[back-dated to 8/23; Voice-Pivate: Hackable] I don't understand...
[there's a heavy thud of the gourd being set down near the journal, followed by some faint hissing of sand and a tired sigh.] I... I don't understand...why...? Why does Lee suddenly have these...feelings for me? This isn't normal is it; to l-l-lo... after barely a week of knowing the other person...? Surely that's not normal. How could Lee have so vastly misinterpreted that kiss? He had said so himself; you had to kiss whomever you're standing with. That was the rule, and had I known the consequences of my foolish mistake I never would have followed it. Stupid mistletoe...
I... I was told that I could never be l-loved, that I was...truly unloveable. And even if I did chance upon someone who could feel so much...for someone like me, that I wouldn't be capable of reciprocating the emotion. And I beleived it all completely. I still do, mostly.
But it...it hurts. I wasn't prepared for any of this; I don't understand it, and that alone is confusing and frustrating beyond what I can handle. And I hurt Lee. That hurts more than anything. My first and only friend...I... I hurt him. M-me...
...My ribs hurt. I wish I could sleep... [the sound of the hissing sand is still heard, followed by another heavy sigh before the journal is cut off.]
I... I was told that I could never be l-loved, that I was...truly unloveable. And even if I did chance upon someone who could feel so much...for someone like me, that I wouldn't be capable of reciprocating the emotion. And I beleived it all completely. I still do, mostly.
But it...it hurts. I wasn't prepared for any of this; I don't understand it, and that alone is confusing and frustrating beyond what I can handle. And I hurt Lee. That hurts more than anything. My first and only friend...I... I hurt him. M-me...
...My ribs hurt. I wish I could sleep... [the sound of the hissing sand is still heard, followed by another heavy sigh before the journal is cut off.]