The Lightning Strike Chapter 6
Dean didn't care if he found a hunt for them. Hell, he was beginning not to care if he ever hunted again. As he watched Buffy carry food from the kitchen to the small picnic table, he wondered if she knew how good she looked in those cut-offs. The week they spent hanging out at Bobby's cabin had given Buffy a golden tan and Dean wanted to spend every moment running his fingers over her soft skin. However, if he acted on that feeling right then, like he wanted to, their burgers would burn. Instead, he took a long drink from his beer and flipped the meat on the grill.
The sun glinting off Dean's beer as he tipped it back, caught Buffy's eye. Buffy felt the sudden desire to be his beer bottle. She watched his throat work as he swallowed and it took every ounce of will-power she had not to go over to him and kiss his neck. She smiled to herself as she thought of the little mmm sound Dean made whenever she kissed a certain spot on his neck.
*#*#*#*
Once they had finished their meal, Buffy brought Dean another beer as he made a small campfire. "It's really nice here," Buffy said quietly.
"Yeah, Bobby used to love taking us here." Dean stood behind her and enfolded her in his arms. He brushed her hair to one side to allow himself to kiss her neck.
Buffy closed her eyes and rested her head against his shoulder as his kiss warmed her in a way the campfire never could. But, she remembered she had to tell him something. "Dean? Uh, not that I don't love you doing that, but -"
Dean stopped immediately. "But what?"
"Well," Buffy sighed, unwrapped his arms from her and stepped forward. "We left Texas because I wasn't from there. Well, I'm certainly not from here either."
Dean nodded. He knew he was being selfish, wanting to keep her for himself. "So we should get going, huh?"
"I don't know. I mean, I love being here, and even though I'm not from here, I kinda don't want to go anywhere else." She took his hands. "Do you think there might be another way we can figure out where I'm from?"
Dean felt like he was falling into her eyes. "I know you don't want to hunt, but maybe if we did some work with the weapons you'll remember something."
Buffy stood on her toes. "Okay. Tomorrow, you can show me all those shiny weapons you keep in your car." She kissed him.
"Shiny?" Dean asked against her lips, making her smile.
She nodded but didn't stop kissing him. "I like the shiny ones."
"Well?" They stood together peering into the open trunk of the Impala. "Where do you want to start?"
Buffy's mouth twisted in indecision. "I don't know." Her fingers traced over the rifle, but it didn't feel natural to her. "Maybe the throwing stars?"
Dean shook his head. "We know you can throw. Remember darts? How about the handgun? I've got a Glock here that would be perfect for you." He grabbed the weapon, some bullets, and a target and headed toward the field next to the cabin.
After attaching the target to a post, Dean checked the gun. "All right, watch me, then you try. Safety. Aim. Exhale as you gently squeeze the trigger." He fired off a round, squarely hitting the bulls-eye.
Buffy took the gun and repeated Dean's actions. However, she had not been prepared for the recoil and the bullet went off target. "Geez that was awful."
"That was my fault. Forgot to warn you about that. Try again. Remember it's gonna kick like that and you should be fine."
She fired three shots in succession; each one hitting the target.
"You're a natural," Dean said as she handed him the gun.
Buffy made a face. "I don't know, Dean. It didn't feel right."
Taking that into consideration, Dean looked over his gun collection. "That one's pretty," Buffy said pointing to a nickel plated gun with ivory handles.
Dean reluctantly handed her that gun. "Alright try this one. It's lighter and you might like its balance better than the Glock."
Buffy took aim and hit the target four times, then turned to Dean with a bright smile.
Dean struggled to keep the grin from his face. Buffy had turned the target into a smiley face. "You wanna try the rifle or the shotgun next?"
Buffy wrinkled her nose. "No, I think I'd rather try hand to hand."
Dean smirked. "We try hand to hand, and you'd win no question."
Buffy's brows shot up.
"Like I'm not gonna let you get me on the ground and have your way with me," he teased.
"Aw, are you saying you're defenseless against me?"
"You know it, sweetheart," Dean answered, pulling her into a kiss.
Buffy giggled into the kiss. "Dean," she chided playfully, "we're supposed to be working with weapons."
Dean backed off. "Okay, fine. How do you feel about archery? Bobby's got a couple bows and a crossbow around here somewhere."
"Ooh, a crossbow, I like the sound of that."
The air was hot and dry and the slight breeze did little to alleviate the heat. Dean had just climbed onto the pier after having swum in the river to cool off. Grinning mischievously at where Buffy sat reading, he shook his head like a dog. Water went flying in all directions, making Dean laugh when Buffy screeched. With a self-satisfied smile on his face, he sat on the pier with his back against the boat support and closed his eyes to the sun.
