The Lightning Strike chapter 8
Don't want fluffy? Try the alternate ending?
The moment consciousness hit him, Dean knew something was horribly wrong. His entire body was in pain. He kept his eyes closed and tried to listen for clues to tell him what was different. He could hear muffled voices and a quiet, constant beeping. He was hit with a wave of panic.
He knew he was no longer in the motel room with Buffy and he didn't know where she was or if she was okay. He didn't know if whoever had him had done something to her, but if they had, he would kill them.
Slowly, he blinked open his eyes to see his father's very relieved face. "Dean, " John said softly, "hey buddy, it's okay. You're going to be okay."
"Dad?" he croaked. "Where -"
"Don't try to talk, yet. You're in the hospital, but you're going to be okay."
#*#*#*#
John snapped shut his phone and tried to give Dean a hopeful look. "Sam must be in class. I'll try again later."
Dean snorted. Sam wasn't in class; Dad and Sam still weren't speaking. "I'll call him when we get to Bobby's."
John nodded and helped Dean into the wheelchair as the nurse entered his room. She handed John some paperwork and gave Dean a cheerful smile. "Take care of yourself, Dean. No more driving in tornadoes, you hear me? We brought you back twice. Don't go testin' whether the third time's a charm."
"Yes, ma'am." Driving. Dean remembered driving during a storm; he remembered the lightning. As he waited for his dad to drive the truck to the hospital entrance, he wondered pointlessly what had happened to his car.
On the drive to Bobby's, John hated how quiet Dean was. The boy who usually never shut up, now wouldn't talk at all.
Dean stared out the window. Had all that been a dream? The whole summer, meeting Buffy, taking her home, falling - Dean refused to accept that none of it had happened, that he had imagined all of it. The ache was real. The feeling of losing everything was real. How could Buffy not be real? She couldn't be just some girl he imagined.
Growing up, Dean's fantasy girls had always been helpless Playboy bunny types that needed him to rescue them. They had never been girls like Buffy. They had never been hunters. Why would his mind suddenly create someone like her? She had to be real. Those fantasy girls were never about love, but Dean knew he had been in love with Buffy.
#*#*#*#
Dean jerked away from his father's helping hand when they arrived at Singer Salvage. "Dad, I got it, I'm not a frickin' invalid," he groused as he hopped out of the truck.
"Fine," his father said as patiently as he could. He held out the crutches for Dean to take. "The doc said you're not to put your full weight on it."
Dean snatched the crutches with an angry huff, but hobbling up Bobby's steps took more effort than he realized. Even though it was late autumn, his short journey from the truck to the door made him sweat.
There was something off in Bobby's welcome, but Dean was too tired to worry about it. All he wanted to do was sleep; when he slept, he had amazing dreams.
After getting Dean settled into a room, Bobby said, "The car's coming along. She's got a date with a paint outfit next week. Then she'll be looking good as new."
"Thanks, Bobby," Dean replied quietly, though his expression showed his true gratitude.
Bobby shot a quick look over his shoulder at John. Then asked in a low voice, "Hey, do you happen to remember what happened to you?"
Dean's eyes fell. He remembered everything, but he knew that's not what Bobby meant. "I remember driving in a bad storm and waking up in the hospital."
"Right, well, I'll let you get some rest. Holler if you need anything."
Dean watched Bobby shut the door. Was it just his imagination or did Bobby seem disappointed by his answer? Dean knew he had been to Bobby's twice with Buffy, but there was no way Bobby knew that, was there?
Just as he had every night since he'd been 'back', Dean dreamed of Buffy.
The Texas heat didn't bother them. The music was loud, but it was a slow song. Dean pulled Buffy up against him and began to sway to the music.
Dean's hands held her tightly to him even as one slid further down her back. The way their bodies slotted together made Dean feel a different kind of heat.
He didn't want to be dancing anymore. He wanted to be in their room, in their bed, showing her how much he loved her. Buffy slowly dragged her nails down his back, loving how his muscles felt under her fingers and making him groan softly. "God, I want you," he whispered into her ear.
Buffy met his eyes but didn't have words. He kissed her softly, but it wasn't enough for Buffy, she dragged him into one of the Owl's Nest's backrooms and pressed him against the wall. She sucked on his lower lip and tugged at his shirt in order to touch bare skin.
Dean spun them so she was against the wall. Suddenly, her shorts were gone, his jeans were at his knees, and her legs were wrapping around him. In the next instant he was inside her, practically knocking the breath out of her as his every thrust slammed her into the wall. He slipped a hand under her shirt and cupped her breast and teased her nipple. Buffy had to stop kissing him in order to moan loudly. She panted his name as her body quivered around him.
Dean jolted awake in bed, cursing the empty room.
Even though the caller I.D. Read 'Bobby', Sam was nervous to answer. "Hey, Bobby, how's it going?" he asked with a tiny tremor in his voice.
"Hey, Sammy, it's going good now that you've finally answered your phone," Dean said with humor in his voice.
"Dean! Ohmigod! Is it really you?"
"Yeah, kid, it's me.-"
"And you're at Bobby's? How? What happened to you? Where were you?" Sam took a breath, but didn't allow Dean to answer. "Man, I thought you were dead."
