I Don't Wanna Hurt You, I Wanna Kiss You
Title: I Don't Wanna Hurt You, I Wanna Kiss You
Pairing: Travis McCoy/Brendon Urie, vaguely
Summary: Travis turns into a helicopter. WHAT WILL TURN HIM BACK???
Notes: bluejbird and I were talking about how there should be a story where Travie is a helicopter pilot, and she made the mistake of saying "helicopter Travie" without the pilot. Warning for the maiming of beloved characters and, obviously, dumb things happening that don't make any sense. TITLE COMES FROM A JONAS BROS. SONG.
One day Travis wakes up and he's outside. He's not too surprised, because he's definitely woken up outside before, recently even. He can't remember doing anything last night that would've caused him to pass out outside, but here he is.
He tries to get up to go back inside. Matt is up there sleeping on his couch, probably surrounded by snack debris and empty bottles. He better not have tried on any of Travis' shoes or Travis is going to break his arms. Maybe this is Matt's doing. Travis thought again of what could've happened last night. All he remembers is that he was lying in his bed alone and he really wanted to spoon someone, but Matt was all the way in the living room.
When Travis moves his arms, he notices the grass around him being pushed down as if by a huge wind. He's also hovering a few feet off the ground.
It's about that time Travis realizes he's a helicopter.
~*~
Travis needs to tell Matt. If Matt did this, maybe he can help. Travis flies up higher, feeling like his arms are moving in circles, windmill style, but he has propellers now. He hovers near the window to his apartment.
"Hey!" Travis yells. His voice sounds somewhat crackly, like he's speaking through a megaphone. He can't speak softly at all, so he hopes he doesn't wake up the entire building. "Hey Matty!"
The window opens and Matt pokes his head out.
"What the hell?" Matt says. "Did you buy a helicopter?"
"No," Travis yells. "I am --"
"Where are we gonna keep this thing?"
Travis thinks about it. What if he's stuck as a helicopter forever? Where would they keep him? Is there a home for helicopters? He hopes his friends visit.
"Matt," Travis yells, "I am the helicopter."
"What?" Matt says, waving Travis forward. "Here, come closer, I can't hear you over the propellers."
Travis can't see the harm in picking Matt up. He's carried Matt around before. He hovers closer to the window with the passenger side of his body facing the building so Matt can climb in. Then he hears a scream.
One of Matt's arms is suddenly missing. He's clutching at the bloody stump where his arm should be, looking between that and the ground below, like he can spot his arm.
"Uh," Matt says. His eyes are gigantic and shocked. "You cut off my arm."
"Shit, shit, fuck," Travis yells. "Sorry! I'm sorry."
"You cut off my arm!" Matt says again, only more hysterically.
"I know! I said I was sorry, Jesus!" Travis wants to beat his head against the building, but he'd probably crash right through it. "Go downstairs and I'll pick you up down there!"
Matt grabs a shirt off the floor and wraps his bloody stump. He goes downstairs, grabs the rest of his arm, and gets inside Travis.
"Where the hell did he go," Matt says.
"I'm right here," Travis yells. Matt screams again.
"Are you invisible?"
"No, goddamn it, I'm a fucking helicopter," Travis yells as he takes off. "I'm gonna get some help and then get your arm fixed. They can reattach arms, right? They do it with fingers all the time."
"Uh," Matt says. "Sure."
"Okay then," Travis yells, and he flies off to get help.
~*~
"Travie," Gabe says. Travis' propellers are still turning slowly from flying and then landing, and Gabe is jumping up and down through them. "This shit is awesome."
"Stop it," Travis yells. "You're gonna get your head chopped off." He went to Gabe because Gabe is crazy and might know some things. If not Gabe, then Suarez would, at the very least. Suarez definitely knows some things.
Gabe doesn't stop it and he does get his head chopped off. Just the very top of his skull, like that guy in Hannibal, but still. Travis thanks God nobody he knows is a cannibal. That he knows of.
"Victoria!" Gabe yells. Victoria comes out of Gabe's place and makes a disgusted face when she sees Gabe's head. Travis has seen that face before even though Gabe's skull has never been cut open before. "Look at this! My brain is exposed!"
"That's nice, Gabe," Victoria says.
"Come here and touch it!"
"No, that's gross."
"Come on," Gabe leans over and shoves his exposed brain right in Victoria's face. She squeals and pushes him away.
"Get your ass in here," Travis yells. He tries to sigh but it just makes his propellers whir faster as Gabe gets inside him and they fly someplace else.
~*~
"How could you do this to me?" William says. When Travis landed, William stepped right up to him, as he always does, but had the common sense to not jump up and down. Travis only chopped off some of his hair.