"You're a brat."
"Yep."
"You got my book wet."
"You're on the river, you're supposed to get wet. How come you're chicken to go swimming with me?"
Buffy looked at the murky water then back at him. "I'm not chicken; it's just the water looks a bit icky."
"Icky?"
"Yeah, icky. And I don't like not being able to see to the bottom. Something might brush up against me." Buffy shuddered.
"'Something?'"
"Like a fish or even some sea weed. It'd be gross."
Dean nodded. "Like I said, you're chicken." He cracked an eye open to see her flustered reaction. He sat up and looked at her intently. "And I gotta say I'm hurt. Like I'd let 'something icky' get you."
Buffy huffed a laugh.
Dean crawled over to her, took the book from her hands, and cupped her cheek. "The only thing I'd let come near you is me," he said before he kissed her.
Buffy easily lost herself in the kiss, so she didn't notice how Dean had kept moving or that his arms had slipped around her. He broke off the kiss and winked at her just before rolling them both off the pier into the lake.
When she sputtered to the surface, she greeted Dean with a glare. "Oh, it is so on."
He grinned, "Bring it, sweetheart."
They chased and splashed and tackled each other until Dean found himself with Buffy's arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. He hummed into a kiss. "I think I won."
Buffy's brow quirked. "Oh really? I'm pretty sure I could take you down in a second without really trying."
Dean kissed her neck. "You're right you probably could. But I'm the one with the armful of hot girl. And that's a hell of a great prize, if you ask me."
Buffy shifted in his embrace. "Hey, you can't make with the neck kissage and think I'm going to give in."
Dean stopped kissing her neck and looked her in the eye. "Okay, fine. You win. Can we get back to the kissing now? Or do you have to dunk me under again?"
Buffy rolled her eyes as she thought. "Dunk you." She released her legs and shoved his shoulders and laughed as he fell under.
When he surfaced, Dean scooped her up and carried her to the shore. He set her down, but didn't let her go. He smiled and combed her wet hair off her face. The way he looked at her made Buffy's heart race and she couldn't help herself. "I love you."
Dean's smile faded a bit, but he kissed her in a way that made her forget that he hadn't said it in return.
That night, in bed, she said it again. She had her head on his chest and her fingers were drawing lazy patterns on his chest. "I love you."
Dean grabbed her hand and stopped its movement on his skin. "No, you don't."
Buffy pushed herself up on her elbow to look at him. "I don't?"
Dean dragged his hand over his head. "No, you don't, Buffy. There's like six billion people in the world. I'm the only one you know. You don't love me, you might think you do, but you don't."
Buffy wanted to laugh. "Are you saying if I knew more people, then I could love you?" she asked over a slight laugh.
Dean shook his head slightly, but didn't say anything. Finally he replied, "You don't love me, Buffy." He could tell Buffy wanted to argue, so he added, "You'll see. When you get home, you'll see."
Buffy didn't understand, but she didn't want to fight about it. She tenderly stroked Dean's chest and swore he was trembling. "Fine, Dean. Whatever."
She lay back on the pillow. You don't want me to tell you I love you, I won't tell you anymore. You can't stop how I feel.
Dean sighed and let Buffy curl up against him. There was no way on earth he was going to tell her he knew when she got home she'd forget all about Dean Winchester. Hell, even his family seemed to have forgotten about him. Despite what she said, Buffy wouldn't be different from anybody else.
Dean watched the shifting pattern of shadows created by the moon and the trees. He wished there was a way for him to stay with Buffy. He wished she still want him after she got home, but he knew better than to wish for something like that.
Time sped by. Neither Dean nor Buffy seemed to care that the world was getting along without them. Dean couldn't remember the last time he checked his phone, and Buffy didn't care that her last name was still unknown to her. All that mattered was each other.
It wasn't until Dean heard the Harleys making their annual trip up to Sturgis that he thought about returning to Sioux Falls to see if Bobby had learned anything about Buffy. But, it wasn't until the first leaves began to change that they actually made the drive to Singer Salvage.
#*#*#*#
"Dean, I'm surprised to see you again," Bobby said as Dean sheepishly ducked his head.
"Yeah, we kinda got sidetracked. Sorry about that." He grinned over at Buffy who blushed and nearly hid behind Dean.
"Well, come in I guess." Bobby stood aside and smiled when he saw their entwined hands as they passed. "So, you learn anything new since the last time we spoke?"