Dean chuckled at Sam's obvious relief and excitement. "Yeah, I'm at Bobby's. Dad found me in a Texas hospital. I guess a tornado got the best of me or something. As to where I was? I don't know. Over the rainbow or in a coma. Take your pick."
"Dude," Sam sighed, "you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice."
"You, too, Sammy. But, enough about me. Tell me all about Stanford and the chicks you're scoring with. Lie if you have to. I don't mind."
"I don't know, Bobby, he just seems so miserable," John said, staring into his coffee cup.
"You didn't see 'em, John, I'd never seen him so happy," Bobby replied.
"I saw him. He wanted to help me with a case in Alabama."
"Them, John, you didn't see them, together. They were," Bobby paused, as he remembered how Buffy and Dean looked at each other. "I think he was in love with her."
"A Slayer." John shook his head. "And you're sure she's dead?"
"Well, as sure as anyone can be. I have her obit in the other room and I got the same story from that council over in England. The question is, do we tell him?"
John stared at his friend. "I don't know. I guess I'm hoping he won't remember." Then John asked what was really concerning him. "Bobby, Dean wasn't dead. So, where'd we pull him back from? How could they have even … crossed paths?"
"I don't know. That kind of thinking is way above my pay grade."
Dean knew he had been here with Buffy just a few weeks earlier. He could remember it clear as day. He just needed proof; something that told him he didn't imagine the whole thing.
He carefully picked through Bobby's things, careful not to disturb anything that would give his search away. He found nothing on the desk that mentioned him or Buffy. On bookshelf number three he found what he was looking for: VAMPYR. That was the book Bobby showed Buffy that made her remember everything. Carefully, Dean took the book from the shelf in order to flip through it, but he didn't get far. The obituary for Buffy Summers was tucked in the end page.
He collapsed into Bobby's ratty armchair and read it. He read it a hundred times, until tears blurred his vision, but he didn't believe a word. Buffy wasn't dead. She wasn't. She couldn't be.
How could he have memories of being with her, of seeing this book, if she were dead? How could he have met her if he was in a coma?
He didn't hear his dad come in the room. He only realized John was there when he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Dean," John murmured. "But I couldn't let you die, son." He moved a few steps away, but kept his eyes on Dean. "You were lying in that hospital bed, broken and slipping further away every minute."
"I know Dad," Dean said over the lump in his throat. He wiped his eyes and looked up at John. "The thing is, how does Bobby have this if she and I weren't here this summer? How does he even know who she is?"
"You were here," Bobby said from the doorway. "You were like a spirit. You would just appear and then she would be there, too. When I found out she was a Slayer, we were scared silly."
"Scared? Why?"
John and Bobby looked at each other before answering. "A Slayer is very powerful and even though she fights on our side, she's made from demonic energy. We didn't know why she'd be after you."
Dean shook his head. "Buffy wasn't 'after me'. I was helping her remember who she was and where she was from."
"We were worried that she'd harm you or take you with her," John said. "We knew she was dead."
Dean wasn't ready to believe that, yet. "Dad, you would have liked her, she was awesome."
After dinner that night, Dean announced, "When the car's done, I'm leaving for California."
Both Bobby and John were shocked. "You're what?" John asked.
Bobby asked, "Why?"
"Because that is where she and I were headed. Buffy had a sister. I've got to make sure she's all right."
John looked like he didn't approve of Dean's plan. "Dean, don't do this to yourself."
"Dad, she's just a kid. She's living on a hell-mouth. I gotta make sure she's okay."
John nodded slowly. "Then I'll go with you." Seeing Dean's eyes widen in surprise, John added, "Maybe I'll check on Sammy while you check on the girl." The look on Dean's face was the closest to a smile John had seen.
Dean crouched and carefully placed the flowers by Buffy's head stone. "Saved the world a lot," he read. "I bet you did, sweetheart," Dean sighed and stood up. "I'm sorry, Buffy, I'm so damn sorry. I wish I was with you. You gotta know I didn't want to leave, my dad pulled me back. I never would have left you. You've got to believe that."
"I should have told you how much... I should have told you that I loved you long before that last day. It's like some part of me knew I wasn't good enough. A guy like me doesn't get a girl like you, Buffy. Not for keeps anyway." His throat was tightening as he gave into his grief. "I miss you so much, Buffy. I'd do anything to..." he stopped himself.
"I hope you're not fighting anymore. I hope you're finally at peace. Don't worry about your sister. I'm going to make sure she's okay. I promise I'm not going to let anything happen to her." He wiped his face. "I hope, wherever you are, you're happy, you deserve to be happy."
#*#*#*#
Dean followed Dawn for two days before he felt confident that she was safe. The girl never seemed to be alone. She'd get rides to and from school and at school she had a small group of friends.
Dean tapped the steering wheel nervously after parking. He read a scrap of paper then checked the address. "The house number is still 1630, just like it was five minutes ago," he complained to himself. "C'mon Winchester, grow a pair. Go knock on the door and talk to the sister. Worry about how to explain who you are later."
Dean climbed from the car before he chickened out again. Walking up to the door, Dean felt a tightness in his chest.