"Bill, I'm sorry," Travis yells. "Look, are you hurt?"
"My gorgeous, flowing locks," William moans. He bends down to pick his locks off the ground and pets them sadly.
"Get in and I'll take you to a salon," Travis yells. He has chopped off somebody's arm and now somebody else's head. He's over this. He's really glad he didn't slice off anything important of Bill's.
William climbs inside Travis and runs his fingers through his now shorter hair. "Hey now," William says. "It actually feels a lot better. Gabe, feel my hair. Matt, feel this."
Matt touches it with his attached arm and nods approvingly. Gabe reaches over and feels William's hair. "Very soft," he says. "Feel my brain. It feels like butter."
"No," William says. "Thanks, Travie!"
"Sure thing, Bill," Travis yells.
~*~
"Pete, man, this sucks," Travis yells. He is tired of yelling. He misses whispering, and having legs, and being able to touch someone without harming them horrifically or giving them a haircut.
"I know," Pete says. He had everyone shipped off the the hospital to have their body parts reattached and then got into Travis and told him to go to some building. He was pretty upset after Travis flew in at Pete's at a strange angle and ended up slicing off one of Patrick's legs, even though he also thinks it's funny that Stump is walking, or not walking around with a stump. They're sitting on the roof now, Pete sitting in Travis' pilot seat, Travis sitting directly on the roof since he's still a helicopter. "Maybe we can build you a stable."
Travis whirs sadly. "I don't want to be a helicopter forever."
"Want me to touch your joystick?" Pete says. He wraps his fist around Travis' stick and jerks it up and down.
Travis hovers off the ground for a minute but then settles back down. "Nah, I think I'm gonna go for a fly."
"Sounds good," Pete says, climbing down out of Travis. He lifts his hand up as if to give Travis a high-five and loses the tips of a few fingers for his efforts.
"Fuck," Pete says. "Can you take me to the hospital first?"
~*~
Travis goes back the Pete's miscellaneous building when he's done flying around. Flying was somewhat relaxing, but he's still anxious to be in his own body again. He hit a bird when he was out, and it was like the first time he accidentally ran over a cat all over again. The sunrise was beautiful, though. He wonders if a helicopter soul is walking around inside his body, or if his own body has just been transformed into a helicopter.
Travis hears someone open the door to the roof and walk over to him. He'd turn around to look, but he'd probably end up castrating someone or something, so he just stays still and waits for whoever it is to come to him.
"Well, if it isn't little Brendon Urie," Travis yells. Brendon has a huge shopping bag full of stuff and a folded up blanket in his arms.
"Hey Travie," Brendon yells back.
"You don't have to yell!"
"I want to!" Brendon sets down his shopping bag and goes through it. He pulls out huge sheets of foam and a roll of duct tape.
"I think this'll help," Brendon explains by yelling. He starts to walk towards Travis and it makes Travis nervous, and his propellers start up. He really can't handle dismembering anyone else.
"Shhhh," Brendon yells. Spit flies out from between his teeth, because it's hard to shush someone that loudly. "It's okay."
Travis calms down and thinks of being a person and his arms around someone again. Brendon gets to work wrapping the foam padding stuff around the propellers. He slices his thumb open, and Travis wants to tell him to leave. Brendon just sucks on his cut for a second and then gets back to it. Before he knows it, Travis has foam sock things taped to all of his propellers.
Brendon runs his hands over one of them and then leans down to kiss it. "See?" He yells, pointing at his unharmed lips. "All better!"
Travis passes out and when he wakes up, he is suddenly a person again. He stands and stretches, and it feels good to be in his own body. He's naked on some roof in the middle of the day, but he's naked in his own body.
"Here," Brendon says. He stands on his toes and wraps the blanket he brought with him around Travis' shoulders.
"Thanks," Travis says. He thinks it's really nice to talk at a normal volume once again. "Guess I just needed some TLC."
Travis puts his arm around Brendon's shoulders. Brendon lifts his hand and pats Travis's hand on his shoulder. Travis lifts Brendon's hand to his mouth and presses a kiss to the cut on his thumb.
"All better," Travis whispers, because he can whisper now.
Brendon smiles up at him, and Travis has been in the body of a helicopter, has been in the sky higher than the sun and watched it rise up to meet him, but the light in Brendon's face when he smiles is something else.
"Hey, wanna go spoon?" Travis says.
Brendon slides his arm around Travis's naked waist and says, "Sure."
~*~THE END~*~
Okay now someone write a story where Travie is a helicopter pilot. :((((( SPECIFICALLY ONE WHERE HE RESCUES PANIC AT THE DISCO FROM AN AVALANCHE IN THE MOUNTAINS AND THEN HE BONES BRENDON, AM I RIGHT.
