maracas, the key to every woman's heart. Little does he know that Stuart has crept up behind him and given him Mickey Mouse plate ears. Ingenious. So now she's laughing at him, not with him! Stuart hams up the villain role by making demeaning faces behind Stevie and then ruffling his hair, the ages-old sign of condescension and instigator of many a male friendship implosion. Stevie's brave and laughs and hastens the girl back to her cards. She smiles and then almost bites her lip as she turns to look after the departing Stu. Uh-oh. That cad!
Back to the 70s band and we get some close-ups.
Least said about Richard the better, in his gay leather outfit.
Isobel looks hot.
Mick looks like some sort of rock caveman.
Bob looks hot, even in Roman dress.
Sarah's in a poncho, very folky.
And I'm missing someone, probably Stuart David but I'm not watching the clip again.
They've popped a record on and are playing with batting around ticker tape in the spirit of threesome bonding! Stevie's so excited, the young pup, that he runs off to hide behind a beaded curtain and then a Japanese?chinois? screen. Some piece of victoriana anyway. Which leaves mod-girl with Stu. Can you feel the tension? She's in the boa again and a seriously skimpy baby-doll ... dress I suppose. But her legs are nice. Girl and Stu are getting up close and personal liek whoa. Does Stevie see? I don't think so but he senses and he clearly knows, and that crest-fallen look is gone and he now looks like a man who's been kicked in the guts.
The pain of adulthood.
Wrapping it all up, back to the 70s and mime!Stuart, as if he wasn't sight enough is now fondling the boa - someone else can interpret that, I don't want to know. We see framed photos on the piano - one picture of Stevie with a steely gaze, and another of the happy couple.
If that doesn't hurt enough, it's close-up on Stevie as he sings "married and you'll be gone".
The End.
And the lesson of this tale? Girls - don't fall for cheap lines and snazzy suits. Or maybe do. Boys - don't trust your best friend with the object of your affections!
So there you have it, my favourite B&S song. I have a fairly complete vision of what the song means in my head and it's different to this. The film clip's a laugh but is kind of spot on with some of the emotions/reactions I see. Maybe I'll write that one day for scene_in_mind.
We open, in B&W, on a couple of rapscallions pulling/pushing a mod-girl along on a bed through a park in Glasgow. Huh, you say? I say: those crazy Glaswegians. Stuart, for it is he, is looking pretty mod himself (or pretty & mod if you prefer), while Stevie has opted for a more art-school, boyish look in his furry coat. Are these sartorial choices/cues significant? Furthermore, could it be laced with deep meaning that the girl is on a bed with boy at either end? No! It's just good clean young person's fun, right? Stuart even sticks his tongue out.
Cut to band in 70s polychrome with Stevie at a white piano looking like da 70s piano bar man. He has the hair - bushy coiff, sideburns and moustache - and he has the accessories - pushed-back sunglasses and a green synthetic boa. I jest not.
Back in Mod Land and the kids have arrived at their house. Mod-girl twirls and opens the door while Stu and Stevie try to carry in the bed - Stevie has the heavy end. Ooo, symbolism. It's a nice bed, a bit Bedknobs and Broomsticks, and I like how this girl has the boys under her thumb already. No manual labour for her.
Inside, and there's much grinning. Stu and Stevie stand around like they're waiting for her verdict - Stevie in particular looks on the verge of exploding with nervous energy. I think this might be their house that she's just moved into. Where can we answer ads like that?
She beams and nods and generally looks pleased. Well obviously.
70s Stevie again and it's now fairly established that this is his song, his story. Which doesn't bode well, as I doubt he aspired for that slightly seedy air and general world-weary attitude he's now got nailed.
The boys are playing chess in the living area (I daren't say room - it's all open-plan and Bohemian) while mod-girl models her newest mod outfit (white boots, white skirt, chain belt) in the communal mirror of the communal (?) wardrobe. Stevie is intent on Stu, whose turn it is; Stu is intent on the girl, and to a lesser degree, his book. The latter is clearly a ruse for he nods appreciatively with legs hung over the edge, a catalogue picture of louche idleness. Am I reading too much into this to note that his legs are spread and positively thrumming with excitement? Nah, B&S are all for innuendo and so am I. To continue. Stu makes his (chess) move and then returns to his book/checking out the chick (and that book has no title! scam!).