Coming to Sunnydale meant putting Buffy to rest, knocking on the door would be the final step. It would confirm she was dead and he would be able to go on with his life. He raised his hand to knock, but the sounds from within stopped him. He peeked in the window and saw several people laughing and smiling. A red headed woman raised a glass in a toast and the rest cheered and drank.
Dean nodded to himself. If Buffy's sister was in there, she was doing fine. She certainly didn't need some stranger dredging up memories of her dead sister and ruining the good time they were having.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Early fall 2006 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dean was tired; tired of hunting, tired of carrying his father's secret, tired of not having a life of his own. The words of that damned crossroads demon echoed in his mind every night as he tried to sleep. "Because your misery's the whole point. It's too much fun to watch. Knowing how your daddy died for you, how he sold his soul. You wake up and your first thought is, "I can't do this anymore." You're all lit up with pain. You blew it, Dean! I could have given you what you need. I could have brought them both back. You'd have your daddy and your girl." His 'girl'? That demon didn't know what she was talking about.
#*#*#*#
Sam and Dean were walking out of a coffee shop in Dubuque, Iowa when Dean stopped dead in his tracks, forcing Sam to stumble just to avoid spilling his coffee down Dean's back. "Dude!" Sam barked as the hot coffee sloshed on his hand.
Dean took a step, mumbled "Sorry," but didn't stop staring at the blonde across the street.
Sam followed his brother's eye line to the blonde and shook his head. Was his brother ever going to grow out of 'girl watching'? He walked to a table and pulled his laptop from his bag. After a minute, he noticed Dean hadn't joined him. He found his brother at the corner, still watching the woman. When she walked into a shop, Dean turned and finally joined him.
"You know her or something?" Sam asked.
"No. How would I know some chick in Iowa?" Dean answered brusquely.
But his denial only made Sam more curious as to why his brother had been watching the woman. His interest was piqued even more when Dean returned to watching her the moment she left the shop.
"Dean, seriously, what's the deal with the girl?"
"What girl?"
Sam's reply was a raised brow.
"Don't know what you're talking about, Sammy." Dean shifted in his seat as he took a quick look for the blonde. "You find a case or what?" he asked, leaning back in his chair.
Sam said something about a park being haunted, but Dean wasn't listening. He was wondering when he was going to stop thinking every petite blonde was Buffy.
"..but today there's a carnival..."
"Sounds good, Sammy."
"Dean, you're not even listening."
Dean gave his brother an insulted look. "I am too listening. You said there's a carnival today."
Sam rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that means we can't do the job, today."
"Right," Dean nodded then began to grin slyly, "because we're going to the carnival." He stood up, gathered their cups, and smirked, "Come on, Sammy, there's probably clowns and everything."
Dean finished his corn dog and thought that maybe Sam had been right. Searching the grounds during the day was probably useless. He had been about to tell him that when Sam nudged his arm. "Dude, you're just this side of 'stalker'."
"Huh?"
Sam tilted his head to get Dean to look in that direction. "Isn't that the blonde from earlier?"
Dean didn't answer. Buffy's doppelganger was fifty feet away and laughing at the antics of a little boy. He watched as she took the child's hand and walked in the other direction. Like a moth to the flame, he followed.
Sam shook his head and chuckled as he trailed his brother.
The boy began to point to a tent that held vendors selling a multitude of items and the blonde allowed him to lead the way. Dean stopped just outside the tent ropes and watched them. With a wide smile on his face, the boy pulled her towards a booth of fire trucks. Dean wanted to watch them all day. He wanted a chance to see her face to face, to prove to himself that she wasn't Buffy, even though he knew she couldn't be.
Suddenly his view was blocked by his brother. "All right, man, what's the deal with this girl? How do you know her?"
Dean shook his head. "It's nothing, Sam. She just looks like someone." Shake it off, Winchester. "Uh, Miss April -last year, don't you think?"
Sam's disbelief was written on his face, but he didn't press Dean for the truth. "So, do you want to stay or should we get out of here until tonight"
"Yeah, let's get out of here." Dean turned to walk away, but a throng of teenagers shoved passed them into the tent, forcing them to wait.
#*#*#*#
When the horde had moved on and Dean and Sam could get on their way, Dean stole one last look at the girl. She looked panic-stricken as she turned about. Dean noticed the little boy was no longer at her side. He looked through the crowd of teenagers and saw the little boy was by the booth of fire trucks again. Grabbing Sam's arm he said, "Sam, get the girl. I'll get the kid."
It took Sam a minute to catch on, but then he was forcing his way through the crowd to the panicked mother.
Dean crouched next to the boy. "You like fire trucks?" The boy barely glanced at him as he continued to push an engine back and forth. "Yeah, me too. When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up to be a fireman." The boy gave him a slightly longer look, but moved to another truck. "I liked the hook and ladder truck, wanted to drive the back part. You don't see many of these anymore," Dean said and he raised the ladder on the toy truck.
"Danny!" The little boy turned to the sound of his name.
"Oh my god, Danny, you scared Mommy so much!" The woman knelt down and wrapped her arms around the boy.
Dean stood and nearly stumbled back. It hadn't been his imagination. Buffy was there, right in front of him. Buffy with a child and a ring on her finger. Dean wasn't ready for the flood of emotions he was feeling. How could she be real, let alone alive? Did she know who he was? Most of all, he wanted to escape without being seen by her. That was something he wasn't ready for.