Pairing: Travis McCoy/Brendon Urie, vaguely
Summary: Travis turns into a helicopter. WHAT WILL TURN HIM BACK???
Notes: bluejbird and I were talking about how there should be a story where Travie is a helicopter pilot, and she made the mistake of saying "helicopter Travie" without the pilot. Warning for the maiming of beloved characters and, obviously, dumb things happening that don't make any sense. TITLE COMES FROM A JONAS BROS. SONG.
One day Travis wakes up and he's outside. He's not too surprised, because he's definitely woken up outside before, recently even. He can't remember doing anything last night that would've caused him to pass out outside, but here he is.
He tries to get up to go back inside. Matt is up there sleeping on his couch, probably surrounded by snack debris and empty bottles. He better not have tried on any of Travis' shoes or Travis is going to break his arms. Maybe this is Matt's doing. Travis thought again of what could've happened last night. All he remembers is that he was lying in his bed alone and he really wanted to spoon someone, but Matt was all the way in the living room.
When Travis moves his arms, he notices the grass around him being pushed down as if by a huge wind. He's also hovering a few feet off the ground.
It's about that time Travis realizes he's a helicopter.
~*~
Travis needs to tell Matt. If Matt did this, maybe he can help. Travis flies up higher, feeling like his arms are moving in circles, windmill style, but he has propellers now. He hovers near the window to his apartment.
"Hey!" Travis yells. His voice sounds somewhat crackly, like he's speaking through a megaphone. He can't speak softly at all, so he hopes he doesn't wake up the entire building. "Hey Matty!"
The window opens and Matt pokes his head out.
"What the hell?" Matt says. "Did you buy a helicopter?"
"No," Travis yells. "I am --"
"Where are we gonna keep this thing?"
Travis thinks about it. What if he's stuck as a helicopter forever? Where would they keep him? Is there a home for helicopters? He hopes his friends visit.
"Matt," Travis yells, "I am the helicopter."
"What?" Matt says, waving Travis forward. "Here, come closer, I can't hear you over the propellers."
Travis can't see the harm in picking Matt up. He's carried Matt around before. He hovers closer to the window with the passenger side of his body facing the building so Matt can climb in. Then he hears a scream.
One of Matt's arms is suddenly missing. He's clutching at the bloody stump where his arm should be, looking between that and the ground below, like he can spot his arm.
"Uh," Matt says. His eyes are gigantic and shocked. "You cut off my arm."
"Shit, shit, fuck," Travis yells. "Sorry! I'm sorry."
"You cut off my arm!" Matt says again, only more hysterically.
"I know! I said I was sorry, Jesus!" Travis wants to beat his head against the building, but he'd probably crash right through it. "Go downstairs and I'll pick you up down there!"
Matt grabs a shirt off the floor and wraps his bloody stump. He goes downstairs, grabs the rest of his arm, and gets inside Travis.
"Where the hell did he go," Matt says.
"I'm right here," Travis yells. Matt screams again.
"Are you invisible?"
"No, goddamn it, I'm a fucking helicopter," Travis yells as he takes off. "I'm gonna get some help and then get your arm fixed. They can reattach arms, right? They do it with fingers all the time."
"Uh," Matt says. "Sure."
"Okay then," Travis yells, and he flies off to get help.
~*~
"Travie," Gabe says. Travis' propellers are still turning slowly from flying and then landing, and Gabe is jumping up and down through them. "This shit is awesome."
"Stop it," Travis yells. "You're gonna get your head chopped off." He went to Gabe because Gabe is crazy and might know some things. If not Gabe, then Suarez would, at the very least. Suarez definitely knows some things.
Gabe doesn't stop it and he does get his head chopped off. Just the very top of his skull, like that guy in Hannibal, but still. Travis thanks God nobody he knows is a cannibal. That he knows of.
"Victoria!" Gabe yells. Victoria comes out of Gabe's place and makes a disgusted face when she sees Gabe's head. Travis has seen that face before even though Gabe's skull has never been cut open before. "Look at this! My brain is exposed!"
"That's nice, Gabe," Victoria says.
"Come here and touch it!"
"No, that's gross."
"Come on," Gabe leans over and shoves his exposed brain right in Victoria's face. She squeals and pushes him away.
"Get your ass in here," Travis yells. He tries to sigh but it just makes his propellers whir faster as Gabe gets inside him and they fly someplace else.
~*~
"How could you do this to me?" William says. When Travis landed, William stepped right up to him, as he always does, but had the common sense to not jump up and down. Travis only chopped off some of his hair.
"Bill, I'm sorry," Travis yells. "Look, are you hurt?"
