digging herself a nice little hole to curl up and die in.
so yeah.
perhaps im just being too hard on myself.. but im a fucking stupid nut head.
all i do is get myself into stupid little situations that leave me feeling lonely and sorry for myself.
i mean, ive been having a rad time hanging out with my new found girl friends from class and all, but they all have boyfriends, so im constantly the third wheel, or fifth wheel..or as i like to dub myself "the spare tire"
and frankly, i suck at dating, i guess.
i mean, i get hit on tones..but mostly by guys that im not interested in. and the ones that i am interested in...well, i clam up like a stupid tounge tied bimbo idiot and well...blow it.
i meet a guy and i begin to feel the hint of butterflies, and before i know it, im set straight and all the butterflies in my tummy commit suicide.
i feel like banging my head againt a wall. hard.
on one hand i was having fun dating around, getting attention and all that.. i mean, who wouldnt.. but why is it when i come across a guy that i want to actually see where thigns go with...things seem to..stop dead. go nowhere.
i hate hate hate hate this feeling. i hate feeling so stinking vulnerable. it makes me feel like im 4 years old again.
how do i turn this feeling off?
i need to think and act and feel more like a guy would.
perhaps im just being too hard on myself.. but im a fucking stupid nut head.
all i do is get myself into stupid little situations that leave me feeling lonely and sorry for myself.
i mean, ive been having a rad time hanging out with my new found girl friends from class and all, but they all have boyfriends, so im constantly the third wheel, or fifth wheel..or as i like to dub myself "the spare tire"
and frankly, i suck at dating, i guess.
i mean, i get hit on tones..but mostly by guys that im not interested in. and the ones that i am interested in...well, i clam up like a stupid tounge tied bimbo idiot and well...blow it.
i meet a guy and i begin to feel the hint of butterflies, and before i know it, im set straight and all the butterflies in my tummy commit suicide.
i feel like banging my head againt a wall. hard.
on one hand i was having fun dating around, getting attention and all that.. i mean, who wouldnt.. but why is it when i come across a guy that i want to actually see where thigns go with...things seem to..stop dead. go nowhere.
i hate hate hate hate this feeling. i hate feeling so stinking vulnerable. it makes me feel like im 4 years old again.
how do i turn this feeling off?
i need to think and act and feel more like a guy would.