Buffy looked up at Sam. "Thank you, I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found him."
Sam smiled warmly at them and said, "It wasn't me it was my.." he looked at Dean and saw his brother looking just like he did when John had discovered he had snuck out for a joy ride in the Impala.
It was then, that Buffy finally saw Dean. Her mouth fell open and she stared in shock. After a moment, she was able to say, "Dean? You're - h how are you even...?"
No matter how painful it was to see her, Dean couldn't quite rip his eyes away from the Buffy and the little boy. He barely managed to say, "Hey, Buffy." He finally looked towards his brother. "Well, Sam, we should go, leave these two alone." He hadn't made that deal at the crossroads, he hadn't made that wish with the djinn, but, he was sure this couldn't be right.
"What? Wait, Dean, please. You were dead," she said quietly, and then she looked at Sam, suddenly recognizing him. "Your friend said he was dead," she said in a whisper.
As the pieces began to come together in Sam's mind, he remembered Brady talking to her. He knewDean and the girl had a past, maybe they just needed some time together.
They were all distracted by the little boy tugging on Buffy's hand. "Mommy, I'm hungry."
Buffy looked at the little boy, "Okay, baby, just a minute, we'll leave in just a minute." She returned her attention to Dean. "Dean, I thought -"
"I have your obituary," Dean said quietly. "I put flowers on your," he stopped before saying 'grave' in front of the child. "How are you even -?" He shook his head to clear it. "Doesn't matter," he was suddenly wearing a mask of a smile. "It's good, right? Well, you're good, alive. So, uh, Sam and I are kinda working so we should leave now." His eyes pleaded with Sam to walk away, but his brother was watching the little boy.
"Mommy," the boy whined and leaned dramatically into Buffy's hip, "I'm starving!" He batted his eyelashes at her and put a hand on his throat like a person dying of thirst would do.
Sam couldn't hide his smile at the child's over the top dramatics. "We should get you something to eat, then." Sam looked at Buffy, first, then at Dean. "We should all get something to eat."
Sam ignored the looks of gratitude and annoyance that earned him and crouched down to talk to the boy. Sam took a good look at the little boy pulling on his mom's hand and was floored. Danny had bright green eyes and a smattering of freckles on his nose.
"Hi, Danny, I'm Sam and I'm practically starving, too. What should we get to eat?" The boy immediately became shy and turned his face against Buffy's leg. "How about French fries? Do you like French fries? I love French fries." Danny peeked at him and nodded. "Great, let's get some." Sam stood up. "I saw a truck selling them right outside this tent. Right by the playground." He smiled at Buffy, ignored Dean's death glare and led the way through the tent.
#*#*#*#
Sam insisted that Dean stay with Buffy as he went to get food for all of them. Buffy led Danny to a play-set with instructions to "play nice" and "come back when Sam arrives with the food".
They stood there watching him climb up ladders and go down the slide and do it again. Finally, Buffy spoke about the only topic she thought was safe. "What brings you guys to Iowa? You working a case."
"Sam thought these grounds were haunted or something."
Buffy shook her head. "Swamp gas." Dean looked surprised. "I'm serious," Buffy continued. "You really think I wouldn't check out a job in my own neighborhood?"
After another awkward silence Dean said, "Sorry about Sam. He could tell I knew you and must have thought we needed to talk; he's never been good at being subtle. So, uh, you're still a, you know?"
Buffy blinked at him a couple times while her mind caught up with his words. She was still coming to terms with the fact that Dean was real and was standing next to her. "Yeah, I'm still a Slayer, but not at all like before, there's a bunch of us now, so it's not just me."
She turned to him. "How are you here? Were you dead? I was dead, I think I was dead, and Willow, my friend, did this spell and..."
Dean wasn't looking at her, he kept his eyes on the little boy. "I don't know. I was with you and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in a hospital with my dad telling me I was going to be okay."
They fell silent, just watched the children playing. Dean kept thinking about that ring on her finger, about how he hadn't realized he missed her as much as he did. He never thought seeing her again would hurt so much. He felt like he was being held under water.
"So, looks like you got everything you wanted. That whole 'normal life' thing, married, kids, or kid anyway. That's great, Buffy, I'm really happy for you." He turned around to look for what was delaying his brother. "We'll get out of your hair as soon as Sam gets back."
"Dean, don't go, please?" She grabbed his arm and before he could argue, she continued, "I get that we're not in that place anymore, and you have moved on or whatever, but, please, give me one minute with you."
Before Dean could answer, Danny went whipping by them on his way to a nearby picnic table, shouting, "Sam's back!" He clambered onto the bench and grabbed a bunch of fries.
"Daniel James! That is not how you behave!" Buffy chided as she approached the table.
The boy turned to her and smiled around a mouthful of fries. "Shorry Mommy."
Buffy took a seat next to him. "Did you thank Sam for sharing his fries with you?"
"Thank you, Sam!" the boy sang and grabbed more fries.
"It's no problem, buddy, I got enough for all of us."
