...and also failed to accumulate a sucker mortgage at a percentage rate you can't afford with balloon payments that will brutally fuck parts of your body and soul not designed for fucking on a house you hate that is not worth a tenth what you paid for it and is even now dropping in price like a homesick rock tossed out of the Space Shuttle. Congratulations, you have avoided any entangling financial commitments and successfully earned YET ANOTHER extended play on your deliriously beautiful and bratty adolescence. HERE IS SOME ENVY I GOT YOU FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, PLEASE FEED IT OFTEN AND PET IT AND STROKE IT AND LOVE IT AND CALL IT GEORGE.
> 2. doubled mah bedpost notch count
...and no doubt would do it again, if you could go back in time a year for a take-over. Because you enjoyed it, and that's perfectly right, because you're young and hawt and you fucked people who are also young and hawt, and it was TEH FUKKEN AWESUM, and made even more TEH FUKKEN AWESUM by the fact that you recognize that you can't be this steamingly deliciously slutty every year for the rest of your life, and that this was a special year in which YOU! WERE! ALLOWED! and nobody can ever take that away from you. Unless, unlike you, they actually *do* have a time machine and can go back a year to stop you somehow. HERE IS ANOTHER BIRTHDAY PRESENT I GOT YOU, LOOK IT IS SOME MORE ENVY, PLEASE RUB IT ALL OVER YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE ALONE.
> 3. indulged my growing nostalgia for th female body
See above. OH LOOK ANOTHER BOX WITH YOUR NAME ON IT, I WONDER WHAT COULD BE INSIDE? WELL I'LL BE IT'S A BIG LUMP OF ENVY, BECAUSE AS A MAN I HAVE AN AUTISTIC OBSESSION WITH THE TWO GURLZ AT ONCE THING, AND WHEREAS I HAVE TO FIND TWO WILLING GURLZ TO INDULGE ME IN MY PREVERSIONS, YOU ONLY HAVE TO FIND ONE, WHICH IS MUCH EASIER. THANK YOUR LUCKY SEXY STARZ YOU ARE A GURLZ. PLEASE PLACE MY ENVY BETWEEN YOU AND THE NEXT GURLZ YOU KISS, AND KEEP IT MOIST AND TOASTY WARM.
> 4. became a local hero
...which is the best kind, and you should probably stop there if you can. Being truly famous is a huge pain in the ass, but being locally famous is all free sex and free dope and the best parties and about twelveteen metric assloads of confidence that is woefully missing in nearly everyone you know, no matter how cool they pretend they are. Just make sure you have an eventual exit strategy and the guts to use it when the time arrives, 'cause the come-down is a real fang-clawed bitch and a half on wheels with a gun and sprinkles on top. OH LOOK WHAT'S IN THIS GIFT-WRAPPED BOX? IT'S A SWEATER KNITTED OF 50% WOOL AND 50% ENVY, PLEASE WEAR IT WHEN YOU ARE IN NEED OF WARMTH AND COMFORTING, I'M SURE IT WILL GROW ON YOU IF YOU DRYCLEAN ONLY.
...and also failed to accumulate a sucker mortgage at a percentage rate you can't afford with balloon payments that will brutally fuck parts of your body and soul not designed for fucking on a house you hate that is not worth a tenth what you paid for it and is even now dropping in price like a homesick rock tossed out of the Space Shuttle. Congratulations, you have avoided any entangling financial commitments and successfully earned YET ANOTHER extended play on your deliriously beautiful and bratty adolescence. HERE IS SOME ENVY I GOT YOU FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY, PLEASE FEED IT OFTEN AND PET IT AND STROKE IT AND LOVE IT AND CALL IT GEORGE.
> 2. doubled mah bedpost notch count
...and no doubt would do it again, if you could go back in time a year for a take-over. Because you enjoyed it, and that's perfectly right, because you're young and hawt and you fucked people who are also young and hawt, and it was TEH FUKKEN AWESUM, and made even more TEH FUKKEN AWESUM by the fact that you recognize that you can't be this steamingly deliciously slutty every year for the rest of your life, and that this was a special year in which YOU! WERE! ALLOWED! and nobody can ever take that away from you. Unless, unlike you, they actually *do* have a time machine and can go back a year to stop you somehow. HERE IS ANOTHER BIRTHDAY PRESENT I GOT YOU, LOOK IT IS SOME MORE ENVY, PLEASE RUB IT ALL OVER YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE ALONE.
> 3. indulged my growing nostalgia for th female body
See above. OH LOOK ANOTHER BOX WITH YOUR NAME ON IT, I WONDER WHAT COULD BE INSIDE? WELL I'LL BE IT'S A BIG LUMP OF ENVY, BECAUSE AS A MAN I HAVE AN AUTISTIC OBSESSION WITH THE TWO GURLZ AT ONCE THING, AND WHEREAS I HAVE TO FIND TWO WILLING GURLZ TO INDULGE ME IN MY PREVERSIONS, YOU ONLY HAVE TO FIND ONE, WHICH IS MUCH EASIER. THANK YOUR LUCKY SEXY STARZ YOU ARE A GURLZ. PLEASE PLACE MY ENVY BETWEEN YOU AND THE NEXT GURLZ YOU KISS, AND KEEP IT MOIST AND TOASTY WARM.
> 4. became a local hero
...which is the best kind, and you should probably stop there if you can. Being truly famous is a huge pain in the ass, but being locally famous is all free sex and free dope and the best parties and about twelveteen metric assloads of confidence that is woefully missing in nearly everyone you know, no matter how cool they pretend they are. Just make sure you have an eventual exit strategy and the guts to use it when the time arrives, 'cause the come-down is a real fang-clawed bitch and a half on wheels with a gun and sprinkles on top. OH LOOK WHAT'S IN THIS GIFT-WRAPPED BOX? IT'S A SWEATER KNITTED OF 50% WOOL AND 50% ENVY, PLEASE WEAR IT WHEN YOU ARE IN NEED OF WARMTH AND COMFORTING, I'M SURE IT WILL GROW ON YOU IF YOU DRYCLEAN ONLY.
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