*Insert cheesy Queen song about best friends here*
Day 07 - Your best friend
I remember questions like this when I was in grade school. I always had two people in mind as my best friends. The end of elementary school drastically changed my definition of what a friend is (I lost most of mine), so all through middle school I never let anyone get that close again. In high school I opened the doors to Torrie, but that was different since there was romantic interest. But just like a romance, a true friendship grows over time. I have a couple people I consider my closest friends, but a year and a half ago I realized that, after many years, I had found a best friend.
Spring 2007. I described my mental state in the first love post, but to recap - life sucked! Actually this was March, so life was sucking a lot less with a girl in my life, but that didn’t stop it from being stressful. I was alternated as an RA and to improve my chances of getting selected I took the alternate class (same class they offered to those who WERE selected). There was an interesting mix in my class. A few people I knew through RHA, a couple hall council presidents, even a guy in a wheel chair - I thought he was particularly out of place. His name was Mike, a poli-sci major and second year in the Burnhams. He had a good head on his shoulders, but besides that the only thing we seemed to have in common was an anguished fandom of the Chicago Cubs. I learned years later that his first impression of me was something to the effect of “who is this weirdo?”
That summer I took a job working conferences for two months. This was my second year doing it, and to be honest I was looking forward to it. I was greatly surprised to see Mike there as well. It was the first day and we all met to help set up the medieval conference. I knew a lot of the people there, but the small talk was slow and Mike was sitting alone, so I walked over and started talking. First impressions aside, we had a lot in common and a lot to talk about. We even had parts of shifts together, and since we’re both long-winded it made the time pass!
A few weeks later I got a very unsettling phone call. Mike was looking for people to cover his shifts due to an untimely death in the family. He seemed very shaken, so I asked the simple question “are you ok?”. You’d be amazed how many people he called before me that were too afraid to ask. It was in these weeks I began to realize just how much he had to go through. I’ll spare the specific details (they’re not mine to tell), but he goes through more physical pain and sickness than anyone I’ve ever met. In the time I knew him he always held his head high. I admire that in people a great deal. Now here he was, showing his weakness. The only thing I could do was help him keep his head held high…
Mike appreciated my help over the summer and we stayed in touch through RHA my third year. While I was involved in RHA eboard, he became very involved in WSA and proved himself a highly resourceful and valuable member - so much so that he was on Danielle Harik’s cabinet! At this point, Mike was just a good friend, though, a little more favored since he was one of the few people I tried to keep up with when I moved to New York for the summer. Once the fall hit everything would change…
In September of my fourth year he called me in a state of panic. I had often complained about my anxiety issues so he figured I knew a good way to get rid of them. He talked about a lot of high stress situations, so I couldn’t blame him. I helped him out and that was that. Then I got another call the next night. We were soon talking daily. A few weeks later I went through my first breakup. I remember walking back from French Hall, tears still in my eyes, and Mike was the first person I called. Getting over your first love is very hard, and soon I found myself calling him almost every night just to keep my head on straight! Mike has a remarkable ability to listen and give incredibly sound advice. Even more, when the semester started giving me incredible stress he was always there to let me vent. I probably would have driven myself insane my fourth year had Mike not been there for me.
At around the end of my fourth year I realized we were much more than good friends. At around this time he told me that I was the best friend he had. It’s funny - it was after my second year as an RA, I couldn’t walk across campus without seeing someone I knew, yet I hadn’t been able to say the same about someone pretty much ever. I began to realize that not only was Mike my best friend, but the best friend I had EVER had! Most my life I built walls to keep other people from hurting me, yet with this guy it was never seemed to be an option; in fact, he completely understood where I was coming from!
We kept in touch summer 09 quite a bit. He was going through a really rough time. One night while visiting Kalamazoo he called at about 10:30 on the brink of tears from a bad family fight and without thinking I walked 8 miles across the city in the middle of the night just to give him some peace of mind. I would be willing to do that for a lot of people, but I’ve only ever acted with such devotion to my family. All through my fifth year we relied on each other for support in our busy lives. When I started dating Elle I made a big deal to bring her over to his apartment. I wanted my friends to like her, but it was Mike’s opinion that I valued the most.
Moving around and going to grad school still didn’t halt our friendship. When Elle broke up with me he was the first person I called. When I got myself off antidepressants this summer and started having anxiety attacks again he’s the first person I call. When I found a great church and felt myself coming back to God he was the first person from home I could express it to. A few weeks ago, when he described a crappy situation all culminating in a money snag, he hadn’t finished telling me about it before I’d got online and transferred him a well-needed break. And since I’ve written so much already, he’s definitely getting a call tomorrow and I’m debating copying this whole entry and emailing it!
I have a lot of friends, a few good friends, but only one friend who has proven himself to be the best friend I’ve ever had. Thanks, Mike.