#*#*#*#
Dean took a seat by his brother, but didn't join in the lunch. He wondered how he could feel so happy and so miserable at the same time. Buffy was alive and had the 'normal' life she had always wanted. However, he could barely look at her or her son without it carving what was left of his heart. He remembered her telling him they were going to have a baby. He remembered how happy and scared that had made him. That was years ago, it didn't matter anymore. Dean knew that he should be happy for her and he was, he told himself. He was happy.
Sam watched Buffy steal glances at his brother. Her feelings for him were plain to see with every look in Dean's direction. Dean, however, seemed unable to make eye contact with anyone.
Sam's musings were interrupted when the little boy asked him, "How come you're so big?"
Before Buffy could say anything about Danny's manners, Sam pointed at the child with a fry. "Because my big brother always made me eat my vegetables."
Danny's eyes became huge. "You have a brother even bigger than you?"
Sam laughed. "No, I meant he's older, not bigger." From the corner of his eye, Sam saw Dean shake his head in amusement. "Dean's my brother."
Danny turned his wide eyes to Dean. "You are?"
"Yeah, I'm the one who made him eat his veggies so he'd grow up big and strong."
"You musta given him yours, too." Danny stuffed more fries into his mouth. "Tha's why he's bigger'n you."
Dean chuckled a little at the comment. "Yeah, probably."
#*#*#*#
Then, Danny pushed himself up and whispered in Buffy's ear. She made a show of frowning deeply and looking at her hands, but she removed her ring and held it out to him.
Danny took it and offered it to Sam. "Here. This is for the fries." He waved it until Sam took it from him. "It's worth a like a b'gillion dollars cuz it's gold and has a sparkly diamond."
Sam smiled fondly. "Thank you, but I couldn't take this, Danny, it's too much."
"No, it's okay. I can win another one at the fish pond." The boy jumped from his seat. "Can I go play now?"
"Yes, sweetie, but stay where I can see you," Buffy said as she took a napkin to his face and hands.
Dean looked from the ring in his brother's giant paws to Buffy and back. Sam couldn't help his self-satisfied smirk as he watched the tumblers click into place in Dean's mind. When he saw Dean look at Danny and do some obvious math in his mind, Sam said, "I'm going to take this stuff to the trash," and left them alone at the table.
#*#*#*#
When Sam had gone, Dean said, "I went to Sunnydale to check on your sister, like we had planned to do. I put flowers at your grave and went to your house, but I didn't have the guts to actually knock on the door." He took a breath. "Your sister was having a party or something and everyone seemed happy. I didn't want to bring everyone down by interrupting them and telling them about you."
Buffy gave him a small smile. "I went to Stanford to find Sam." Dean looked at her, stunned, Sam had never mentioned it. "A friend of his told me you died and I thought - I didn't think I could go on. When we got home, I asked my friend to do a spell to forget you and everything that happened," Buffy said, barely keeping her emotions in check. "But then I realized I was going to have a pretty big reminder of you in a few months."
Dean watched Sam grab Danny and make the boy giggle. "Danny's-?" Buffy nodded. "But he can't be. I was in a coma. I think. How is that even possible?" Dean asked.
Buffy gave him an incredulous look. "How is any of this possible?" she asked over a small laugh. "I was dead, you were in a coma, yet somehow I spent a summer with you, falling in love with you. We rode that motorcycle across the state and we made Danny," she said smiling at her son. "I stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago. Willow said she called back 'life', I guess Danny was 'life', too."
"Buffy, if I knew about you or about him, I would have -"
"I know," she said softly. She always knew that Dean would be there for her. They watched Sam chase Danny back to the slide. "Dean, this isn't a dream, right? I'm not going to wake up and find out you're not really sitting there, am I?"
Dean sighed. "I used to have dreams like that all the time. We'd be back in Texas or in Bobby's cabin…I hated those dreams."
Buffy nodded. "Me, too. It made everything so much harder when I woke up."
#*#*#*#
Dean left the table, kissed Buffy on the top of her head, and walked over to the slide. Dean gently pushed Sam. "My turn," he said taking Sam's spot at the bottom of the slide.
"Dude, Danny's your son, isn't he?" Sam whispered though he was smiling.
"Looks like," Dean answered with a soft smile for Danny as the boy slid down the slide towards him.
"How is that possible?"
Dean smirked, "Well Sammy, when a guy really likes a girl, sometimes they -"
Sam shoved him. "Jerk, you know what I meant."
Dean laughed lightly, "Sam, I don't know. When it comes to what happened that summer, I'm not gonna question it."
Danny tugged on Dean's hand and bent back to look at him. "Dean, will you push me on the swings?"
Dean looked at the swings, took quick glance at Buffy, and then crouched down to Danny's height. "You can go one those," he pointed to the playground swings, "or if Mommy says it's okay, we can go on those," Dean said pointing towards the carnival rides.
When Buffy was suddenly hit with three sets of excited Winchester puppy eyes, how could she say 'no'.
#*#*#*#
As the day went on, Sam was astounded by the subtle changes in his brother. Dean looked like a man without a care in the world. The more time they spent with Buffy and Danny, the more obvious it became that Buffy knew his brother very well.
They stood before the concessions, taking in all of their choices. Sam's stomach turned as he noticed that everything was deep fried.
"Well there is only one acceptable choice," Buffy said.
"Get all three," Dean replied.
Sam had no idea what they were referring to when Buffy grinned and took a step forward to place an order. Dean grabbed her arm and said, "Wait. Sam's not going to eat any of that."
