The Trouble with the Weekly World News
Title: The Trouble with the Weekly World News
Author: Noturbaby
Fandom(s): Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Characters/Pairings: Buffy, Xander, Robin Wood, OCs
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1300
Warnings: nope
Summary: Buffy deals with demons in a high school, where have I seen that before? However, now she’s making the news. Based on a challenge at : Tabloid_BtVS
Author Notes: wrote a fic and a Weekly World News article based on the fic. Beta’d by subtlefire. She Rocks!!!!
Robin Wood and Xander Harris exchanged worried, tired expressions. Neither of them wanted to make the trip, but the signs pointed to demonic activity at a school in Castle Rock, Washington. If it wasn’t stopped in time, another Hellmouth might be opened.
After a quick game of rock-paper-scissors to determine who stayed home and who made the trip, Buffy Summers and Xander Harris packed the car and hit the road. Within two days, they arrived at Castle Rock High School.
“Good morning, staff and students,” Principal Morris began his address to the gathered assembly. “I’d like to introduce you to Ms. Summers. She comes to us from California, where she served as a guidance counselor for Sunnydale High School. The city council is providing Ms. Summers’ services as a benefit to our school, to help us cope with the loss of Mr. Rodgers and the disappearance of Ms. Quincy.” Murmurs were heard from the gathered audience. “Her office is located in the former conference room. If any of you feel the need to speak to her, she is available to everyone from 7:00 a.m. until 3:00 p.m., daily.”
By the end of her second day, Buffy had the football team in her sights. “How are you going to do this?” Xander asked.
Buffy pulled her hair into a ponytail. “They’re not too bright. Tonight’s the full moon, which means the sacrifice has to take place tonight or this creepy crawly demon can’t rise.”
Xander just raised a brow while he waited for her to continue. “So, we are going to follow the quarterback, this Jason kid, to wherever it is they are performing this ritual, and kick some football player ass.” She smirked at Xander. “You will then help get the others out of there.”
“Sounds like a plan. I like it,” Xander said with a quick nod.
Stepping over a fallen football player, Buffy asked, “How many times do I have to tell you? No - raising - demons!” Buffy swung at the next boy who guarded the pit containing the demon. As her fist connected with his stomach, he doubled over, only to meet her knee with his face.
Having dispatched three of the five linemen, Buffy and Xander faced only the quarterback and the center. “Aren’t you the new guidance counselor?” the quarterback inquired as he moved steadily away from her.
Buffy dusted off her hands. “That’s right. Now, let me guide you out of this mess before you idiots actually raise that thing.”
The largest of the boys, the center, pushed the others out of the way to get to her. His eyes began to glow white and his voice dropped several octaves. “Slayer, you will be a most satisfying tribute to my dark master.”
Buffy rolled her eyes. “I don’t do tributes.”
While Buffy battled the now possessed center, Xander quickly restrained the others. The quarterback essentially surrendered in order to protect his good looks.
Buffy restrained the center and placed a talisman on his chest. While it glowed, a cloud of thick grey smoke erupted from his mouth and flowed into the pit behind them. When she tossed the talisman into the pit, it sealed itself.
Buffy and Xander exchanged satisfied grins as they led the survivors from the school basement. Unfortunately for them, one of the survivors had called 9-1-1 the moment her cell regained service, and waiting for them outside the school were police and reporters. Xander arranged to get emergency care for the injured Ms. Quincy and used it as an opportunity to get Buffy away from the scene. When he was finally able to get free, he joined her. “Tell me, Buff, why is it always the jocks that do dumb stuff like this?”
Buffy’s face wrinkled in thought. “It’s not. Remember Jonathan and Andrew? Or that Eric kid? They weren’t exactly star athletes.”
Xander nodded. “Good point. Maybe it’s just high school that makes kids do the wacky demon stuff.” He shuddered. “Just thinking about high school gives me the wiggins.”
Buffy laughed, “I hear ya.” Then her face became worried. “I think that reporter was there. He may have even got a picture.” She saw Xander’s concerned expression. “I turned away, I don’t think he got a good one.”
Xander sighed, “I better call the others. Let’s pack up and get out of here by morning.”
Evil Spirits Spread
Terror in Schools
Castle Rock, WA --- Castle Rock may seem like a typical quiet town, but the recent events at the local high school prove it’s anything but typical.
Staff and students alike found it odd when their football team started winning last fall. After all, they were smaller than most teams and hadn’t won that often in the school’s history. Neither staff, student, nor alumni were about to complain.
However, when five members of the team suddenly began to ‘ace’ classes, some staff and a few students became suspicious of their newfound scholastic abilities. After winning the state championship for the first time in the school’s history, the only teacher they had in common - who was also the first to question their sudden changes in ability - went missing Suddenly, those suspicions seemed justified.
Olin Rodgers was found dead in the school’s basement. His body, ritualistically disfigured, was left on display over a series of strange drawings, black candles, and a brass bowl that was covered in Satanic markings.
When a second staff member and a few honor students disappeared, the town leaders became concerned.
All of that changed with the arrival of the new guidance counselor.
This paper has previously documented the achievements of this person posing as a guidance counselor, so it should come as no surprise to our readers to learn of her involvement in this case. Once again, a woman named Summers has prevented the rise of Satan.
According to school records, Ms. Summers arrived at the school shortly after the grisly discovery of Mr. Rodgers’ body. She quickly became a favorite member of the staff for both faculty and students. As with previous accounts of her accomplishments in the fight against evil, Ms. Summers quickly determined the guilty party and brought swift justice.
Eyewitness accounts vary; however, one point does stand out: Ms. Summers saved the lives of the students at Castle Rock High. One girl, who asked for anonymity, told this reporter that Ms. Summers pulled her and her best friend from a “cage-like thing” the suspects had constructed in the school basement.
Ms. Summers had discovered the identities of the alleged Satan worshippers, and followed them to the altar they prepared in the bowels of the high school. The other eyewitness said that the counselor took it upon herself to battle the entire offensive line of the school’s football team, including one boy the others claimed was possessed, in order to prevent the sacrifice of the missing staff member and several students.
By the time the authorities had arrived, the immediate danger was over and Ms. Summers was nowhere to be seen.
This is not the first time Ms. Summers has been on the scene of a supernatural occurrence. This paper has been following her activities since it was documented that she was instrumental in the destruction of Sunnydale High School in 1999. Her involvement with a paramilitary group at UC-Sunnydale was also under investigation, until the university sank with the rest of Sunnydale. Unnamed sources confirm that Ms. Summers was present when Sunnydale sank into the earth.
Although it cannot be confirmed, it is this reporter’s belief that Ms. Summers is a supernatural being in her own right. However, she is not an evil entity; she appears when the circumstances are too dire for mere mortals to defeat. It should give the world hope to know that Ms. Summers is out there, ready to defeat the forces of evil whenever and wherever they may strike.
Cover art found here
