My Favourite Toy 15
Junsu had a favourite toy.
It was red, tiny and shiny. With a sharp silver blade that was ready to nick and prick your skin if you dared to touch it.
CHAPTER 15
The silence in the living room was something that both Junsu and Yoochun were not used to anymore. But now, they were sitting quietly, side by side while watching the woman in front of them sipping her tea slowly, as if she needed the tea to give her the courage to speak.
Junsu was completely silent after his earlier surprised exclamation of Omonim. And Yoochun was worried that he had started to retreat back to his earlier state that both of them had worked so hard to destroy.
“I’m sorry Mrs Kim,” Yoochun just couldn’t stand the heavy silence among them anymore. “I don’t intend to be rude, but what is your purpose of coming here?” He asked as politely as he could, which was a big improvement considering the last time he had met Junsu’s parents, he nearly punched Junsu’s dad.
The middle-aged woman in front of them looked down to her lap and started fiddling with her skirt. After breathing in a few times, she finally opened her mouth. “I… Junsu-yah…”
And she broke down.
“Junsu-yah… I’m really sorry for our treatment to you for all those years… Umma… I saw you several days ago, in the market… and you were laughing, laughing so happily… and Umma realized that I have never seen you smile ever since… that day…” The sobbing that accompanied the words had died down into whisper by the end of the sentence.
And Junsu gave no response or acknowledgement that he even heard a single word.
“I… We have always known that Junho’s death was not your fault. You were only a child… and it was not you who… hit him or something… But we were too angry to care, and you… you were just there… so convenient for us to blame…”
Yoochun didn’t know how could his husband stayed so still while listening to his mother telling him that all of the hurt and the blame he had carried through all of these years were actually not his… it was just placed selfishly by these two people who called themselves parents.
“Junsu-yah… Umma knows that this might be too selfish for me to ask… but will you ever find it in your heart to forgive us?” She stood up and walked over to Junsu does side, wanting to grasp his son’s hand but cowardice have a better hold on her on the last moment.
Silence
And more stifling silence
After a few moments of unresponsive coldness from her son, the middle aged lady bowed her head in resignation and walked back to her seat, took her purse and stood up, ready to leave.
“I… Thank you for having me here, Yoochun-sshi, Junsu-yah… And I take back all of my… opinions about you Yoochun-sshi. You are truly the best person my so… Junsu could ever have…”She kept her head bowed and her voice low. And before she walked to the door, she turned for the last time to face Junsu and smiled slightly at him. “I, I just wish that everything was different… That way I won’t lose both of my sons…”
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Junsu stayed rigid throughout the apology his umma had narrated in front of him and Yoochun. His mind was a mess and all that swam through his mind was memories.
Of how painful were those sharp words that his parents had shoved into his mind over and over again.
Of how lonely he felt on those nights when his parents refused to even dignify him with words.
Of how cold were those hateful stares and mumbled speech that his parents always used and directed to him when they were talking about him to others.
Of how he lost the piece of his mind, pieces by pieces until what was left was only the smiling doll.
Held together by the red string of blood connected by the glinting silver blade.
And he hated her even more for intruding his now perfect life with Yoochun and reminded him of his past.
He could feel himself slowly slipping away.
But the warm hand that suddenly held his own tightly gently sewed his sanity back to his mind. And he was reminded that now he didn’t need to ever experience that darkness anymore.
That he would always have Yoochun to whisper loving words to soothe any hurt, to comfort him when he was lonely, to warm him and shower him with love,
To patiently pieced him back together whenever he felt like losing himself.
Like now.
And now he saw his mother in a different light.
As a lonely, desperate mother who yearned to finally have her lost son back… to earn his forgiveness so she could at least touch him, talk to him, coddle him…like she did when he was still young. Just not to lose her only son left.
And even if he hated her for what she did to him several years ago, how could he forget all the tender loving care she had showered him when he was young? The love she had given him that helped him to grow up?
“Wait, umma…” He didn’t move from his position, but his small voice was audible enough for the woman to hear.
She froze in her place.
“I…” He started hesitantly, but a glance at Yoochun who smiled at him encouragingly gave him the wave of strength he needed. “Give me time…” He said simply in the end.
The old woman looked like Junsu had given her all the gold in the world. With tears making their way on her slightly wrinkled cheeks, she smiled brightly at Junsu before walking out from their place.
And that night, Yoochun held Junsu in his arms tightly as his husband cried on his chest, one hand caressing the soft brown hair soothingly and whispered over and over again against his ear.
“I’m proud of you…”
A/N This phrase might not sound as powerful as I love you or its similar kinds, but they are actually, the word that Junsu needed to hear the most, since he lived his live viewed as disappointment by his parents… so what he really yearned for (beside love) was approval. And Yoochun gave it to him.
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
A/N last chapter before epilogue! hahaha. I'm sorry if the story seemed a bit rushed... I wanted to finish it quickly before I'm losing interest int he story altogether since I'm quite fickle minded hahaha.
also, just something to share to all yoosu-fans:
100326 The Television Magazine March 26 Issue
F- Fetish (from Ontama)
Yoochun who said he has a fetish for Junsu’s smell. His question was “What you would say to today’s Junsu when smelling him” he answered “Did you shower?”. Wha..what kind of relationship do they have!? Also Junsu’s question was “What you would say to Changmin, who you see sleep everyday” he answered “I’ll be there so wait for me!!” Jaejoong who asked “go where?” and Junsu answered “I was going to meet him in our dreams”….If that’s the case its okay.
Credit: joecesjohncual@soompi
GAAAAHHH YOOSU!!! Chunnie-ah, can you be even more obvious???