Dean shook his head. "No, but we haven't been looking too hard either."
Bobby tried to ignore how Buffy's blush had returned and how she nudged Dean's arm in a rebuke. "Well, I may have found something, but I'll let you be the judge." He went to bookcase and retrieved a book he hadn't opened for years. He set it on the table in front of Dean and Buffy.
VAMPYR
It meant nothing to Dean, but Buffy's eyes widened with recognition. "You know that book, don't you?" Bobby asked, though he knew her answer.
Buffy nodded slowly like the book had entranced her. "My watcher had one like it."
Dean turned to Buffy in shock. "Watcher? What's a watcher? Buffy, what else do you remember?"
Buffy shook herself free. "I, that man, his name is Giles. He's my watcher."
"What man? The one from your dreams?"
Buffy nodded. "The older man with the accent." She faced Dean. "He's like a trainer or a mentor. I'm the Slayer and he helps me know what I'm up against."
"You're a 'slayer'? What the hell is that?"
Buffy opened her mouth to answer, but instead, Bobby spoke up. "Into every generation, she is born," he said. "One girl in all the world, a Chosen One, the Slayer. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness, to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number." Bobby returned the book to its shelf.
When he turned back around, he found Dean scrutinizing the girl. "Rupert Giles is, or at least he was, a watcher. He and his Slayer guarded the hellmouth."
Buffy closed her eyes. If she could go back in time and stop them from coming here, stop Dean from learning this, she could stay 'Buffy'. Now, now, he knows and everything will be different.
"I knew it!" Dean crowed. "I didn't know you were a Slayer, but I knew you were a hunter. Same thing, right?" He looked from Buffy to Bobby and back. "Buffy, this means I was right. A demon or something did this to you. No one is looking for you because they all think you're dead."
Buffy opened her eyes to look at him. He really didn't care that she was a slayer? To him she was still just 'Buffy'. She turned to Bobby. "Is that right? Do they think I'm dead?"
Bobby looked between them and sighed, "Yeah, it's a good bet."
"Don't think about that right now, Buffy. We'll straighten that out when we get you home." He gave Buffy's shoulders a reassuring squeeze and turned back to Bobby. "So, did you find out anything else about this Giles guy? Or where she's from? Anything?" Dean asked with an eager smile.
Bobby looked at the nervous girl and scratched his beard in thought before he answered. "The watcher's council is a secretive group, I'm lucky I got that much. But, I'm a sneaky bastard and I found out there's two hellmouths in the U.S. One's in California, a town called Sunnydale, and the other is Cleveland, Ohio."
Dean rubbed a hand over his mouth. "Well, Buff, where to? Ohio or sunny California?"
"There's more," Bobby said quickly, though he saw the anxiety of the girl before him. "The council didn't want to share much, claiming they were trying to protect their girl, but they did tell me there was a Slayer gone missing." Dean became even more excited at this news. "She goes by the name Faith and unfortunately, she doesn't match your description, at all."
"Another Slayer? What does that mean? I thought you said there was only one," Dean asked, but it was too much for Buffy. Overcome with the possibility of going home, she was speechless. She found it difficult to breathe and looked like she was about to panic. "Buffy?"
"I need some air." She rushed from the house and braced herself against the Impala. After everything he'd done for her, Buffy didn't want to lie to Dean, but she dreaded the thought of going home.
Dean immediately went to follow her, but stopped at the door, deciding to let her cope with everything Bobby had said.
#*#*#*#
However, Dean bringing this girl to his home was nearly too much for Bobby. "Why are you helping her?"
Dean didn't answer right away. Instead he watched Buffy as she rested against the car. "I don't know, Bobby. I have to. Who else is going to? It's like how I had to watch out for Sam, only he doesn't need me anymore. Now, I have to make sure Buffy gets home."
Bobby watched Dean as he spoke about the girl.
Dean gave Buffy a smile when she looked over at him and Bobby had never seen him look like that. The smile disappeared nearly as quickly as it formed the moment she looked away and Bobby saw something like remorse color Dean's features. "I've gotta get her home, Bobby."
"I wish I had more to tell you, but the only hunter I know that had a run in with a slayer is a guy named Cain. The girl put him in his place and he ain't looking to talk about it."
"Thanks anyway, Bobby."
"Sure, kid." Bobby went to clap Dean on the shoulder, but thought better of it. Dean had never been one to get all 'touchy feely' about things, Bobby shouldn't have expected it to be different now, but the young man's face had always been an open book. With one look, Bobby could tell Dean was as close to in love as he ever had been and it broke his heart.