"My gorgeous, flowing locks," William moans. He bends down to pick his locks off the ground and pets them sadly.
"Get in and I'll take you to a salon," Travis yells. He has chopped off somebody's arm and now somebody else's head. He's over this. He's really glad he didn't slice off anything important of Bill's.
William climbs inside Travis and runs his fingers through his now shorter hair. "Hey now," William says. "It actually feels a lot better. Gabe, feel my hair. Matt, feel this."
Matt touches it with his attached arm and nods approvingly. Gabe reaches over and feels William's hair. "Very soft," he says. "Feel my brain. It feels like butter."
"No," William says. "Thanks, Travie!"
"Sure thing, Bill," Travis yells.
~*~
"Pete, man, this sucks," Travis yells. He is tired of yelling. He misses whispering, and having legs, and being able to touch someone without harming them horrifically or giving them a haircut.
"I know," Pete says. He had everyone shipped off the the hospital to have their body parts reattached and then got into Travis and told him to go to some building. He was pretty upset after Travis flew in at Pete's at a strange angle and ended up slicing off one of Patrick's legs, even though he also thinks it's funny that Stump is walking, or not walking around with a stump. They're sitting on the roof now, Pete sitting in Travis' pilot seat, Travis sitting directly on the roof since he's still a helicopter. "Maybe we can build you a stable."
Travis whirs sadly. "I don't want to be a helicopter forever."
"Want me to touch your joystick?" Pete says. He wraps his fist around Travis' stick and jerks it up and down.
Travis hovers off the ground for a minute but then settles back down. "Nah, I think I'm gonna go for a fly."
"Sounds good," Pete says, climbing down out of Travis. He lifts his hand up as if to give Travis a high-five and loses the tips of a few fingers for his efforts.
"Fuck," Pete says. "Can you take me to the hospital first?"
~*~
Travis goes back the Pete's miscellaneous building when he's done flying around. Flying was somewhat relaxing, but he's still anxious to be in his own body again. He hit a bird when he was out, and it was like the first time he accidentally ran over a cat all over again. The sunrise was beautiful, though. He wonders if a helicopter soul is walking around inside his body, or if his own body has just been transformed into a helicopter.
Travis hears someone open the door to the roof and walk over to him. He'd turn around to look, but he'd probably end up castrating someone or something, so he just stays still and waits for whoever it is to come to him.
"Well, if it isn't little Brendon Urie," Travis yells. Brendon has a huge shopping bag full of stuff and a folded up blanket in his arms.
"Hey Travie," Brendon yells back.
"You don't have to yell!"
"I want to!" Brendon sets down his shopping bag and goes through it. He pulls out huge sheets of foam and a roll of duct tape.
"I think this'll help," Brendon explains by yelling. He starts to walk towards Travis and it makes Travis nervous, and his propellers start up. He really can't handle dismembering anyone else.
"Shhhh," Brendon yells. Spit flies out from between his teeth, because it's hard to shush someone that loudly. "It's okay."
Travis calms down and thinks of being a person and his arms around someone again. Brendon gets to work wrapping the foam padding stuff around the propellers. He slices his thumb open, and Travis wants to tell him to leave. Brendon just sucks on his cut for a second and then gets back to it. Before he knows it, Travis has foam sock things taped to all of his propellers.
Brendon runs his hands over one of them and then leans down to kiss it. "See?" He yells, pointing at his unharmed lips. "All better!"
Travis passes out and when he wakes up, he is suddenly a person again. He stands and stretches, and it feels good to be in his own body. He's naked on some roof in the middle of the day, but he's naked in his own body.
"Here," Brendon says. He stands on his toes and wraps the blanket he brought with him around Travis' shoulders.
"Thanks," Travis says. He thinks it's really nice to talk at a normal volume once again. "Guess I just needed some TLC."
Travis puts his arm around Brendon's shoulders. Brendon lifts his hand and pats Travis's hand on his shoulder. Travis lifts Brendon's hand to his mouth and presses a kiss to the cut on his thumb.
"All better," Travis whispers, because he can whisper now.
Brendon smiles up at him, and Travis has been in the body of a helicopter, has been in the sky higher than the sun and watched it rise up to meet him, but the light in Brendon's face when he smiles is something else.
"Hey, wanna go spoon?" Travis says.
Brendon slides his arm around Travis's naked waist and says, "Sure."
~*~THE END~*~
Okay now someone write a story where Travie is a helicopter pilot. :((((( SPECIFICALLY ONE WHERE HE RESCUES PANIC AT THE DISCO FROM AN AVALANCHE IN THE MOUNTAINS AND THEN HE BONES BRENDON, AM I RIGHT.