I want to give you the grace that led me to this state of mind... it's beautiful
"I'm not ok. I'm not ok..."
I wish I was happy. I am so miserable. I don't even know what to write anymore. I don't see a point. I am to the point of just revoking all my ties to the world, but to Kyle... That way I don't get my feelings hurt, or get used, or lied too... I need to be happy... Why is it so hard for me to be happy... Ever since Monday night I haven't left my house unless it was for work. And I probably won't until I go to Birmingham next weekend. All I need is Halo and a mountain dew... It for some reason helps me to lose weight... My mom even mentioned i had lost weight at Great Panda last night... I think thats good, but Kyle doesn't. He worries about me so much... I wish he wouldn't... Another strange thing is that for the past day or so I have felt light-headed and dizzy... I don't have a clue why either...
I wish I was happy. I am so miserable. I don't even know what to write anymore. I don't see a point. I am to the point of just revoking all my ties to the world, but to Kyle... That way I don't get my feelings hurt, or get used, or lied too... I need to be happy... Why is it so hard for me to be happy... Ever since Monday night I haven't left my house unless it was for work. And I probably won't until I go to Birmingham next weekend. All I need is Halo and a mountain dew... It for some reason helps me to lose weight... My mom even mentioned i had lost weight at Great Panda last night... I think thats good, but Kyle doesn't. He worries about me so much... I wish he wouldn't... Another strange thing is that for the past day or so I have felt light-headed and dizzy... I don't have a clue why either...