#*#*#*#
Dean could hear her sniffing as he approached, but he had no idea why she would be crying. He would have thought finding out what she was, who she was, would have been good news. "Buffy?"
She wiped her eyes, but didn't look at him.
Dean held her until her crying stopped, until he felt her relax against him. Standing there in the evening sun, Dean wanted nothing more than to keep holding her. Buffy had taken a hold of his heart and he knew he was going to hate letting her go.
Buffy had calmed herself and stepped back. "Thanks," she whispered.
"Hey, no problem. Shirt's old, a few tears aren't going to hurt it." Dean teased hoping to make her smile.
"Now what? Where do we go from here?" Buffy asked
"Well, I was thinking we'd head to Kansas City. From there, we can find out if this Giles person is in Cleveland or California and then, I think we should find your sister, make sure she's okay and knows you're alive."
After a brief, grateful smile, Buffy asked, "You really don't care that I'm a Slayer?"
Dean looked confused. "No, why would I care? Are you going to 'slay' me?"
"No, but, I mean, it does make me kind of a freak."
Dean smiled softly. "Yeah, but you're my freak." He reached for her hand, laced their fingers together, and then brought her hand to his lips for a quick kiss.
Buffy stared at their hands. He really didn't care? Buffy said a silent prayer of thanks to whatever made Dean be the one to find her.
The moment he was alone again, Bobby placed the call he'd been dreading.
"John, it's Bobby. What the hell is going on? Dean was just here."
"What do you mean 'Dean was there'?"
"Dean. He was here at my house with some girl."
"A girl?" John repeated as if that would make it more understandable.
"He said he had to help her find her way home. John, she's a Slayer. What's-"
"A Slayer?" John was quiet for a moment then his temper bled out. "This is your fault, Singer! I know you put those ideas about college in Sammy's head. If it wasn't for you, none of this would have happened. I'd still have Sam and Dean with me -"
"That's right. It's my fault the kid wanted a better life," Bobby argued back. "Fine, I'll take the blame. What are you going to do about Dean?"
"Don't worry about Dean. I'll take care of him."
"John, he might take the girl to California. Maybe he'll go see Sam."
John nodded even though he knew Bobby couldn't see that. "That sounds like something Dean would do. Try to force me to see his brother."
"When did you remember who you were, or, I guess, what you were?" Dean asked. They had left Bobby's and were on their way to Kansas. Once in Kansas City, they'd choose which direction to travel; east to Cleveland or west to Sunnydale. Dean turned down the music and shot Buffy an expectant look.
Worried he'd be angry, Buffy chewed her nail and wondered if he'd leave her on the side of the road.
"Buffy?" Dean recognized her nervous avoidance. "Hey, look, I get that it freaked you out."
"The first night we were in the cabin," she said quickly.
Momentarily stunned, Dean couldn't reply.
"That night I had a dream about my mom." Buffy sighed. It was so long ago, and since then, she and Dean had become so close, she had nearly forgotten her past life.
"I figured you'd think it was just a dream but, I knew it was more. My mom died this past year." Seeing Dean's question before he asked it, Buffy said, "It wasn't a monster or a demon or anything I could fight. She had a brain aneurysm. She just, she was..." Buffy's breath hitched and she couldn't speak.
Dean pulled over. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. That sucks." His hand reached for her shoulder, but Buffy shook him off.
When she had her emotions under control, Buffy continued. "In my dream, she told me my sister was fine, my friends and Giles were fine. She told me not to worry about being the Slayer and that I should just enjoy being with you."
Dean could only stare at her as her revelation washed over him. "So, you had a dream that told you to just blow off your sister, your friends and that watcher guy? And you think that makes it okay to forget about them?" He stared at her, but Buffy wouldn't meet his eyes.
"You were right," she said, her voice hoarse from fighting tears. "I was a Slayer, but I was running from that life when you found me. I don't know how I ended up on that highway, but I remember," she paused, gathering her strength. Her memory wasn't clear, but she remembered Dawn in danger, she remembered having to make a choice to save her sister. "I remember choosing to quit."
"Choosing to quit?"
"I lost track of how many things I killed. I was beginning to think killing was all I was good for. I just couldn't do it anymore." Death is your gift.
Buffy sighed and pulled a hand through her hair. "I mean, why does this have to be our job? Why do we have to save these people?" She swallowed some air and ignored Dean's surprised look. "You heard your friend. There's another Slayer, there's other hunters. Why do we have to sacrifice everything? Don't we deserve a chance to be happy?" Her eyes were brimming with tears when she finished. "I wanted a normal life, Dean."