Girl has finished with her couture arrangement and approaches for boy approval! A ->boa<- completes her finished look. Stevie applauds with outstretched arms, the picture of the besotted boy, bless him. Stu remains reclined and resumes his kinda scary nodding and leg-jigging (I don't want to read too much into this as my family has a poor record in the area of keeping our legs still but I have to say ... ). WHAM, big eye contact between mod-girl and Stu. Close-up on Stevie looking crushed.
Oh, the plight of the third wheel! It hurts. See, he's about to knock his hand against his knee in frustration. I'm here, Stevie!
Close-up on 70s Stevie's hands, and then to headshot and his boa's gone. Note, reader, and continue. It's been replaced by a brown cravat incidentally. Camera zooms out onto the rest of the band looking variously ludicrous, rather like participants in a 70s George Harrison clip (the exact polychrome tones, I swear). Then we get a close-up on 70s Stuart and ha! who won, man, who won?! Because here he is in a guise without redemption - the mime artiste. It's god-awful. But Stevie does a nice key flourish so all is not lost.
Now the kids are playing cards cos they're twee like that. Camera pulls out and we see it's just mod-girl and Stevie - awww. She's leaning in and they're looking cosy but, dun dun duuun, Stuart **the villain** enters from stage rear, with plates. Nothing more sinister. Mod-girl waves, excited, but amazingly Stevie misses this and Stu gestures for her to keep quiet. Wow, I paused it there and Stuart's expression is actually very fetching. The guy can act. Wish I could screen-cap that for you, or me, or whomever.
Stevie thinks all eyes are on him and, sweet boy that he is, entertains her with invisible maracas, the key to every woman's heart. Little does he know that Stuart has crept up behind him and given him Mickey Mouse plate ears. Ingenious. So now she's laughing at him, not with him! Stuart hams up the villain role by making demeaning faces behind Stevie and then ruffling his hair, the ages-old sign of condescension and instigator of many a male friendship implosion. Stevie's brave and laughs and hastens the girl back to her cards. She smiles and then almost bites her lip as she turns to look after the departing Stu. Uh-oh. That cad!
Back to the 70s band and we get some close-ups.
Least said about Richard the better, in his gay leather outfit.
Isobel looks hot.
Mick looks like some sort of rock caveman.
Bob looks hot, even in Roman dress.
Sarah's in a poncho, very folky.
And I'm missing someone, probably Stuart David but I'm not watching the clip again.
They've popped a record on and are playing with batting around ticker tape in the spirit of threesome bonding! Stevie's so excited, the young pup, that he runs off to hide behind a beaded curtain and then a Japanese?chinois? screen. Some piece of victoriana anyway. Which leaves mod-girl with Stu. Can you feel the tension? She's in the boa again and a seriously skimpy baby-doll ... dress I suppose. But her legs are nice. Girl and Stu are getting up close and personal liek whoa. Does Stevie see? I don't think so but he senses and he clearly knows, and that crest-fallen look is gone and he now looks like a man who's been kicked in the guts.
The pain of adulthood.
Wrapping it all up, back to the 70s and mime!Stuart, as if he wasn't sight enough is now fondling the boa - someone else can interpret that, I don't want to know. We see framed photos on the piano - one picture of Stevie with a steely gaze, and another of the happy couple.
If that doesn't hurt enough, it's close-up on Stevie as he sings "married and you'll be gone".
The End.
And the lesson of this tale? Girls - don't fall for cheap lines and snazzy suits. Or maybe do. Boys - don't trust your best friend with the object of your affections!
So there you have it, my favourite B&S song. I have a fairly complete vision of what the song means in my head and it's different to this. The film clip's a laugh but is kind of spot on with some of the emotions/reactions I see. Maybe I'll write that one day for scene_in_mind.