"Right. And I should get Danny real food." She looked around. "Ooh - fruit wagon." She pulled some money out of her purse. "Sam, would you get Danny a fruit cup?"
"Sure, Buffy. What are you guys going to get?" Sam asked as he took Danny's hand.
"Deep fried Snickers on a stick," they said in unison, making Sam shake his head and laugh.
Dean smiled back at him before turning to Buffy, "And cheesecake? Or S'more?"
"Mmm, s'more. No, both. We'll split it."
Just as Sam was walking away, Dean called to him. "Hey, Sam, see if they have margaritas over there."
Buffy swatted Dean's arm. "Not funny."
Dean grinned. "What? I think I saw a karaoke place somewhere, too."
Buffy huffed and tried to look annoyed but she was smiling. "Seriously, not funny."
Dean started to chuckle. "What do you mean? We could have a couple margaritas and you could sing, and the tables looked sturdy enough if you wanted to dance."
Buffy swatted his arm again, but she was blushing furiously and laughing with him. "Just for that, I'm not sharing my s'more with you."
#*#*#*#*#
When, the festival closed for the night, Buffy was happier than she'd been in years. Dean was carrying a sleeping little boy in one arm and holding her hand with his other one. Sam's arms were full of stuffed animals they had won from the carnival games.
Buffy spent the morning on a conference call with her sister and her best friend.
"So, you're saying he's back from the dead?" Dawn asked.
"Not so much. He wasn't dead. He was just in a coma or something. Well, technically, he did die, the doctors brought him back, though," Buffy explained.
"He must have been in a 'limbo' state like you," Willow said and then went on to ask, "and he remembered you?"
"Yeah, he remembered me."
Dawn thought she heard some worry in her sister's voice. "Are you going to let him see Danny?"
Buffy sighed, "Yeah, about that..." She went on to explain how Sam and Dean reunited them when she and Danny were separated at the fair.
"Are you going to see him again?" Willow asked.
"He's supposed to come by later today," she answered in a voice that belied her nerves.
Dawn knew something was bothering Buffy more than she was saying. "Buffy, what's wrong? Don't you want him to see Danny? You could tell him no or even leave before he gets there."
"No, he was great with Danny. It's just," Buffy paused as she felt her chest tighten. "I fell so hard for him last time. I'm over him or I was over him. I amover him. I mean I can't... we hardly know each other. So this is nothing, right? But now, he's alive and I know he's alive... what am I going to tell Danny when Dean leaves tomorrow and -?"
"Breathe Buffy," Willow said with a slight laugh. "Is Dean as nice as you remember?"
"Yeah. He's exactly like I remember."
"Then don't worry. It'll be okay."
Dean spent the morning in his head. Yesterday and last night he had acted on emotion; now he had time to think. Not only had his time with Buffy been real, but they had a son.
Even though it was barely a tremor, the bouncing knee told Sam that Dean was anxious. The way he stared at a blank wall told Sam that he needed to be pulled out of his head. He was about to say something when Dean stood up.
"We should get out of here. The job's a bust. And we've got-"
"What? I thought you were going over to Buffy's place. Remember? You were going to spend the day with Danny and -"
"Yeah. No, I'm not doing that." Dean grabbed his duffel bag.
"Dean, you promised the kid you were -"
"Sammy don't do this. I can't."
Sam wasn't accepting that answer. "What do you mean you 'can't'?" he demanded.
"Sam, she got out. She's happy and they're safe. Why the hell should I drag them into...they're better off."
Sam felt like his brother had dumped ice water on him. "Dean, you can't be serious. You're only stopping by for one day, a couple of hours. Come on, you're the kid's dad."
"I don't know anything about being a dad. It would be a mistake to get close to them and put them in danger."
"They're not asking for a lifetime commitment, just an afternoon of hanging out with Buffy and your son." Sam took the bag from Dean's hand. "For what it's worth, you did a pretty good job raising me."
Dean almost smiled at that.
"Come on, Dean."
Dean took a deep breath. "The demon is still out there, man. We still have a job to do."
"Yeah, okay, but don't disappoint Danny. You promised you'd see him today."
Dean fell quiet. Disappoint them today, disappoint them tomorrow, did it matter? He'd end up disappointing them eventually.
Sam grinned figuring that he was winning the argument. But before he could gloat, Dean's phone rang. Sam grabbed it from the table before Dean could. "It's Buffy," he said smiling. "Hey, Buffy, it's Sam. We were just about to come over," he said ducking away from his brother's grab for the phone.
Sam listened as Buffy spoke, all the while twisting and dodging away from his brother.
"I'll be sure to tell him," Sam said as he finally stopped moving and handed the phone to Dean. "Danny's napping. Seems we wore him out pretty good yesterday so she asked if we could wait a few hours before stopping over."
Dean glared at his brother. That had been a perfect out and Sam ignored it.
Sam left Dean at Buffy's with the promise to return in a few hours. While Sam drove off, dialing Bobby Singer as he went, Dean, Buffy and Danny shared a moment of awkward silence.
The moment was broken when Danny shyly asked, "You wanna see my room."
"Absolutely," Dean smiled and followed the eager boy to his room.