Dean wanted to pull her to his chest and hold her close, but he didn't have an answer. Her question wrestled with everything his father had ever taught him. The echo of his conversation with Sam stopped Dean from speaking.
How could Buffy desert her family and friends? She had said she loved him, but he wasn't going to be the reason for her leaving her family and her life behind.
Buffy misunderstood his silence to mean that, despite what he said, Dean was angry with her. "You're mad, aren't you?" Buffy asked, shifting away from him.
"No," He said quietly. After several minutes Dean spoke up, "I just don't get it. What do you mean you 'chose to quit'? Most people in our line of work just don't quit. We..."
"Why can't we quit?" Buffy asked quietly. "We either quit or we die doing the job."
After a while, the awkward silence had become too much to bear, and she mumbled, "I think I'm from California."
Dean did a double take, astounded she had been keeping that from him as well.
"In my dream, my mom and I were walking along a beach," Buffy explained.
He sighed. "Maybe that was only a dream."
Buffy shrugged. "You don't have to take me anywhere, Dean. You've done more than enough. I can even get out here if you want."
Hurt that she'd make such a suggestion, Dean barked at her. "Don't be stupid, Buffy. I'm not going to abandon you in the middle of nowhere." He raked his fingers through his hair. "Do you remember anything else? Your last name, your sister's name, anything?"
Buffy shook her head, his tone made her voice quiet. "I don't remember my last name, but I'm pretty sure my sister's name is Dawn."
"Okay," Dean said after a minute of thinking. "Well, let's stick with the plan. Once we're in KC we'll make some calls, see if we can find this Giles guy."
In the morning, Dean placed several calls and learned a Rupert Giles had lived in Sunnydale and had once been the high school librarian. However, the high school was no longer there and Mr. Giles' phone had been disconnected.
"Well, you were right. California is looking like your home. Do you remember anything else? Anything about your sister, your family?"
Buffy shook her head. "Are you really going to take me all the way to Sunnydale?"
"Of course." Dean looked at her like she was crazy for even asking. "It's a frickin' hell-mouth. I'm not leaving you to face that on your own." Wanting to make her smile again, Dean teased, "And you probably have some hot friends that will want to thank me for bringing you home."
Buffy huffed in surprise. "You're going to try to get with my friends?"
"Yeah and you, too. I'm picturing a huge 'Let's thank Dean for bringing Buffy home' party. And if your friends insist on thanking me with sexual favors, who am I to refuse?"
Buffy's mouth fell open. "You-" Dean flashed her a megawatt grin. "You're impossible."
Dean laughed and spanked her playfully. "Come on, woman! We've got a long ass drive ahead of us."
#*#*#*#
As Dean packed the car, his mind was consumed with the thought that Sunnydale was a three day trip. Three more days with Buffy. If he played his cards right, he could stretch it to four maybe even five.
Of course there still was her whole 'choosing to quit' thing to deal with. Dean didn't know what to make of that. Did she think that by taking her home, he was forcing her to be a Slayer again? Didn't she understand that he wanted her to see her family? That she needed to know they were okay as much as they needed to know she was still alive?
After weeks of intensive detective work, John Winchester was no closer to finding his son than the day Dean 'disappeared'. To say he was terrified would be like saying the sky was blue. He knew he only had a slim window of opportunity to save Dean and there was nothing on earth that was going to stop him.
The psychic, Missouri Mosley, became his only hope. If she was unwilling to help him, John would beg and plead until she changed her mind.
John knew he didn't have many friends. The ones he had, he often mistreated leaving them very hesitant to see him again. As he stood on the walk before this woman's house, John wondered if she would still be willing to help him or if she was another burned bridge.
Missouri opened her door. "John Winchester, you gonna stand out there all day? You're frightening the neighborhood children with all your scowling."
John nearly smiled at the woman. "Hey Missouri, I wasn't sure if you would see me."
The woman gave him a warm smile. "Come inside and tell me what's bothering you."
Missouri led John into her living room, then left to fix them some tea.
"Missouri, I need your help. It's my -"
"Drink your tea, John, then we'll talk."
"But -" Missouri silenced him with a stern look.
When he had finished, she took his cup and read the leaves. "It's about time you came to me! Don't you think that boy of yours has been through enough?"
John had to take a minute to catch up to Missouri's train of thought. "Yeah, Missouri, that's why I'm here. He needs your help."