I remember questions like this when I was in grade school. I always had two people in mind as my best friends. The end of elementary school drastically changed my definition of what a friend is (I lost most of mine), so all through middle school I never let anyone get that close again. In high school I opened the doors to Torrie, but that was different since there was romantic interest. But just like a romance, a true friendship grows over time. I have a couple people I consider my closest friends, but a year and a half ago I realized that, after many years, I had found a best friend.
Spring 2007. I described my mental state in the first love post, but to recap - life sucked! Actually this was March, so life was sucking a lot less with a girl in my life, but that didn’t stop it from being stressful. I was alternated as an RA and to improve my chances of getting selected I took the alternate class (same class they offered to those who WERE selected). There was an interesting mix in my class. A few people I knew through RHA, a couple hall council presidents, even a guy in a wheel chair - I thought he was particularly out of place. His name was Mike, a poli-sci major and second year in the Burnhams. He had a good head on his shoulders, but besides that the only thing we seemed to have in common was an anguished fandom of the Chicago Cubs. I learned years later that his first impression of me was something to the effect of “who is this weirdo?”
That summer I took a job working conferences for two months. This was my second year doing it, and to be honest I was looking forward to it. I was greatly surprised to see Mike there as well. It was the first day and we all met to help set up the medieval conference. I knew a lot of the people there, but the small talk was slow and Mike was sitting alone, so I walked over and started talking. First impressions aside, we had a lot in common and a lot to talk about. We even had parts of shifts together, and since we’re both long-winded it made the time pass!
A few weeks later I got a very unsettling phone call. Mike was looking for people to cover his shifts due to an untimely death in the family. He seemed very shaken, so I asked the simple question “are you ok?”. You’d be amazed how many people he called before me that were too afraid to ask. It was in these weeks I began to realize just how much he had to go through. I’ll spare the specific details (they’re not mine to tell), but he goes through more physical pain and sickness than anyone I’ve ever met. In the time I knew him he always held his head high. I admire that in people a great deal. Now here he was, showing his weakness. The only thing I could do was help him keep his head held high…
Mike appreciated my help over the summer and we stayed in touch through RHA my third year. While I was involved in RHA eboard, he became very involved in WSA and proved himself a highly resourceful and valuable member - so much so that he was on Danielle Harik’s cabinet! At this point, Mike was just a good friend, though, a little more favored since he was one of the few people I tried to keep up with when I moved to New York for the summer. Once the fall hit everything would change…
In September of my fourth year he called me in a state of panic. I had often complained about my anxiety issues so he figured I knew a good way to get rid of them. He talked about a lot of high stress situations, so I couldn’t blame him. I helped him out and that was that. Then I got another call the next night. We were soon talking daily. A few weeks later I went through my first breakup. I remember walking back from French Hall, tears still in my eyes, and Mike was the first person I called. Getting over your first love is very hard, and soon I found myself calling him almost every night just to keep my head on straight! Mike has a remarkable ability to listen and give incredibly sound advice. Even more, when the semester started giving me incredible stress he was always there to let me vent. I probably would have driven myself insane my fourth year had Mike not been there for me.
At around the end of my fourth year I realized we were much more than good friends. At around this time he told me that I was the best friend he had. It’s funny - it was after my second year as an RA, I couldn’t walk across campus without seeing someone I knew, yet I hadn’t been able to say the same about someone pretty much ever. I began to realize that not only was Mike my best friend, but the best friend I had EVER had! Most my life I built walls to keep other people from hurting me, yet with this guy it was never seemed to be an option; in fact, he completely understood where I was coming from!
We kept in touch summer 09 quite a bit. He was going through a really rough time. One night while visiting Kalamazoo he called at about 10:30 on the brink of tears from a bad family fight and without thinking I walked 8 miles across the city in the middle of the night just to give him some peace of mind. I would be willing to do that for a lot of people, but I’ve only ever acted with such devotion to my family. All through my fifth year we relied on each other for support in our busy lives. When I started dating Elle I made a big deal to bring her over to his apartment. I wanted my friends to like her, but it was Mike’s opinion that I valued the most.
Moving around and going to grad school still didn’t halt our friendship. When Elle broke up with me he was the first person I called. When I got myself off antidepressants this summer and started having anxiety attacks again he’s the first person I call. When I found a great church and felt myself coming back to God he was the first person from home I could express it to. A few weeks ago, when he described a crappy situation all culminating in a money snag, he hadn’t finished telling me about it before I’d got online and transferred him a well-needed break. And since I’ve written so much already, he’s definitely getting a call tomorrow and I’m debating copying this whole entry and emailing it!
I have a lot of friends, a few good friends, but only one friend who has proven himself to be the best friend I’ve ever had. Thanks, Mike.