"Cool bed," Dean remarked upon seeing the blue race car bed.
"Yeah. These are my cars. This is my Pokemon stuff. These are my books, these are my lego blocks, that's my dinosaur - he's a T-rex, and those are my movies," Danny said pointing to each in turn.
"What's this?" Dean asked pointing to a large crayon drawing that was taped to the wall.
"That's my family," Danny answered. He pointed to the two stick figures in the center. "That's me and Mommy." Next he pointed to a group of figures on the left side of the drawing. "That's Auntie Dawn, Grandpa Giles, Uncle Xander, and Auntie Willow." Finally he pointed to a black scribbled blob. "That's Daddy."
Dean stared at the black scribble. "Your dad's a black blob?"
"No," Danny giggled. "Daddy's in heaven. He lives in the clouds. Mommy said when it storms, I don't hafta be scared cuz that's him saying 'hi'." Dean stared at the cloud until Danny asked, "What do you want to do?"
Clearing his throat, he said, "I don't care, Danny, whatever you want is fine with me."
#*#*#*#*#
An hour later there were lego towers and cars all over Danny's room. After allowing Dean to take a picture of their 'awesome' (Danny's new favorite word) creation, Danny and his dinosaur destroyed everything.
Buffy couldn't scold, because the sight of Dean and Danny wearing identical smiles made her heart clench. "Let's pick this up and then we can watch a movie."
After ruling out everything remotely educational, Dean suggested, "Finding Nemo?"
"No. The mommy fish dies," Danny explained quietly. "Then the daddy fish loses Nemo and -"
"Okay," Dean said quickly, as he returned the movie to the shelf, "no Nemo. Uh, Lion King?"
Danny shook he head and still looked sad, "No. His daddy dies."
"Okay," Dean said taking a breath. He shot Buffy a look. Doesn't Disney make any movie without a parent dying?
Buffy shrugged as an answer.
"Wanna watch Toy Story? There's a cowboy and a space man and aliens and a T-Rex!" Danny asked excitedly.
#*#*#*#*#
As Danny and Dean got the movie ready, Buffy busied herself making popcorn and getting drinks. But, mostly, she worked at controlling her emotions. At the moment, she had everything she ever wanted, and that usually meant everything was going to fall apart. Or worse she'd wake up and the past two days would have been a dream.
It physically hurt her to see how well Danny and Dean got along. Dean was patient and playful and so much more than Buffy's expectations.
"Mommy! It's starting! Hurry up!" Danny's call from the other room, brought her to the present.
"Yeah, Mommy, the movie's start- you okay?" Dean had gone to fetch her and see if she needed help when he found her on the verge of tears.
Buffy blinked her wet eyes and nodded. She saw Dean's expression change from happy to concerned to self-doubt, and she had to erase that. "I'm fine. I just never... Yeah," she swallowed and waved him off, "I'm fine."
Dean studied her for a minute, he didn't know what to say to make her feel better. Instead, he took her hand and pulled her into a hug.
"It's on!" Danny yelled from the other room.
Dean pulled away, grabbed the juice box and the glass of Coke and walked back to Danny.
Buffy slumped against the counter. Yeah, keep telling yourself you're fine.
When Buffy joined them on the couch, Danny moved from his spot next to Dean to Dean's lap. Dean tugged Buffy's arm so that she was snug against him. As he watched Buzz Lightyear and Woody, Dean thought, I want this, for one friggin' day. I know I can't have this. But I'm taking this for one day.
When Dean tucked Danny into bed, the boy asked, "Will you come play again tomorrow? I'll let you pick the movie."
Dean's heart stopped for a second. "I don't know, buddy. That's up to your mom."
"Don't you wanna come? Mommy likes you. I know she does. She never lets anyone come over and she let you come today."
Dean smiled; the kid sure knew how to get to him. "I want to be here every day, Danny, but that's not..." Dean couldn't say more as Danny was suddenly wrapping his arms around his neck and hugging tightly.
"You know how to use a phone, right?" Dean asked once Danny released him. "How about I give you my number and you can call me anytime?" Dean got up and took a crayon and carefully wrote his number for the boy. "There," he said, putting the paper on Danny's desk. "Now, even if I can't see you everyday, you can talk to me any time you want."
Danny pouted, talking wasn't the same as playing. "Okay."
"Okay, that's my man." Dean could tell Danny wasn't happy, and it killed him, but he couldn't make promises he couldn't keep.
"Good night, Dean," Danny whispered as he hugged him, again.
Dean returned the hug. "G'night, buddy."
#*#*#*#
"Sam should be here soon," Dean said, once he and Buffy were alone. "Thanks for today. It was great hanging out with you and Danny."
"I'm glad you were able to come over. I'm glad you had fun," Buffy replied. God, why did this have to be so uncomfortable? The last few years were like an ocean separating them. "You can come over whenever you want. You're welcome here - like whenever."
"Thanks." Dean smiled a little and nodded and wished Sam would hurry because being alone with Buffy was more than just a little awkward.
"Buffy, you've got a great life here. I don't want to do anything to screw it up." He huffed a breath. "Today was something I never thought I'd have, so thanks for letting me see you guys. But with everything, I would understand if you'd rather I stayed away." He gave her a small understanding smile.