"I know he does," the woman nodded. "And I'll do what I can, John. I just don't know if it will be enough." She rose from her seat and did a quick survey of her room. "I'll be ready to leave in ten minutes. Tell me, do you know where he is?"
"Not exactly."
"You don't know where he is?" she asked finding his answer of 'not exactly' not acceptable.
John got out a map. "He's somewhere between here and there," he said pointing at a location in Alabama and another in Utah.
The psychic gave him a disapproving look. "You may as well say he's in the U.S." She studied the map for a minute, and then turned to John. "You got something of his? Something I can hold on to?"
John nodded. "I'll be right back."
Four days later, Buffy and Dean were in beautiful northern California. Dean had found them a truck stop/ diner/ motel complex in which to stay and hoped Buffy didn't mind the extra day.
Buffy wasn't eager to get home; her memories were beginning to return the closer they got to Sunnydale, but none of them made her want to return. Dean had spent the last few days spoiling her in every possible way, making it nearly impossible for her to want to go home.
#*#*#*#
In the morning, Buffy looked at her food and fought the rising nausea. She took a sip of her juice and wiped at her forehead. Dean looked across the table and instantly became worried when he saw Buffy's appearance. "Babe? You okay?"
Buffy looked at him but was unable to focus. "No." She took another drink of juice and the urge to vomit returned. "Oh god, Dean. I think I'm gonna be sick." She rushed from the booth.
Leaving the bathroom, Buffy found Dean waiting for her. "Feeling better?"
"A little," Buffy answered with a shrug.
Dean wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. "You want to go back to the room?" Buffy nodded. "Okay, I'll go pay. You wait here."
Buffy looked passed Dean to the little convenience store attached to the restaurant. "Actually, I'm gonna go buy some Pepto, and maybe some crackers, and then I'll meet you at the room."
#*#*#*#
Before entering the store, a large map caught Buffy's eye. She took a minute to study it and find their current location. Then, she traced their path with her finger. Not exactly the most direct route, she thought to herself. I wonder why Dean is going so far out of the way to get to Sunnydale.
Buffy purposefully made her way through the small shop. Unable to find crackers, she chose a bag of chips, and then headed for the aisle with the medicine. After grabbing the Pepto, something else caught her eye and she froze. Before she could talk herself out of it, she added it to her purchases.
Back in the room, Buffy camped out in the bathroom. After downing the Pepto, she read the directions on the box again. She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked pale and sweaty, her eyes had dark circles under them - she looked as bad as she felt. Her misery was interrupted by a soft tap on the door. "Buffy, are you alright?"
Taking a fortifying breath, she answered, "Yeah, I'll be right out."
She wet a cloth with cold water, held it to her face, and reminded herself to breathe. Then, she read the results of the pregnancy test. There, clear as day, a plus sign. She smiled weakly at her reflection and wondered how she was going to tell Dean.
Dean nearly jumped off the bed when Buffy exited the bathroom. Without hiding his concern, he led her to the bed. "Are you feeling better?" Without letting her answer, he continued, "Do you need to see a doctor?" Once he had her sitting on the bed he asked, "Can I get you anything?"
"I just need to sit for a minute."
Dean put his arm around her. "It's probably all that crappy diner food catching up with you." He gently rubbed her back until she rested her head on his shoulder. "You want me to call the front desk so we can keep the room longer? Do you think you'll be sick for a while?"
Buffy pulled away from him, smiling weakly. "Dean, I'm gonna be fine." She saw that he was not remotely reassured, so, she decided to change the subject. "But there is something I was wondering about. Why are we taking the scenic route to Sunnydale?"
Dean's eyes betrayed his panic for a moment, before he schooled his features to their standard carefree facade. "When's the next time you're going to get to see this part of the country?"
Buffy had been with him long enough to recognize his bullshit face and with a quirk of her brow, she challenged him.
Dean shook his head and gave her a small smile. He had only recently admitted to himself how badly he wanted her, seemed impossible to admit it to her, especially because he knew he couldn't have her. He left his seat on the bed and leaned against the dresser with his arms across his chest. "So you want a more direct route?"
"No, I want to know what's going on. Why are you acting like when we get to Sunnydale, it's over, we're over?"
"Sorry, I didn't think I was acting like anything." As his insides twisted, Dean tried to hide the pain he felt. Because I'm not getting my hopes up, because I know better, because you'll never choose me over your family. He looked away so she wouldn't be able to read him. The wall he always hid behind was so close to collapse it frightened him and now was not the time to let it crumble.