So yeah, enjoy and please comment!
It was red, tiny and shiny. With a sharp silver blade that was ready to nick and prick your skin if you dared to touch it.
CHAPTER 15
The silence in the living room was something that both Junsu and Yoochun were not used to anymore. But now, they were sitting quietly, side by side while watching the woman in front of them sipping her tea slowly, as if she needed the tea to give her the courage to speak.
Junsu was completely silent after his earlier surprised exclamation of Omonim. And Yoochun was worried that he had started to retreat back to his earlier state that both of them had worked so hard to destroy.
“I’m sorry Mrs Kim,” Yoochun just couldn’t stand the heavy silence among them anymore. “I don’t intend to be rude, but what is your purpose of coming here?” He asked as politely as he could, which was a big improvement considering the last time he had met Junsu’s parents, he nearly punched Junsu’s dad.
The middle-aged woman in front of them looked down to her lap and started fiddling with her skirt. After breathing in a few times, she finally opened her mouth. “I… Junsu-yah…”
And she broke down.
“Junsu-yah… I’m really sorry for our treatment to you for all those years… Umma… I saw you several days ago, in the market… and you were laughing, laughing so happily… and Umma realized that I have never seen you smile ever since… that day…” The sobbing that accompanied the words had died down into whisper by the end of the sentence.
And Junsu gave no response or acknowledgement that he even heard a single word.
“I… We have always known that Junho’s death was not your fault. You were only a child… and it was not you who… hit him or something… But we were too angry to care, and you… you were just there… so convenient for us to blame…”
Yoochun didn’t know how could his husband stayed so still while listening to his mother telling him that all of the hurt and the blame he had carried through all of these years were actually not his… it was just placed selfishly by these two people who called themselves parents.
“Junsu-yah… Umma knows that this might be too selfish for me to ask… but will you ever find it in your heart to forgive us?” She stood up and walked over to Junsu does side, wanting to grasp his son’s hand but cowardice have a better hold on her on the last moment.
Silence
And more stifling silence
After a few moments of unresponsive coldness from her son, the middle aged lady bowed her head in resignation and walked back to her seat, took her purse and stood up, ready to leave.
“I… Thank you for having me here, Yoochun-sshi, Junsu-yah… And I take back all of my… opinions about you Yoochun-sshi. You are truly the best person my so… Junsu could ever have…”She kept her head bowed and her voice low. And before she walked to the door, she turned for the last time to face Junsu and smiled slightly at him. “I, I just wish that everything was different… That way I won’t lose both of my sons…”
:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
Junsu stayed rigid throughout the apology his umma had narrated in front of him and Yoochun. His mind was a mess and all that swam through his mind was memories.
Of how painful were those sharp words that his parents had shoved into his mind over and over again.
Of how lonely he felt on those nights when his parents refused to even dignify him with words.
Of how cold were those hateful stares and mumbled speech that his parents always used and directed to him when they were talking about him to others.
Of how he lost the piece of his mind, pieces by pieces until what was left was only the smiling doll.
Held together by the red string of blood connected by the glinting silver blade.
And he hated her even more for intruding his now perfect life with Yoochun and reminded him of his past.
He could feel himself slowly slipping away.
But the warm hand that suddenly held his own tightly gently sewed his sanity back to his mind. And he was reminded that now he didn’t need to ever experience that darkness anymore.
That he would always have Yoochun to whisper loving words to soothe any hurt, to comfort him when he was lonely, to warm him and shower him with love,
To patiently pieced him back together whenever he felt like losing himself.
Like now.
And now he saw his mother in a different light.
As a lonely, desperate mother who yearned to finally have her lost son back… to earn his forgiveness so she could at least touch him, talk to him, coddle him…like she did when he was still young. Just not to lose her only son left.
And even if he hated her for what she did to him several years ago, how could he forget all the tender loving care she had showered him when he was young? The love she had given him that helped him to grow up?
“Wait, umma…” He didn’t move from his position, but his small voice was audible enough for the woman to hear.
She froze in her place.
“I…” He started hesitantly, but a glance at Yoochun who smiled at him encouragingly gave him the wave of strength he needed. “Give me time…” He said simply in the end.
The old woman looked like Junsu had given her all the gold in the world. With tears making their way on her slightly wrinkled cheeks, she smiled brightly at Junsu before walking out from their place.
And that night, Yoochun held Junsu in his arms tightly as his husband cried on his chest, one hand caressing the soft brown hair soothingly and whispered over and over again against his ear.
“I’m proud of you…”
A/N This phrase might not sound as powerful as I love you or its similar kinds, but they are actually, the word that Junsu needed to hear the most, since he lived his live viewed as disappointment by his parents… so what he really yearned for (beside love) was approval. And Yoochun gave it to him.
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:
A/N last chapter before epilogue! hahaha. I'm sorry if the story seemed a bit rushed... I wanted to finish it quickly before I'm losing interest int he story altogether since I'm quite fickle minded hahaha.
also, just something to share to all yoosu-fans:
100326 The Television Magazine March 26 Issue
F- Fetish (from Ontama)
Yoochun who said he has a fetish for Junsu’s smell. His question was “What you would say to today’s Junsu when smelling him” he answered “Did you shower?”. Wha..what kind of relationship do they have!? Also Junsu’s question was “What you would say to Changmin, who you see sleep everyday” he answered “I’ll be there so wait for me!!” Jaejoong who asked “go where?” and Junsu answered “I was going to meet him in our dreams”….If that’s the case its okay.
Credit: joecesjohncual@soompi
GAAAAHHH YOOSU!!! Chunnie-ah, can you be even more obvious???
So yeah, enjoy and please comment!