Sirius Black, Statement, 2 February 1978
Name: Sirius Black
Format: Statement
Date: 2 February 1978
Relevance: Official account of Death Eater - Order Member conflict.
( Official statement of Sirius Black )
Format: Statement
Date: 2 February 1978
Relevance: Official account of Death Eater - Order Member conflict.
( Official statement of Sirius Black )
*she sighs frustratedly*
Though I'll have to attend his funeral, which will be a nuisance. I can never stand all the wailing, and you know what his mother's like. It'll be like the cats at midnight.
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*brow wrinkles with a brief ghost of confusion*
*licks his lips*
He was rather stupid and cruel. And as I unfortunately found out to an intimate degree, rather alarmingly inattentive to his dental health.
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I've always thought the word 'cruel' had a certain dignity to it, a dignity that Algernon definitely did not possess.
*she touches her lips to hide a smile*
Goodness, Sirius, the situation was worse than I believed. There I thought he was only trying to kill you, don't tell me he was actually trying to kiss you? No wonder he had to knock your friend out and pin you down.
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*cocks an eyebrow*
Would 'stinking arsehole' suit him better?
*fleeting look of inquiry until he catches on to where this is going*
Dear God, are you trying to make me vomit?
*stifles a quick laugh, trying to control the shape of his mouth*
He'd've had to do a lot more than pin me down.
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It would indeed but you can hardly expect me to use such language. I must refer people to you whenever I wish to mention him, and you can express our mutual low opinion of his mental capacities for both of us.
Ah but poor Algernon lacked the delicate touch that an Imperius requires. *she speaks almost fondly* Besides stubborn man that you are, I imagine all but the strongest Imperius would roll right off you.
Perhaps if he had a great deal of Amortentia. A few barrelfuls perhaps.
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*confidently*
Quite.
*grimaces*
You really are trying to make me ill. Or are you so fascinated with picturing such a thing that you can't bear to leave the idea alone? *appraising look* Honestly, I'd thought better of your taste than that.
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*she makes a slight moue of distaste*
Believe me, had I wanted relations with Algernon, I should have had no trouble in arranging them. Besides, had I wanted to fantasise about such a Beauty and the Beast coupling, you would serve well in both roles.
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An excellent idea. Perhaps you'd prefer broadsheets done up for a more professional touch?
*revolted*
The very idea of anyone wanting relations with Algernon is making me question my choice of breakfast.
*short laugh, sucking in a breath*
Do you really think so, Bella? *eyes shine with a touch of dangerous heat, mouth stretching into a teasing curve* I had no idea.
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Now do be charitable, Sirius. You should be grateful to Algernon. The sheer fact of his appalling hygiene, multiple chins and gait of a constipated penguin render you all the more attractive by comparison.
*she lowers her eyes demurely, smiling slightly*
Do you deny it? You as much the Beast as you are Beauty. And I should certainly rather think of you than Algernon. My mental health is not that far gone.
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Go on. I'm sure you could say it if you really wanted to.
*lip curls*
I think I'd rather be thought slightly less stunning.
*a grin spills across his face*
How could I deny it? But I have the impression that I'm being indirectly insulted. It's not much of an admission to say that you'd rather think of me than that great hulking pile of... *lips twitch* unpleasantness.
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I'm capable of much cruelty and depravity, but alas, such language is beyond me. Beside, it would ruin your image of me as a perfect lady, and I can't have that happening.
*she laughs, quickly biting back the sound*
I could set your mind at rest that specimens like Algernon are not required to make you appear handsome, but you might misread my motives. *solmenly* So I will content myself with saying that until you have a chin more than dear Algernon had, and smelt like a dirtier camel than he did, I shall always prefer you to him.
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*catches the tip of his tongue between his teeth*
*smirks*
Again, you demonstrate your immense kindness in allowing me that. *slight, mocking bow* I can rest assured in the knowledge that I smell of at least slightly cleaner camel.
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*she lays a palm on his cheek and speaks with amused affection*
Oh, Sirius, you are one of the handsomest man of my acquaintance, but, *she lets her hand drop* you would not thank me for saying so, and I say again that you would misread my motives. Your vanity must find other food than my good opinion.
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Well said.
*eyes widen slightly as she touches him, but his smile doesn't waver*
*voice low and velvety, somewhat at odds with his expression*
But it is a good opinion, cousin.
I'm not sure what he's doing here, exactly. I don't think even *he* knows what he wants. XD
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It is a good opinion. Good enough that I may easily say - *she leans forward, resting her hand on his chest to steady herself as she moves her lips to his ear and whispers* -that I don't think you are a stinking arsehole.
*she stands back, flushing slightly*
Bella is too mad to give anything any sane thought whatsoever. She just has trouble knowing how to manage Sirius. :)
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*laughs fully and joyously*
*stops suddenly, letting a hand lie lightly at her elbow*
*eyes spark*
You say the kindest things.
Hee hee. Well, I think he's lost me at this point, so I suppose it's just another round of sit-back-and-watch-what-he-does. :)
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