Buffy gaped at him. Stay away? That was the last thing on her mind. His smile infuriated her and broke her heart. Did he really think she didn't want him around?
Before she could say anything, Dean's phone buzzed alerting him of a text from Sam. At the same time, he heard the car pull up outside.
"It's Sam." Dean leaned forward and kissed Buffy briefly on the lips. He had wanted to say more, but his words kept dying in his throat.
She stopped him at the door. She touched his cheek and kissed him, hoping to pour all of her feelings into that kiss. Gradually her hand move to the back of his neck, her other hand gripped his jacket tightly. When she pulled back, they were both breathless. "Come back tomorrow," she whispered. "Please give me one more perfect day." As she shut the door, she knew she was falling for him again.
#*#*#*#
In the Impala, Sam handed Dean his phone. "It's Bobby. He wants to talk to you."
Dean gave his brother a confused look, because if Bobby had wanted to talk, why hadn't he called Dean's phone. "Hey, Bobby. What's going on?"
Sam had told Bobby everything that had happened the day before, meeting Buffy and Danny and Dean's reaction yesterday versus his reaction today.
"Son, it's time we had a little talk."
For the next several minutes, Dean listened and was only allowed to say a few words. When he finally hung up, Dean glared at his brother.
"What?" Sam asked innocently. "Someone had to talk some sense into you."
The next day, Dean tried to get Sam to join them, but Sam refused saying he didn't want to crowd them.
When Dean pulled up to Buffy's house she and Danny were playing in the yard. Buffy froze staring at the car. She trembled when Dean's door creaked as he opened it.
"Dean!" Danny yelled running to him for a tackle/hug.
Dean scooped him up and spun him around making him laugh.
Buffy's breathing became rapid as she approached the car and ran a hand along the fender. "It's the same car. I love this car," she murmured. Dazed, she blinked up at Dean. "You still have the car."
Dean looked at her as if it were obvious. "Why would I get rid of the car?"
His reply snapped her from her thoughts. "I thought it was destroyed or did I dream that?"
Dean smiled proudly. "I rebuilt her. I'd never let this car go."
Buffy smiled fondly at the car and then at him. "Good." She looked admiringly at the car again. "Unless you're going to give it to me. But that's the only acceptable alternative."
Dean chuckled at her response, but Danny pulled his hand. "Come on. Now we can have a real game. You ever play baseball?"
Later, Dean was putting Danny down for his nap and Buffy knew what that meant. She braced herself for the good-bye and worried about what to tell Danny.
When the moment came, she still wasn't ready. She was in her kitchen, trying to keep busy, distracting herself by baking cookies. She would use them later, to smooth over the news of Dean's leaving when she told Danny.
"I've finally got Danny to go to sleep," Dean said when he joined her in the kitchen. "I only had to read four books."
Dean saw her silent struggle over her emotions, and asked, "You okay?"
Buffy shrugged and tried to give him a reassuring smile.
"You know I don't want to leave," Dean said quietly.
"I know," she whispered. "You'll come back, right? I mean, sometime, if you want, you'll come back." She barely looked at him as she spoke.
"No, that's not what I want." Her sad expression told Dean that she hadn't understood him. "Buffy, I want to stay. I know it's too soon to be Ward, June and the Beav, but I want to be something."
Buffy stopped what she was doing and stared at him in shock and disbelief. Was he really saying what she thought he was saying?
"I'm not looking to move in here, but I'm sure I can find a place nearby. At least until we're ready for whatever comes next."
"You'll really - what about Sam?" Buffy wasn't ready to get her hopes up.
"Sam's got the demon after him. He's going to need all the help he can get. Who better to do that than my badass Slayer and her slayerettes?"
Buffy's smile grew brighter. She felt like she was finally able to breathe again. "We can do that. Ridding the world of demons is kind of our specialty."
Relieved, Dean smiled and walked over to her. Seeing all the ingredients on the counter Dean asked, "What is all this?"
"I'm making cookies," she replied a little breathlessly as Dean got closer.
He reached around her and took a finger-full of dough from the bowl. Sucking his finger clean he said, "Mmm, tastes good. These another 'specialty'?"
Unable to speak, Buffy nodded as she watched him lick the dough from his finger. I shouldn't find that so sexy, she told herself.
Dean leaned closer, his body pinning hers against the counter, and wrapped an arm around her as he stole more dough, this time having her take it off his finger. Electricity shot through Dean as she licked his finger.
"How long does Danny usually sleep?" His voice a husky whisper, his eyes on her lips.
"Two hours," Buffy answered feeling her heart begin to race.
Dean shoved the bowl and ingredients to the side to set her on the counter top. He stood between her knees, resting his hands on her hips.
"Good, I want time to remind you of my 'specialties'." He kissed her slowly, like he had been starving for her and she responded the same way. Dean was the oxygen she needed to live.
He pulled her toward him, Buffy wrapped her legs around him, and he carried her to her bedroom. "Two hours doesn't seem like enough time," he said between kisses.
"Maybe tonight we can try for longer," Buffy suggested before kissing his neck, hoping to make him 'mmm' like he used to. He held her tighter and he rewarded her with the quiet moan she longed to hear.
He leaned back to look her in the eye. "Forever wouldn't be enough time with you."