Taking a breath, he added, "Got your stuff together? We'll have to back track a bit, but I can get us to the expressway and we can hit Sunnydale by nightfall."
"Is that what you want?" she countered, hoping he didn't hear the tremor in her voice.
"I just want you to be happy, Buffy. What I want doesn't matter."
"Do you honestly think I'll be happy if you leave me in Sunnydale and we never see each other again?" she asked.
Dean swallowed over the lump in his throat. His mouth moved but he couldn't speak, he could only stare at her in shock. After Buffy grabbed a bag, he finally spoke. "I'm trying to be realistic here, Buffy. You'll be back with your family, your friends, your life. You won't need me. I don't belong there."
Buffy shook her head and sighed resignedly. Why was he doing this? Her frustration rolled off her into her words. "Then let's just rip off the Band-Aid, Dean. You don't have to take me any farther. I'll catch a bus or something."
He knew he was losing her. She'd either leave right now or she'd be out of his life tomorrow.
"You asked what I wanted," he continued softly, then huffed a nervous laugh. "What I want is for you to choose me, Buffy, to choose staying with me. If you want 'the white picket fence, two kids, and a dog' kind of normal life, then I want you to want that with me." He stared at her a minute, shocked he had admitted that to her. "But I'm not a fool, Buffy, I know that's not going to happen. You've got a life you've got to get back to."
Buffy's lip trembled and Dean knew he made a mess of things. He should have stayed quiet. No matter what she said, Buffy was out of his life. Then, taking a tight, pained breath, he pulled his keys from his pocket and started the reconstruction of that wall around his heart.
"I'm sorry. I guess I didn't think about how you'd feel about taking the long way. We'll take the other route," he said quietly, once she didn't reply. "I'll wait for you in the car, if you still want me to drive you."
"How can you make me so happy and break my heart at the same time?" Her voice cracked and she sniffed back tears. "Dean, I love you. I want you. I choose you. I don't need to go back to Sunnydale; not if it means losing you."
Dean was sure she couldn't mean what she was saying, but he was willing to play along for the moment. "Buffy, you have to go to Sunnydale. What about the girl you think is your sister?"
Buffy nodded slowly. "I'll meet with my sister. But you and me, you and me are going to stay together. I don't care what is waiting for me in Sunnydale."
"You sure?" He so desperately wanted to believe.
"Do you love me?" Buffy was equally as desperate, equally as ruined.
"Buffy, I've been in love with you for months." The words were out before he could stop them, and he instantly regretted it. Losing her was going to be that much more painful now.
Relief washed over Buffy and she expressed it by rushing to Dean's arms and kissing him as if the world would end if she didn't. The kiss started as needy and desperate, but as Dean responded it became the soothing balm they both needed.
#*#*#*#
Unfortunately, the roller coaster of emotions caused the return of Buffy's nausea. She covered her mouth and bee-lined to the bathroom.
When she recovered, she faced a very concerned Dean. "Are you sure you don't need a doctor?" He smoothed a hand across her forehead.
"I think I'm gonna be sick for a while. And yes, I am going to need a doctor." She crossed to the bed and sat down. She could see the worry in Dean's face. Taking a deep breath she said, "Dean, I'm pregnant."
"Pregnant?" Dean asked, pleasantly shocked at the idea, before he immediately reined in his feelings. "Um, okay," he looked away from her eyes. "Well, whatever you decide you want to do, I'll, um, support your decision."
Buffy had seen that first look of happiness that crossed his face. She smiled and curled up on the bed. "Good, because Dean junior and I want to rest before we keep driving."
Dean swallowed and took a moment to let the news wash over him. "Dean junior, huh? How do you know we're not having a Buffy junior?" he asked with a tender look on his face that made Buffy's heart warm.
Buffy rested a hand low on her stomach. "That's easy. Just like with his father, I've only known him a minute but I'm already in love with him. And just like his father, he's turning my life upside down."
Dean smiled softly at her. He finally felt like he understood everything. Like the whole world had decided to let him in on the secret it had been keeping. "God I love you."
"I know. We love you, too." Buffy closed her eyes. "We don't have to go to Sunnydale if you don't want to. I've got my family right here."
"What about your sister?"
"Fine, we'll go see my sister," Buffy sighed happily, "but then we're going to go see Sam, too."
Dean bent down and kissed her forehead. "Sleep. I'll go to the front desk and get us the room for another night."
"Come right back."
"I will."
#*#*#*#
Making his way to the office, Dean looked up at the darkening sky. A storm was coming; driving would have been a bitch. Then he found himself smiling thinking how did I get so lucky? Could she really love him? Could she really want to be with him?
When he returned to the room, Dean wanted to crawl into bed with Buffy, hold her and never let go. Instead, he had a small panic attack. A baby. They were going to have a baby. How the hell was he supposed to take care of a baby?
He ran a hand over his head and began to pace.
He didn't have a job or a place to live. It's not like Buffy and the baby could live out of the car with him, traveling from one dive motel to another. Sure, he had to do it as a kid, but Buffy deserved better than that. At least, his dad had them stay - shit - his dad. What was he going to tell his dad? The man was going to kill him. Getting a girl pregnant was one of the dumbest things a guy like Dean could do. He could practically hear his father's speech. And then Sam would ... Dean paused. Sam would be frickin' thrilled. Dean grinned as he pictured the smile on his kid brother's face.
As if thinking about Sam calmed his nerves, Dean realized the baby wasn't coming tomorrow. He would have time to get his life together, to find a place for him and Buffy and the baby. He could get a job, he'd probably hate it, but he could do it. He'd get a job and take care of his family. He looked at Buffy. His family. He was going to have a family and a home. He shook his head in disbelief at the very thought. Yeah, his dad would be angry with him until the man met Buffy. Buffy would charm the socks of his dad, Dean was certain of it.
Rain had begun to fall and it was lightly hitting their window. He crawled into bed, curled around Buffy and whispered, "Love you."
Buffy smiled and nestled into the warmth of his arms. She rolled over to face him and placed a small kiss on his lips. Then, she began to trail small kisses down his jaw to his neck then she kissed his chest. Her hand drifted down his chest and under the waistband of his boxers.
Taken by surprise, Dean sucked in a breath, making Buffy giggle against his chest as her hand wrapped around him. "Hey, you're already knocked up. What are you trying to do?" he teased.
Buffy's hand stopped and she gave Dean a stern look. "Okay. We will NOT be referring to me as 'knocked up'. Not ever." Her hand began to slowly stroke him.
Dean chuckled even though she was beginning to drive him wild. "Okay."
"'Glowing', 'with child', these are acceptable," she said between kisses to his chest. "'Pregnant' when we're being technical." She stroked him faster causing his breath to hitch.
"'Preggers'?" Dean asked, pretending her hand was having no effect on him.
"Nah, let's save that one for celebrities." She kept her hand moving, but she propped herself up on her other elbow.
Dean was looking at her with such adoration Buffy's heart began to race. As she leaned down to kiss him, Dean brought his hands up to frame her face. "Feeling better?"
"Much."
Dean carefully removed her hand from his boxer briefs and pulled her against him. They continued to kiss as they removed their remaining clothes. Dean rolled her onto her back and settled between her legs. He kissed her neck as her fingers combed through his hair. "I want to spend every rainy day like this," she murmured when he finally entered her.
Dean held still, relishing the heat surrounding him. "Me, too." The soft look in his eyes was all Buffy needed.
As if she could read his mind and know what he was feeling she whispered, "I love you."
His kiss was long and sweet, making her feel light headed and boneless. Her hands whispered their way along the smooth muscle of his back, causing him to shiver slightly and grin into their kiss. "I love you, too."
They made love all afternoon, barely aware of the storm raging outside.
It was dark when Buffy woke. Too dark, she realized. She tried to sit up, but bumped her head and found she could barely move. "Dean?" she called in a slight panic, but she got no response. She reached for him, but found a wall of cushioned satin surrounded her on all sides. She pounded on the wall above her. "Dean!" she screamed as loud as she could. "Help! Help me! Someone help me!"
When John returned, he carried a cloth wrapped item from the strong box on the back of his truck. He gingerly handed it to Missouri like it was an ancient, sacred artifact. "He made that with Mary."
Missouri unwrapped a tiny plaster hand print with "DEAN" inscribed just below it. Missouri's eyes teared up as she carefully ran her fingers over the treasured item. After a minute, she closed her eyes in concentration.
"Oh, John, that poor boy is being torn in two directions."
"But he's alive?"
"Yes, John, he's alive. But his spirit is ready to move on." She opened her eyes, prepared to give John her condolences when she was struck with a fresh vision. "No, John, I'm wrong." She moved to sit down. "His spirit isn't ready to move on. His spirit doesn't know what's happened. It's lost, it's wandering like it's looking for a home."
Again she closed her eyes in concentration. This time she began to trace a pattern on the map. "There," she said at last, pointing to the Texas panhandle. "His body is there. We will have to go to him and call his spirit back."
<--- Master Post Chapter 7 -->